I spent the next month healing. I barely talked, and when I did, I only spoke a few words at a time.
I knew that Kakashi had lived... Kisame had informed me later on.
The thing that bothered me most though... were the last words he spoke to me.
He loves me.
Even when he knew I was an S-rank criminal.
Even after I forced him to take another S-rank criminal into his home.
Even through my strange and childish antics.
Even after my decision to join the Akatsuki.
Of course I loved him in return... but I couldn't help but think that I wasn't worth it. Kakashi could have a perfectly normal life back at Konoha with another girl, and completely forget about me... and be happy, not having to worry about his girlfriend getting captured or killed every moment of every day.
I wanted that for him, but my other selfish half couldn't bear the thought of him with someone else, and my brain couldn't help but let my selfishness win. I sometimes couldn't believe the nerve of my own mind... telling me that Kakashi would be happier with someone else.
I pissed myself off... and I'm now just realizing I may be losing it.
I sigh as I grab some food from the kitchen, not even caring to see which leftovers I'd picked out.
Kakashi and the others hadn't been heard from since that first attack. Kisame had kept me up to date though, saying that Kakashi was going against orders of the Hokage, and continued to pursue us using his ninja hounds. This meant that the Akatsuki moved every week, or whenever the dogs came to close to finding us.
It was tiresome for the others, but a few were still recovering from the last attack, and therefore they couldn't take a chance of someone finding us.
I travel outside for a breathe of fresh air. The cool night breeze brushes against my skin, and the stars sparkling bright in the distance.
The sky always seemed to taunt me, and yet... it made me feel better in some ways.
Whenever I felt horrible I'd see the night sky, I'd see the stars shining on, and the moon gleaming in the night, just as it always did. It remained peaceful... unaware of the sorrows of life, and uncaring as well.
Yet, the night sky managed to go on. Sure a star or two exploded after billions of years... but the others still went on shining. They don't stop just because another one did.
And so, I push myself up and enter the hideout.
Done with moping. Done with crying.
Moving on.
*Time Skip*
A few years had passed, and many things had changed. I for one was put on numerous missions, and was given my own room.
I had become increasingly powerful after training with each of the Akatsuki members. And though I, at first, was reluctant to cave... the group had become a sort of family.
They joked and played, teased and taunted, and they were the exact opposite image than what I would've thought less than five years ago. Of course, they still killed and slaughtered... but I never saw them the way I had when they continuously came after me.
I still didn't care about them more than those in Konoha though, and I blamed them for stealing me away from a life that I'd just started to love. Though I kept these thoughts to myself, I couldn't help but feel angry.
Kakashi had ceased his searching after about five months. As I knew he would eventually. Yet, even though I knew it would happen, it didn't make it any less painful that he had indeed given up.
My 'family' had also shrunken in the past years.
Sasori had been killed by Lady Chiyo of the Sand, on a mission that I knew Kakashi was on as well. The jinchuriki of the one tails had been revived, though the demon within him had been sealed away... I still held some relief that he had lived, even if I hadn't known him.
Hidan had later been foolish and cocky (as always) and been trapped in the Nara forest, where I assumed he died though he always reminded us of his immortality. With out food and water, and with out the ability to sacrifice to Jashin, I assume the loud mouth hadn't lasted.
Kakazu was killed by none other than Kakashi... I had been conflicted about what to feel at this juncture. Kakazu and I hadn't been close, but he'd taught me many helpful techniques. Kakashi, though he had given up on me, still held my love, and I missed him dearly.
Deidera had blown himself up in an attempt to kill Sasuke Uchiha, whom had joined Orochimaru, gained power, killed Orochimaru, and been out for Itachi for some time. Deidera failed to kill the Uchiha. His last words of course, were, "ART IS AN EXPLOSION!" or something of the sort, according to Zetsu.
And Itachi had died just recently, Sasuke had finally hunted him down. Itachi had allowed himself to die... his sickness taking hold, and his little brother's hatred having grown enough.
Altogether, it was rather quiet at the once bustling hideout.
I'd been upset over all of their deaths. But, I hadn't cried... I allowed myself to mourn, but they hadn't held a deep enough place in my heart to make me break my vow against crying. I was constantly battling myself... because I loved these people... but I hated them as well. I soon came to the conclusion that I'd probably only weep if Kisame died, him having become the closest to me during my time with the Akatsuki.
Tobi, Pein, Konan, Kisame, and Zetsu were the only ones remaining.
Pein was organizing an attack on the Leaf recently. He planned to destroy it.
I hadn't voiced any objections against it, but I couldn't bear the thought of losing all those people. Even a slight image of Kakashi injured, dying... or dead... made me want to burst out crying and never have to see, hear, or do anything again.
The plan was set for a few days from now. Everything had been put in order, and we were all prepared.
The only thing left to do: Attack.
YOU ARE READING
After The Storm *Kakashi Hatake* (Naruto Fanfiction)
RomanceYokina Washi is forced to become a criminal in order to survive the harsh world of the ninja. Once she decides she can't take a life of killing and murder, and wants to start a new life, will she be able to? Or will her past come back to haunt her...