How can I live without you (Sequel to Simon FanFic - Sleeping with the enemy)

Hostile

Once you and Cameron had pulled yourselves together, you climbed in bed and cuddled until he fell asleep. You didn't go down for dinner, neither of you were hungry. You were unconsciously playing with Cam's hair when there was a knock on the door. You didn't respond but whoever it was walked in anyway.

"I brought you some food" Negan said holding a tray. Your blood boiled at the sight of him, you couldn't believe he had the nerve to let himself in like nothing had happened. You were so angry you couldn't speak, and with Cameron laying on you, you couldn't move either.

"Get you" you hissed, he looked hurt but not surprised, he sighed and placed the tray down on the sofa before turning towards the door. He stopped just before he closed it and turned to you.

"I'm sorry" he whispered, you wanted to launch yourself at him,

"Don't!" you snapped, he left the room defeated. The smell of food woke Cameron, he was hungry after all. You let him eat, it made you smile, knowing he was going to be okay. 

"Hey kid I'm going to get some air, you coming?" you asked Cam, he shook his head as he climbed back into bed yawning.

"I'm tired" he whispered "Will you wake me when you're back so I know you're okay?" you body felt warm and fuzzy at his concern, you kissed the top of his head and promised to wake him when you returned. 

You left the room and started walking towards the stairwell, when Heather called you name and ran up to you. She pulled you into a big hug.

"I was looking for you" she explained "Negan wants to speak with you" 

"Does he" you scoffed "Tell Negan to go to hell" and you stormed off, heading for the rooftop. 

You sat against an air vent, allowing the dusk breeze to tease your hair. The sky was beautiful, a mix of pinks and oranges as the sun set. You weren't sure how long you were up there, but eventually he found you. He sat beside you and you shuffled further away, refusing to look at him, being so close to him made you feel sick. 

"Please say something" he whispered, you continued to ignore him, he sighed "He gave me no choice"

"There's always a choice Negan" you whispered, voice breaking "You didn't have to kill him"

"He betrayed me" he sighed

"So did Dwight and all he got was a few cuts and bruises" you exclaimed,

"I haven't finished with him yet" he confessed,

"You gonna kill him too?" you scoffed as tears began to fall, you didn't think you had any left. He reached out to wipe them from your cheek and you jumped up, backing as far away from him as possible.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me" you yelled "a few hours ago those hands were choking the life out of my boyfriend" He slammed his head back against the hollow metal of the air vent, making you jump.

"I loved him too!" he yelled

"You don't know the meaning of the word" you laughed "You were right, men like you don't deserve to be happy" you couldn't stop your rage "I hate you Negan, I will never forgive you for what you've done! Any friendship we had, died with Simon...now leave me the fuck alone" He was crying now too but you didn't care, when you looked at him, all you felt was hate, betrayal and regret that you had ever let him in. 

He seemed to be waiting for you to leave, but when you didn't he stood up, wiped his face with his sleeve and stormed off. You walked back over to the vent and kicked it repeatedly, letting out all the emotion inside you, before falling to the floor sobbing.

"Why did you have to leave me" you cried to the sky "How can I live without you Simon" you sobbed "What am I supposed to do now" you felt lost and empty, you had left your life at Hilltop behind for him and now he was gone, you weren't sure what to do anymore, or how a daily routine worked without him.

As soon as night fell, you slumped back inside. You pulled on another of Simon's shirts for bed and kissed Cam's cheek to wake him. His eyes flickered open and he smiled before snuggling into you. 

"Goodnight" he whispered,

"Goodnight buddy" you replied, holding him close.

You woke up early as usual, woke Cameron to tell him you were going to make breakfast, you didn't want him to just wake up and find you gone. You didn't bother to get dressed changed of Simon's shirt as you didn't think anyone else would be up and about at such an early hour. You made your way down to the canteen to boil some water. You took your time, knowing Cam would have fallen asleep again anyway. 

The door opened and Heather walked in,

"Couldn't sleep?" she asked, jumping to sit on the counter beside where you were working.

"No" you sighed "I had Cam with me, but the bed still felt so empty without him H" you felt a lump in your throat but refused to cry anymore. 

"I know"she whispered looking at you sympathetically, you hated that look, you knew that was how everyone was going to look at you. 

"I just don't know what I'm going to do without him" you confessed,

"You're strong" she reassured, jumping down and pulling out 2 bowls to join you in making porridge "You will get through this" you heard what she said but were too focused on the extra bowl in her hand. She saw you looking and turned her gaze to the floor, you knew it was for Dwight, and she knew he should be dead to and felt guilty that she still had him and you were alone. You continued to make porridge in silence. "Sorry" she whispered before disappearing with her breakfast. 

You sprinkled some cinnamon on top of Cam's before hiding the bottle again. You were walking back up the stairs, bowl in each hand when you heard him.

"Well Damn" Negan exclaimed "That is a very nice view first thing in the morning" you felt sick, you couldn't believe he had resorted back to his usual self so quickly, you had seen him cry only a few hours previous. The man was a psychopath. 

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Hey guys, sorry its a short on, got so many ideas for future story-lines though this is just a filler.

please comment and vote and let me know what you think.

lots of love xx