Saved [boyxboy]

Chapter 15: Epilogue

The closer we got to heading off to college, the more confused our emotions got. I guess more so for Caleb than for me. He's been here since birth. Palmiste Grove saw him take his first steps, utter his first words, saw him on his first day of kindergarten, middle school and high school. Palmiste Grove saw him go on his first date, break up with his first (and last) girlfriend, lose his best friend to death. Palmist Grove was Caleb's life.

We talked about his moving away often and I could never read him correctly all the time. Sometimes he was happy to move away, talking excitedly about seeing the world. Other times, an overwhelming sadness would overcome him, especially when it came to his family. He loved his Dad and Laura so much and I think he was mostly scared of not having that security net of his parents. 

With the aid of our parents, we helped each other pack up our lives. One night, we were over at his house and I told him about the time Declan visited me. His reaction was a lot better than I thought, with his belief in the supernatural and everything. He was by no means nonchalant, yet there was a certain calmness about him. I attributed it to his emotional state as we were packing to leave in a couple weeks.

We laid in his bed, me on the inside with my arm draped around his waist and my head resting on his chest, his arm wrapped around me, holding me close, his hand petting my head. I drew circles on the fabric of his t-shirt, listening to the beat of his heart and inhaling his scent. This felt right. Good. "Baby?" he said. I turned my head to look up at him and found him staring at me. "How many kids do you think we'd have?"

I shot up in bed and looked at him, concern blowing through me. "...What?" I asked uncertainly. Caleb had never expressed a desire to have children. In truth, we had never spoken of the future in detail. 

"Really," he said, looking at me. "How many?"

I looked at him. After some hesitation, I answered. "Ideally, two," I said. "We both know what it's like to be an only child. I'd want a son to be protective of his little sister."

"So a boy and a girl?" Caleb asked. I nodded. "Hmm. I like the sound of that." I laughed and laid down on his chest again. "What about our house? Where would we live? Will Raine and Lucas go to private school? Will they carry both of our last names?"

I turned around full on my stomach now and looked at him. "Raine and Lucas? Okay, seriously babe," I began, "what's with this conversation?"

"I just wanna have the conversation," he said. "We're going away and we never talked about what the future has in store for us." The aura in the room suddenly changed. "I'm excited and scared at the same time." We sat up in bed now. He took my hands in his and looked me in the eye. "This is a different experience, Jace. What's this change gonna do to us? What's to stop us from hurting each other? Will we survive? Will-"

"Babe, babe...Caleb, calm down!" I said, silencing him mid sentence. "I know that this change is scary. Don't you think I was scared when I moved away those years ago? Or worse yet, when I came back? My boyfriend had just died. My Dad died before him. I was coming back to the place that took them, the place that I'd see them on every corner and every street. I left the only familiar place, the place I grew up and held so much bad memories, only to come back to it and to them. " His eyes fell and I held his chin, bringing his eyes back up to me. "But you learn to adapt. When you're surrounded by the right person or people, it gets easier. Sometimes you reconnect with people you wronged, people you never thought you'd ever see again. Sometimes those people heal the hurt that's in your heart and sometimes they save you from yourself."

He smiled faintly. "I get you..."

"Look, babe. One thing I've learned is that talking about the future sucks," I said. "Declan and I talked about the future all the time. And I'm pretty sure that you and Declan talked about the future too. And look at where we are now. We're still here, he's dead."