Veronica [Zarry]

first times

"I can't sleep," she whines, rolling over. "M'not tired."

"No?" I smirk. "What would you rather do?"

"Is it okay if...I'm Zayn for a bit? I just want to be myself. There's a lot I want to tell you, I trust you Harry."

"Of course," I'm smiling like an idiot, my insides melting.

Besides it being weird switching personal pronouns in my head, when he returns fresh faced styling a messy quiff my heart skips a beat. I bite back a smile because he's so shy but also so incredibly beautiful, I doubt he even realizes it.

There's space between us so I pull him closer, ears blessed with the sound of his little giggles.

"Zayn," I try it out on my tongue, caressing his cheek. "You're so pretty."

"Stop," he bites his bottom lip and it drives me crazy with desire.

I've never wanted a guy until now. In fact, I've never wanted anyone this bad.

He's startled when my mouth starts working at his neck, letting out a small whimper, his hardness brushing against me.

"It's okay," I murmur, lips tickling his earlobe. "I'll take care of you."

His eyes are glimmering gold, darkening with lust and I feel hopelessly lost. I've never wanted to be so lost, heart pounding against my ribcage. My pulse is quick in my neck, I'm aching for him.

I straddle his waist, pin his arms above his head and he gasps as my tongue parts his mouth, forcing entry. He shifts beneath me as I kiss down his throat. His pulse is so quick, he can't catch his breath as I pull away, hand on his chest. My tongue traces circles over his hardened nipples.

He shivers and sighs and falls apart, soft moans slipping from between his lips, cheeks flushed, eyelids fluttering closed.

I'm kissing a trail down his stomach to his v-line and I feel him sharply intake some air. He's trembling so much I pause, concerned, and cup his face in my hands.

He's so sensitive, so delicate I'm trying to be everything he needs.

"Babe," I say gently. "What's wrong? Tell me."

My fingers are lost in his feathery soft quiff. His eyes are swimming with tears and I feel disappointed in myself. I did something wrong, I hurt him, I f-

"You really l-like me as Zayn?" He stutters and sniffles and I gladly wipe away his tears.

"I like when you're being yourself, any version of you Zayn."

His head is on my shoulder, I feel his heartbeat pressed against me. My hand is on the small of his back, rubbing gently. He hiccups painfully before shattering me into millions of fragments.

"No one else does. My dad was so angry, I looked up to him so much Harry. It fucking hurts, being ashamed of his only son. I thought things would be so simple if I was a girl. They're expected to be attracted to men but for guys...it's repulsive. People are disgusted by me. I'm selling lies when I sell myself."

"Zayn," I exhale shakily. My heart hurts so damn much. I hate that he feels this way; that everyone always abandons him.

"I'm nothing but a filthy whore anyway, I'd do anything just for a touch, I want-"

I'm cutting him short, kissing him until I'm breathless, until I'm convinced I wouldn't want anyone else.

"I have to ask you something," I say, tone serious.

He looks at me expectantly, brows furrowed and he swallows thickly before nodding in approval "ask away."

"Why'd you choose the name Veronica?"

"You little shit," he chuckles, smacking my arm playfully. "I thought you were being serious."

The pout on his face is so adorable I can't help myself from peppering his face with kisses.

"If we're being serious, you should see your family Zayn. I'm sure they miss you and maybe they regret how things left off. I certainly would, you have this huge heart and a great sense of humor and I think your dad should be proud to call you his son."

His face nuzzles the crook of my neck, tickling my skin. He smells like amber, vanilla and brown sugar. Faintly of nicotine but I don't mind. It's distinctly him.

"Your heart is bigger," he whispers, breath warm as it fans across my neck.

"Are you afraid babe? They still love you, I'm sure of that."

Silence settles between us and I don't push it. Instead, I pour out everything to him, let him slowly learn my heart. I'll share it with him, I'll let him build a home there because that's where he belongs.

"I'm glad I was stupid enough to walk into the club. This might sound crazy coming so soon but you're the purest and most genuine person I've ever met. I gave up a lot when I moved here, I sacrificed being close to my mum and I distanced myself from my mates. Now I'm laying here wondering why. Is it because I wanted more money because that's pathetic. All I know is that you made it worth it. I think for a long time my idea of what is important in life was distorted and you're giving me clarity. Life isn't about the material things, it's about the journey and the people you meet along the way."

He gives me such a sincere smile, eyes crinkling at the corners.

"That's the thing Harry," he pokes my dimples and I laugh, hanging onto every word he says. He sends my heart to the edge and I wait patiently for him to finish his thoughts. "We don't know where the journey will take us. Every decision we make paves a new path. We discover new things about ourselves and meet people who have the power to change everything. Maybe I was too quick to judge you that first night. No one has ever given me a chance, much less made me feel appreciated."

My heart feels full, I want to tell him everything and to be honest it scares me. I've never fallen this hard, this fast but there's something undeniable between us, I feel sparks everytime we touch.

"Yeah? I'm glad, it's what you deserve."

I tuck him into my arms. He's so tiny, waist thin, legs lanky. I can feel his ribs poking out and although it concerns me, tonight has been too perfect. I'll bottle it up and save it for another time.

"Are you comfortable babe?"

"This is the first time anyone has ever cared about my feelings."

I blink back tears, fingers brushing through his hair.

"Zayn," I exhale softly, heart doing a silly little dance. "This is the first time I've ever felt anything at all."