How can I live without you (Sequel to Simon FanFic - Sleeping with the enemy)

Admitting to myself

You woke up with Daryl's arm still wrapped around you, he was snoring gently and you could feel his breath on the back of your neck. You couldn't help but smile, it felt so nice to be in someones arms again, but that's all Daryl made you feel, nice. Was that really enough, you craved excitement and danger, someone who made you question everything but at the same time made you feel safe, sound familiar? 

You couldn't lie still and felt him stir behind you. 

"Morning" he whispered, removing his arm from around you so he could stretch. You rolled on to your back and stretched out too. 

"Hey" you replied in your husky morning voice, you saw him raise an eyebrow and blushed. 

"You must be the secret to stopping my night terrors" he smiled, changing the subject,

"Do they happen often?" you asked concerned,

"Usually two or three times a night" he confessed, looking to the ceiling. You felt the sudden urge to hug him so you did, placing your head on his chest and wrapping your arms around him. He seemed to relax at you touch and held you to him. Then you felt a wave of guilt was over you, you sat up quickly and jumped off the bed. 

"Are you okay?" he asked looking confused and he propped himself up with his elbow.

"I'm sorry Daryl" you sighed "I just....I just can't" and you ran to your room, shutting the door behind you. You dived on your bed and buried your head in the pillow, muffling your sobs. What were you doing? 

You stayed locked in your room most of the morning, you knew Daryl would take care of Cam, that wasn't fair of you to expect him to but you couldn't compose yourself, you were just a mess of emotions. 

You heard Jess call your name as she knocked on your bedroom door, you didn't answer but you knew she would let herself in anyway. Her face turned to worry once it fell on you, she closed the door behind her and hurried over to sit beside you on the bed. 

"Hey what's up?"she asked concerned,

"I don't know" you croaked "I don't even know why I'm crying" you didn't, everything had just hit you and you had no control over your bodily functions. She sighed and stroked your hair,

"Tell me what's happened" she whispered, you took a deep breath and told her about the previous night, Negan and Daryl. "Oh babe even for you this is messy" she sighed once you finished,

"I know" you groaned "I'm a horrible person"

"No you're not" she whispered and held you close,

"What am I supposed to do Jess?" you asked "Please tell me because I haven't got a clue"

"I can't make that decision for you" she chuckled "You need to decide what you want, who you want"

"Is it selfish to say I don't want to lose either of them?" you asked, 

"I don't think you will" she smiled and tucked your hair behind your ear,

"Is it awful that I kissed the man who killed my boyfriend?" you asked voice breaking,

"that's a difficult one" she sighed "he killed him to save himself, you kissed Negan the man beneath the costume, not Negan the killer" She was right, they were two totally different people. "Do we need to do pro's and con's" she asked, you nodded and proceeded to make lists on the two of them. 

By the end of your conversation with Jess, you knew exactly who you wanted, the way you smiled when you thought about him, was all the proof you needed. You followed Jess downstairs. Cameron was in the garden playing with his ball, he told you Daryl had gone to see Rick at Alexandria. You joined him in the garden and played for the rest of the afternoon. You made fajitas with a bird Daryl had caught the day before, they tasted amazing and you impressed yourself. Jesus had gone with Daryl so it was just the four of you for tea. You laughed as you ate, excited for what lay ahead of you.

Jess and Craig agreed to watch over Cameron while you back a bag and headed for your truck, you were going to find your man and tell him how you felt. 

You didn't remember driving, you were too lost in thought. A grin plastered on your face. You had butterflies in your stomach and felt like a teenager all over again. You couldn't believe you were doing this, who chased men in the middle of an apocalypse. You finally reached the gates and felt sick. You were both excited and terrified, you knew how he felt about you, but finally saying your feelings out loud was  big deal. You hands shook as the gates opened and you drove through.

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Hey guys, sorry its short but had to leave it on a cliff hanger!

Who do you think she's gone after?

comment and vote let me know what you think,

lots of love xxx