Knowing - jikook au

Surreal.

Surreal. The amount of attention Hana was receiving was surreal.

When she'd taken the Snapchat of a naked Jeon Jungkook lying in bed, she'd still been angry with Seokjin, with herself, and it seemed like a good idea at the time - pretend your life is together and you haven't just broken up with a man who wanted to give you his everything. Why she ever thought doing this by posting a picture of a celebrity in a post-sex state was a good idea, she couldn't say, because it wasn't a good idea. It was a terrible idea.

Sure, her friends were congratulating her on bedding a celebrity, and a lot of people seemed to be asking in awe how she enticed Jeon Jungkook enough to have the first public relationship of his career (even though it was just a one night stand, something some people were overlooking).

It's not that she wanted to cause a massive drama. She just wanted Seokjin to see. She just wanted Seokjin to think that she didn't regret leaving him, because if he saw her regret then he may think she was still in love with him. She wasn't. She just regretted that she was approaching her 30s and she wasn't any closer to getting married, the worry that she would be forever alone burning into her brain as her mother's judgemental words hissed in her ear.

She supposed it didn't matter much for Jungkook - every celebrity had one night stands, people were just making a big thing out of it because Jungkook hadn't had one in a while. Or at least, not that the media knew of. It's not like he had a girlfriend or somebody he was loyal to, somebody he was in love with... who said he wasn't allowed to sleep with a fairly hot girl like Hana? It was Hana who was going to face all the problems, in her mind at least. What if her mother saw? What if the hate she was getting from Jungkook's fans never stopped? What if gossip sites didn't stop contacting her for more information on him? What if she had to live with this stupid mistake forever, and ever, and ever? She didn't think she could.

Especially when an angry Seokjin phoned, his tone stabbing her down the line as shame and disappointment shot into her ears."Hana, what do you think you're playing at? Is this your way of making me jealous? Because this isn't just me you're playing with, you literally just posted a picture of a celebrity in a vulnerable-"

"Don't you think I know that?!" Hana snapped, Seokjin's hurried tone making her anger flare. "I'm aware of what I did, and if I wasn't then the whole of the internet has had time to let me know, okay?! I didn't- it wasn't meant to happen like that."

"Then how was it meant to happen, huh?!" Seokjin asked, incredulously.

"I don't know, not like that. I was trying to- I was trying to get back at you, even though it's all my fault. I didn't want to blame myself."

"Hana," Seokjin sighed, his tone a lot softer after hearing the vulnerable one of his ex-girlfriend. He still loved her, no matter how much he wished he didn't - he dated her for years, he'd wanted to marry her, those feelings didn't just disappear over a couple of days. That's why it hurt to hear her sound so broken, even if she was fixable, and he was shattered beyond repair. "Oh Hana."

"Jinnie," Hana whined as tears started to fall, her throat clenching and her tone coming out higher than usual.

"Have you taken the picture down?" Seokjin asked, figuring that would be a good place to start.

"Of course I have, I'm not an idiot!" Hana wailed down the phone, before proceeding to sob. "They're telling me to kill myself Jinnie, they're telling me that I'm a bitch and that I shouldn't bother to keep living and- and- and-"

"Hana, I need you to calm down. Breathe in... and out... in... and out-"

"I'm not giving birth!" The girl exploded, cutting off her ex. "Please say something useful!"