YOUR HAPPINESS OVER MINE ↠ DANIEL SEAVEY

27: I Can't Hate Him

"Don't ever talk to me," I broke about to hang up the phone.

"Sienna! Please!" he screeched.

I wish that I hung up the phone right then and there. I wish I blocked his number and never had any communication back to him. I wish that he never hurt me and that I never hurt him. I wish that I was over him, so I could hang up the phone.

But, I couldn't.

"I can't believe you told the interviewer we broke up. When did you think to call me about our relationship?" venom spiking in my words.

"You should've called me! I was the one that confessed my feelings, yet I'm still the bad guy," he huffed becoming angry.

Tears stained my eyes knowing this would just become another argument. A sharp chuckle escaped my lips thinking why I would ever want to have a relationship with Daniel again. Why I would ever go through the abrupt pain he's caused me over and over again.

"Fine."

"What?"

"I'm not arguing with you anymore! I'm done. You told her — so it's over. You won't talk to me and I promise I won't talk to you. I'll pretend like I've never met you because I promise when I leave for New York after graduation next week you'll never see me again," I screamed.

It was silent.

He didn't know what to say — I didn't either. I could hear the muffled sounds of harsh breathing and hard weeps of small cries on the other side.

I couldn't handle it anymore. All my sadness and all my anger built up to something that I've never expected myself to feel about him — hatred. I felt the poison spill out of my words as I meant every single word. It's terribly funny how you can love someone and hate them in a single moment.

"You know, the Devil could hear your prayers too? Sometimes they don't come with a pitchfork and horns, but he gives you everything you've ever wanted. And you? You were my demon," he splurged as the hot droplets filled my cheeks.

"You know why I didn't say it back? I was afraid! God Daniel, I was in love with you! I was so in love with you that I was afraid of being heartbroken! But, guess what? It happened anyway."

The silence was unnerving. I wanted him to speak, but at the same time I didn't. I want to tell him that I still wanted this relationship, but at the same time I couldn't.

My heart was so tired. I can't keep getting hurt time after time because of him. I can't keep crying to myself at night because of him. I can't have my life fall apart as it is just beginning all because of him.

"Sienna —" he started as I shook my head.

"Don't. Goodbye Daniel," I spoke softly as the line cut.

You have blocked Daniel Seavey.

——

I had so many thoughts cloud up my mind I couldn't think straight. Driving had always been the cure to my stress, so I didn't find it a problem hopping into my car after the phone call. I didn't know how long I've been driving — yet I didn't care.

I was suddenly reached by a phone call from my sister as I answered it from the car's speaker.

"Hello?" my voice strained.

"It happened!" she giggled excitedly.

"What?"