Pain and Love Comes in Many Forms

Chapter Thirty One

Well...

"Back home!" I exclaimed, walking into the living room of my house. I looked behind me, seeing the suitcases standing still. "Right, he got called in. I'll see him later."

God, my thoughts were going to go crazy again.

I brought all the luggage into the room, smiling sadly as I closed the front door. It was cold all the sudden.

It's not like Jack wanted to go into work, he was still on vacation after all, but I insisted. I always insisted.

I sat on the couch. Everything just wanted to hurt me, huh?

It felt like everything was a direct attack on me too.

He plane crash, that dude knowing I was there.

The attacker who bolted my way.

The camera, pointed at my bed.

Then the attempted rapist, who had eyes on me.

I sat up straight, a thought coming to me.

Could....

Could someone have arranged all this?

No....

No.
No.
NO.

NO!

It's just a coincidence!

I'm a celebrity after all!

Oh god.

Oh god.

Not again.

Not again.

Not AGAIN!

My breath hitched, my body shaking, convulsing.

Damn it. I hate having panic attacks. I just wanted to calm down. I couldn't though.

I was paranoid. I was afraid.

I'm so fucking weak.

So afraid I need others to protect me.

What's wrong with me?

I don't even know how long I spent there, shaking, but I remember Jack coming home.

"Shit! Ethan!" He rushed over, yanking me into a warm embrace. I slowly calmed in his arms, like always.

Like always, and I clung desperately to him.

I'm scared.

I'm scared.

I'm scared!

My nails dig into his shirt, and I was crying. He seemed to know why to do, picking me up and setting us on the couch. He held my close to him, whispering sweet things in my ears and stroking my hair until I calmed down.

"God, what's wrong with me?" I sniffles.

Jack brushed away the remaining tears on my face, "there's nothing wrong with you, there never has been. You've been through a lot, so you might think otherwise."

"Damn it, I hate having panic attacks!"

"You get them a lot?"

I froze stiff, but nodded, "ever since Dan raped me, I started having them. They were minor before. Then dad died and school turned to shit and it got worse, but only when I was alone. Then, the plane crash and you getting hurt and me being nearly raped again! I-"

"I get it. You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to."

"You don't think I'm a bother?"