I'm not sure where to go from here. It's like everything has been flipped upside down.
I can't focus on anything and it's getting harder and harder to pretend anymore. I'm not the girl I once was.
I'm stuck between drowning and flying. I can't breathe but I feel so free.
It just doesn't make sense. I'm happy or I'm sad. There is no in between.
I try to focus and do what I'm told but I get caught up in the storm and I get lost.
I'm not sure where I stand. I just seem to make things worse. No one really wants me around.
My dads gone most the time and when he is here it's always a fight between what he wants and what my mom deserves.
But what can I do about it? Nothing.
So I sit and shut my mouth knowing that if I said something it would just get me in trouble. See no one gets it.
No one sees what's going on behind the mask. I'm not fake. Not like other people.
I have walls. Sometimes I'll move them for a few people. Other times you won't get to see anything.
I've been stabbed in the back maybe once or twice. I'm done opening up just to be shut closed.
I hate this beast that roars inside me, rattling my bones. What else can I do?
I'm just the quiet, shy girl in the back of the class. She might get a little too excited when she gets an A and a little too happy sometimes.
But she can't waste that. Happiness is a rare thing for her, so why are you taking it away?
Because everyone thinks they deserve the best and if they don't have it, everyone else should feel miserable.
That's just the way the world works.
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts and Constellations
PoetryA year full of ups and downs, written down to make someone, somewhere feel something. This is my personal journal published for the world to see. All my thoughts and feelings for a year. It has no plot. It has no ending. It just ends. Good luck tryi...
