How can I live without you (Sequel to Simon FanFic - Sleeping with the enemy)

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You sat there sobbing, clutching your boyfriends lifeless body. His eyes were still open, but the warmth and mischievous glint you usually say in them had disappeared.

"Why?" you whispered sobbing "Why couldn't you just leave things alone" you stroked his face and closed his eyes. Pulling him closer to you as you continued to cry. "Come back Simon, please come back" you were hyperventilating, your vision was blurry with tears and you were oblivious to what was going on around you. 

The room had cleared leaving only Negan, Dwight and Heather around you. 

"Honey you need to let him go now" You heard Negan say softly, you knew he was right, Simon would turn soon. But you didn't respond, you wouldn't talk to him right now and the fact he still called you honey after what he had just done turned your stomach. You weren't sure if you could ever talk to him again, so you continued to hold onto Simon, rocking back and forth slightly as you tried to calm yourself down.

"Hey" Heather whispered, bending down and taking your face in her hands, she wiped your tears and tried to smiles, you didn't smile back "You know what's going to happen, you have to let him go" You knew she was right,

"I want to do it" you managed to say while hyperventilating,

"I don't think that's..." Dwight tried to advise against it but you shot him down.

"It should be me!" you yelled and took out your gun, aiming it at the head of the man you loved. You closed your eyes and took a shot. Before falling to the floor and screaming out in pain and grief, wailing at the sight of Simon's blood.

"Dwight help me move him" Negan commanded, you shot to your feet and aimed your gun shakily at Negan.

"Don't you fucking touch him!" you sobbed,

"Honey put the gun down" he said calmly, which only made you more angry,

"Don't call me that!" you shouted "I'm not your honey, you're nothing to me" his jaw clenched in rage. 

"Lower the fucking gun right now or so help me" he yelled, walking forward until your weapon was pressed against his chest, he knew you wouldn't shoot, you didn't have it in you. You released your grip on the gun and let it fall to the ground. 

"I hate you" you hissed, his face softened as he tried to reach out to you, but you flinched and stepped back. 

"Heather please take her to shower while me and Dwight move the body" he sighed, he obviously hadn't dealt with Dwight yet. 

"No I'll move him" you interrupted running over to his body,

"Sweetie they have to burn his body do you really want to see that?" Heather asked pulling you away, you shook your head defeated and allowed her to guide you out of the room, pausing to kiss Simon's forehead and say goodbye before you did. 

Heather walked you to your room, 

"Are you okay from here?" she asked rubbing your back in an attempt to comfort you. You nodded even though you knew it was a lie. Heather smiles and walked away. You stood in front of the door to your room, Simon's room. How could you go in there without him, sleep in his bed knowing he's never going to climb in beside you again. Silent tears fell down your cheeks. You glanced across at Cameron's door, what were you going to tell him. You heart broke again at the thought of his reaction to the news, there was no way you were ready for that conversation. You shakily opened the door to your room. The scent of Simon hit you as soon as you walked through the door, you let out a small sob as you climbed onto the bed and snuggled into his pillow. You didn't know how you were going to get though this, it hurt so much, you were more than broken. 

You finally pulled yourself together, grabbed your wash bag and made your way to the shower block. Thankfully it was empty, you couldn't face anyone right now. You stood under the running water, willing it to wash away all the hurt. You stood there for a while, until you were shivering, you didn't have the energy to move, you couldn't cry anymore. You were numb. 

Once you were dry, you pulled on your pyjama pants and Simon's blue t-shirt. You needed to feel close to him for what you were about to do. You took a deep breath and opened Cameron's door. He was playing with his cars, blissfully unaware of what had happened that morning. He ran towards you and threw his arms around you, you bit back tears as you hugged him back. You crouched down and took his hands in yours.

"What's wrong?" he asked looking worried.

"Cam I have to tell you something and I need you to be strong okay?" you told him, voice breaking. He nodded but looked concerned. "This morning, Negan and Simon, they had a fight"

"What? why?" he asked getting panicked,

"Sometimes when men disagree on things, that's the only way they think they can settle it" you explained, trying to be as diplomatic as possible "But Cam, Simon didn't win the fight" you whispered.

"Is he okay? Can I see him?" he asked trying to break free from your hold, tears starting streaming down your face now.

"He's dead Cameron" you sobbed.

"No" he gasped, backing away and starting to hyperventilate, "He can't be dead you're lying"

"I wish I was baby" you sobbed, reaching out for him, he flinched and turned around, he started picking up his books and toys and throwing them against the wall as he cried for the man who had become a father figure to him. You wanted to stop him hurting, but you knew you couldn't, instead you let him get it out of his system. Eventually he fell to floor in defeat and you ran to him, wrapping your arms around him as you sobbed together. 

"He didn't come and say goodnight" he finally said, you squeezed him and kissed the top of his head as you remembered the night before when Cameron had asked where he was before he fell asleep, but Simon got back too late to say goodnight. 

"Cameron he loved you" you whispered as you stroked him hair. He just nodded and continued to cry into your shoulder. 

"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" he asked, eyes still watery,

"If you want buddy yeah" you attempted to smile as you wiped a tear from his cheek. 

"I don't want to wake up and you be gone too" he confessed, lip wobbling with the threat of him crying again. You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him close,

"Cameron I'm not going anywhere" you whispered "I promise" he nodded and wrapped his arms around your neck, squeezing you tight. 

"I love you" he whispered,

"I love you too kid" you replied, and smiled properly for the first time that day.

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Hey guys, its here!!! so excited about this sequel.

Comment and Vote and let me know what you think so far.

lots of love xx