Hey Tony. It's been awhile since I've done this. I just wanna catch you up a bit. So I almost died today. YEP. DIED. I wreaked my car and should be dead... but I'm not. I think I wanted to be honestly.. I was so numb ... all I could think about was not thinking. I don't know If that makes any sense. I tried explaining it to Justin but he wouldn't listen. He heard what he wanted to hear so I shut up and smiled through it. We are getting better btw. I hope it stays that way. I don't wanna scare away another one. My dad is still drinking and it's getting worse. I'm afraid if what's gonna happen to Darlene once I leave. I don't trust him. I need to leave here. I know I do because my brain isn't healthy. I'm in a constant state of depression and always stay busy to not give myself the chance to think. I try to be high on benadryl when I'm going to sleep so I won't be able to think. I'm running away and I'm losing my grip. It'll be okay though. I love you.
