Pain and Love Comes in Many Forms

Chapter Forty Two

He gave it a day.

A day for me to prepare myself, to come up with some sort of excuse.

I looked at my phone as the location turned on.

"35069 Willow's Creek rd, Denver, Colorado," I read out slowly.

"Well, I'll be taking my leave. Prison sucks a bit."

"How do you know I won't try to attack you?" I asked.

"I won't bother with you again. Call it a change of heart. What happened over your life was never your fault. Stop blaming yourself for it." He left the house, and I sat at the counter, head in my arms, waiting.

Didn't take long for the door to be busted down and the cops to find me. I was ready to leave.

Ready to go home.

I never thought a car ride could feel so painful.

I could remember what I did to get out of there.

Holding my phone, I smiled seeing jack texted me, giddy I was getting home.

I kept smiling, even though inside, I was screaming at myself for even giving into Dan's idea.

But what was done was done.

I couldn't change anything.

One long car ride later, I was home. Jack was sitting on the porch as the cop car pulled up. They let me out and I met his eyes, seeing the relief wash over him.

Guilt +1000

I did my best to be happy, and ran over to him, hugging him as tightly as possible. The cops said some things and left us, and the two of us walked inside.

"I'm happy you're okay, he didn't do anything to you, did he?"

"No. Seems he gained a heart."

Jack smiled in even more relief.

Fuck, I felt like shit.

How could I sleep with another person to escape. It's so selfish!

Still, I didn't want to hurt him by telling him that.

"Something wrong? Did something happen after all?!" He asked worriedly.

"No," I lied, "I just, It was annoying being there. I need to call mom and she if Dan was right about us not being siblings"

"Is that really important?"

I nod, "yes, because that means both my parents lied to me for the entire time they knew me."

"They just wanted to tie you as brothers, they didn't know until later how he was-"

"If I knew, half the shit that I went through wouldn't have happened!" I exclaimed, then softened, leaving the room and pulling out my phone, dialing my mom's number.

Two rings.

"Honey-"

"Why did you never tell me?"

I could practically hear her flinch, "it didn't seem important."

"That's not for you to decide! Ugh, there are so many things that are upsetting me about all this."

"Ethan. I'm sorry."

"Sure. Sure you are." I hung up, and leaned against the way, closing my eyes, thinking.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jack asked, leaning against the wall beside me.

"You're not worried over the things I said?"

He shook his head, "if anything, I'm disappointed in myself for not seeing anything. And imagining the pain you must've went through we you saw someone just randomly kiss me... I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, I'm not good with emotions, or people. I didn't want you worrying over me. Seems that I let it go to far."

"I'm just glad you're back. I haven't been able to get any sleep."

"Neither have I," I lied. Well, partially. I did have trouble sleeping, except when I laid in Dan's arms that one night.

My guilt was just going to grow bigger.

Then do you want to get some sleep?

"Yeah, I do."

"This is a different level then before..." Dan said in a husky voice, sliding my shirt off of me.

"Maybe because you have consent this time? And you have some sort of feelings for me?" I joked, pulling off his shirt.

His hands slid down my thighs, taking my jeans with them, and I was warm in his swift movements.

"Quite possibly."

I had put jack out of my mind and wiped away all bad will I had, at least for this. I let him get rid of that last dividing fabric.

I was left bare under him. Only Jack had seen me like this before.

Damn it! I already said I'd put jack out of my mind.

"Ah, lube! Thank god that associate threw in something useful." He pulled lube out of his jacket pocket, and popped the cap open.

Thank god he was taking precautions.

He poured the lube on his fingers and spread them about before returning his attention to me.

I laid there as he spread my legs open.

Every moment was just as pleasurable as it was with jack, minus the love that Jack and I put in it.

Was I suppose for fall for two people?

Or have I just gone mad?

Definitely went mad.

"That's what your precious fiancé gets to see all the time? I can see why he constantly wants to jump your bones. Even my ex wife was quite boring in bed."

"I forget you have two kids that yo- Wait! Did you!"

"No, I never molested or raped any children. I got aggressive and smacked my family around, but i never raped them. Hailey isn't as innocent as people made her out to be."

I felt some sort of relief hearing that despite the fact he still was pretty damn horrible. "Why'd you marry Hailey if you didn't love her?"

"Even notice how quickly lily was born?"

"Yeah, two months af-" I sighed "oh."

"I wanted to feel something, messed around, then when she was pregnant, she forced me to marry her. She was a bit of a gold digger."

She did try to get into Jack's pants.

"You tired?"

"Yeah,"

"I may not be the best substitute, but you can rest in my arms if that gives you any peace."

I wanted to outright say no, but I resisted, "thank you." We cleaned up and I laid in his arms, feeling warm, and I got my first good sleep in the past few days.

I woke up with jack snoring softly next to me, his arm draped around me.

Why did I have to have such a dream?

Why can't anything be normal?

I sighed softly and curled closer to jack, ignoring the guilt I felt bite at me, falling back asleep.

Things will be better soon.

Or so I hoped.