Pain and Love Comes in Many Forms

Chapter Forty Three

I was avoiding going out in public.

after everything I said, i was afraid.

Showing some of my deepest parts, I was terrified.

So there I was, sitting on the couch at home, watching Jack do an interview.

"It's been a couple weeks since Ethan has been out in public." The interviewer named Tim pressed.

"He went out to finish filming, but you have to understand that he's probably still shaken up after being kidnapped."

I smiled at how sweet Jack was.

"Any word on how he was treated? There were times where neither the kidnapper or Ethan were in sight?"

Jack smiled, "Ethan said he was fine. I take his word for it. I'm just glad he's okay."

"So are wedding preparations going along well then?"

"We decided to take a small break in planning so we could both finish our current projects, but yes, it's going well."

"You think he'd be okay accepting a call? We'd love to hear his thoughts!" I smiled softly and pulled out my phone.

I'm game for a call. You look stunning btw.

I saw his phone buzz of the screen and he hesitantly pulled it out.

"It looks like he's watching the interview!" He joked.

"That so? What did he say?"

"He said he's up for it."

He called me and set the phone on the table, I picked up, doing the same.

"Hello!" I said cheerfully.

"You seem in a good mood?" Tim commented.

I shrugged, even though he couldn't see me, "that's just kinda how I greet people. My mood is ehh."

"Why's that?"

"Let's think. Maybe the fact I was kidnapped is still affecting me?"

"R-right!" Tim said, a bit panicked.

"You doing okay at home?"

"Yeah, I'm just, laying on the couch, watching tv."

"That's it?" He said, surprised.

"Well," I sighed, "not quite motivated to do much else right now."

"Think you'll do another movie soon?" Tim asked.

"Of course. I love my job and my fans. I just need time to relax at home and out of public for now."

"That does make sense."

Jack raised a brow at the phone, "any idea what your next project is?"

"Writing songs. Then after that, I'll go directly to whatever movie I'm doing, then go on tour."

"Still busy!"

"I prefer it that way, if I'm being honest."

"That so? Why is that?"

I roll my eyes, the answer was obvious, "keeps my mind off of things."

I could see jack's Dave fill with worry, "Are you really okay talking to us?"

"Yeah, I'm all good. Just a little all over the place."

"Well, we're going to hang up." Jack informed.

"Got it. See you!" They hung up on me.

"Is he really doing okay?"

"He is. He just... he's adjusting. The same things kept happening and then he finds out it was his brother's doing? He's probably comprehending that still."

He's wrong, but he was trying. It sorta was part of the reason I was like this.

"That's a shame. Any big plans for you two? Besides your wedding?"

"Nothing yet."

I sighed and turned off the TV. I was done watching for today.

I got up off the couch and moved my way to the kitchen, but I was stopped by a phone call.

I didn't check it as I answered.

"Hello?"

I heard a deep breath, "I'm surprised with how much I miss your voice."

"Dan! Why are you-"

"Just calling. As it stands, I'm on my way to another country. Won't say which though."

"I expected that. Still, why the call? And how did you get my number."

"I had your phone," he snorted, "remember?"

"Right. Still doesn't explain why you're calling me."

"Well, finding out i can only feel emotions with one person, and that person is in love with someone else, kinda stings."

"Sorry, but I can't help you with that."

"I know. That's why I'm going across the world. I'd do something ridiculous if I was anywhere near you."

I sighed, I kinda missed his voice too. It was weird. Just months ago, everything about Dan made me break down, now... against all odds, I felt pity for him. Before I'm reminded of the things he did. "Like you haven't done that already."

"I-" he paused, "you're right. I wish our lives could've been different. Had I never been your brother, even if only in name, had I never hurt you, had my parents lived, had-!"

"I get it!"

"I wonder if things would've been different."

My mind constantly wandered to that too. That what if. "We'll always be left to wonder. Isn't that how life works?"

"I guess so." He whispered, "can you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"I know it might be hard, but, Hailey... she wasn't innocent. She hurt the kids too. If you could, save them, and raise them as your own. They deserve better than what we both got. And you and Jack, you're the best they can get."

"I-" I held back, "I'll try."

"Thank you. I don't have any right to ask you for anything, but you make me regret the things I have done, and I want things to be right."

"I understand. And, wherever you are, try to do some good."

"I can do that. Anyways, I'm sure you want to be focusing on yourself now, so goodbye."

"Goodbye."

I heard the dial tone. And I turned off my phone.

I felt so many things I didn't want to.

Guilt

Regret

happiness

Relief

Anger

All of that, it plagued me.

Would the pain go away as soon as Jack and I got married?

Would it never go away?

I didn't know.

I did realize that I have to come clean with jack.

I looked at my phone screen, and took a deep breath.

He wasn't going to be happy, not at all.

He may break up with me, but I have to accept it.

I love him.

I couldn't hurt him by hiding it from him.

I didn't want to feel guilty each time we laid next to each other.

I was afraid.