Bitter Sweet

Chapter 17

Chapter 17 - First Time Doesn't Count
-1 Year Later-
A lot has happened over the past year. To make it easier I've made a list:
1. I found my mate.
2. I fell in love.
3. I was rejected by the man that's suppose to love me no matter what.
4. I ran away from my pack with my best friend.
5. I was raped.
6. I got pregnant
7. I lost my baby due to malnutrition and bad living conditions.
8. I fell in love again.
That's right, I fell in love again! Only this time I fell in love with Arron. Let me tell you the story. So one day, about 8 months ago, while Arron was hunting and I was foraging for food (Yes we are still living in the wild) He just randomly said "I'm just gonna come right out and say it. Cadrian, I like you."
"Well, uh...Arron, I like you too."
"No, I mean I really like you."
I gave him a disapproving look. "Arron, you know we can't. What happens when you find your mate?!" I don't know why I yelled this but a wash of anger came over me. I couldn't help but imagine the day he will meet her and I will no longer be his best friend. I will just be somebody he used to know. Just like that song by Gotye.
"I'll reject her. I don't want anybody except you." With this he took my face into his hands and looked into my eyes. "I love you."
And that kids, is how Arron and I became a couple. Although I knew he couldn't reject his mate I liked the comfort I got from him especially when the comfort was so intimate. Only evil people would reject their mate though. And Arron was far FAR from evil!
And that's why I am making out with Arron at this very moment! He was always gentle with me, even when his kisses were longing and urgent, like they were now. He always kept his hands to himself in moments lie this, probably not wanting to scare me away. But today, his hands roamed. They roamed to places that I can't speak of.
We hadn't discussed the sex part of our relationship. But I'm pretty sure me pulling Arron shirt off, over his head, was enough conformation for him because, He started undoing the buttons to my blouse without ever breaking the kiss. His kisses became so urgent that he almost made my lips sore. I knew they were red and swollen by now. Thankfully he gave my lips a break and started feathering kisses down my neck down to the beginning of my bra. He pulled me off of the forest floor just enough so that he could undo the clasp of my bra and lightly set me down.
Now I'm sure you can imagine what happened next so, I won't explain every detail but there are a few I would like to point out to you.
First of all I want to point out that this is my first time ever doing anything like this. Me being raped didn't count.
Second of all, I want to inform you that I still haven't accepted the rejection. So, I still have the mind link with my mate, which has, by the way, stayed completely blocked since the last slip up. I havn't let my wall down in almost a year. And I hadn't really planned on taking it down until this horrible rage washed over me in the middle of well..ya know. I knew exactly who the anger was directed at. Luke hurt me in a way that I will never fully heal from. So, I wanted to hurt him even worse. That is, if that was even possible. So, I let my wall down completely. I wanted him to feel everything I felt. I wanted him to know what was happening and by his words I'm pretty sure he new exactly what was going on.
Cade, where are you?! Not again...
Not again? Realization hit me like a train. He thinks I'm being raped again. He was in denial. I knew he could feel the passion and the good feelings running through me. He knew it wasn't rape.
I simply moaned, lustfully through my mind link and blocked it once again. I hope it hurts.