Okay, so I've got this grudge against birthdays. A pretty big one. Oh ya, and yesterday was my birthday-the twenty-third. I'm fifteen now, yayyyyyyy. As you can tell, there was a lot of sarcasm from that yay, or maybe you couldn't because it's just a piece of text that we as a modern society often use to mask how we feel and what we really mean or in general, who we are.
Anyways, getting back to the subject at hand, I hate birthdays. I've hated birthdays ever since I was a child. My family would constantly fight and argue during them, or they'd invite their coworkers over and just get drunk together. My brother would tease me constantly and punch me.
Birthday presents did exist for me, yes, but I remember I'd constantly take hours and hours to days trying to figure out what presents I wanted, while trying to keep each present under like ten bucks. I was constantly trying to be considerate of my family's situation and their budget.
Then there was what we'd do for my birthdays. A pressing matter indeed. I used to want to go out places and my parents would take me, but I'd see my family always fighting during the time. I got tired of it, and I ended up changing to where I just wanted to stay home and do nothing, just lock myself in my room and cry and hell, even pray back then because I was still going to church, asking for things to just get better for once and that they'd all just get along be it only a minute or even a second.
On the subject of where to go, after not wanting to do anything for my birthday, my parents would get pissed off at me because I wouldn't choose to do anything. They'd make the argument that they took all the time off just to spend it with me. I make my rebuttal telling them I never asked for any of them to take time off from work. I couldn't care less anyways.
I couldn't care. I stopped caring about my birthday for the longest time I could remember. A statement I keep saying on my birthday is, "My birthday-yay. Another day alive, when all I wanted for a gift, was to be dead."
Well, there's my grudge against birthdays. I really don't like them, at all. But still, feel free to wish me a happy birthday if you want. I won't hold it against ya.
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Infatuated Bliss
Poetry"This is the mindscape carved by a blade, engraved into my mind. The same blade I used to carve the word Happy into my skin" ~ Assassain_Music #18 in MentallyUnstable #967 in Anxiety..that's impressive-right??
