I can barely imagine the next day, the next hour, the next minute, the next second of being alive. I think only of how I could just kill myself and take my life because this depression has overcome me. It's clouded all of it. Its covered the windows and blocked out all the light. Now all I have is the hope to hold on to that one day, I'll be able to open up the curtains and just cry. Cry because I'm happy and free. For once, not cry because this pain is killing me and the memories that drive me insane. These words I inscribe on myself and yet I fake a smile. Maybe I trapped myself in a well of darkness. Maybe I did this too myself. Maybe it's just a reason to hate myself even more. Because I trapped myself with their words. I trapped myself with their hate and disgust. And then I ended up believing myself that I was worthless. Now I sit here waiting for someone to tell me I'm worth it because I can't do it myself. I've given up on myself a long time ago and just want to die every waking moment. I could never be happy of the moments I'd wake up to see the daylight shine through my window. I only see what is later to be my own suffering. This pain and regret is just killing me. I just wish the light would for once shine through my eyes and into my soul instead of shining onto this scarred corpse of a man.
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Infatuated Bliss
Poetry"This is the mindscape carved by a blade, engraved into my mind. The same blade I used to carve the word Happy into my skin" ~ Assassain_Music #18 in MentallyUnstable #967 in Anxiety..that's impressive-right??
