Better Off (Lil Peep)

Chapter 37: Living?

Gus' POV

I awoke, remembering that I took way too much. I expected to be in that stupid hotel room, instead, I was greeted by harsh white lights in my eyes, and the sound of chatter nearby.

"Gus? GUS!" It was Samara's voice. My vision blurred, and slowly but surely, her perfect face shifted into focus.

"Samara- where, where am I?"

"The hospital- Gus, you died. You were dead." She was visibly shaken and crying, her makeup running down her milk white perfect skin.

"What- the xanax? Shit...I'm sorry."

"No- this is my fault, you saw me and Wicca kissing but I promise you, he kissed me- I didn't want to. I tried to tell you but you ran from me- Gus, oh god, I'm so happy you're alive." She threw her arms around me, and I hugged her back loosely, feeling weak as hell.

"I'm a fucking idiot Im sorry- I'm sorry for scaring you all. Shit." Goth came into view, with Horse, and Coldy.

"You scared us so bad- fuck I'm so glad you're okay Gus."

Seeing my friends again, I remembered it. Not caring if I died- suddenly, remembering why I wanted to be here. My friends. Samara, Goth.

Fuck was I lucky.

A doctor came in, chattering with Goth, the only one of us here who spoke Spanish.

"You're going to have to stay a few days here, he just told me they need to run a few tests and hydrate and stabilize you before they just let you go. We're gonna have to cancel the rest of this tour- I gotta put out a huge post, I'll be back, okay guys?"

"Guys I'm okay we can't cancel the tour." I insisted.

"Gus- you were dead, we have to, baby." Samara grabbed my hand and held it in hers. She was warm. I weakly squeezed her hand.

"Okay...I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Don't be..we're all just glad you're alive Gus." Horse added in, plopping himself in a chair by the bedside.

I nodded, feeling tired all over again, as the doctors came in to hook me up to all the machines.

I'm so fucking lucky to be here- I'm so lucky Samara will even look at me. Gus, you're fucking stupid. You have it all and you almost tossed it all out the window. You almost fucking killed your self, stupid. Wake up and look around you. No one has this life, these friends, this girl, but you. Don't forget it. Don't let it slip away. Stop taking fucking pills. You don't wanna die at 20. You're better than this.

I can't believe that I had died. They told me that I was gone, they even took me off the machines. I don't know how I survived. I don't know how I suddenly was breathing again- but I did. And I wasn't going to forget that. In some way this was a wake up call- I was meant for this life. I couldn't throw it away so easily.

Samara sat with me, even into the early hours of the morning, as the guys left one by one to head back to the tourbus. They'd be flying home in a day or two, since the rest of the tour had been cancelled.

"I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you- I'm so sorry I ran from you." I pleaded to her.

"Gus it's okay- I know the way it looked- I'm just glad you're talking to me right now. I was so scared that I lost you, forever."

"I'm here, baby and I'm still yours." I whispered, pulling her towards me, kissing her soft lips. In the moment, it seemed that nothing had ever made me feel quite so alive.

"I have a question." She asked, as we pulled away.

"Shoot."

"Are we still going to Paris? And London?" She asked hopefully.

"Baby, as long as they clear me to leave, we can go anywhere and everywhere together. I'm not wasting anymore time. I'm with you- whenever we go." And that was the truth, too. These plans weren't by any means cancelled. And fuck going back to LA. I'd arrange for our stuff to be shipped to London once we arrived. I couldn't wait for her to meet Bexey, and Rayn and Alexis, some of my very best friends.

"I don't want to go back to LA. I wanna go everywhere with you, Gus." She whispered, tracing my broken heart tattoo on my cheekbone.

"We will, babygirl, I promise. I wanna do everything on earth with you, I love you." I whispered back.

She smiled, with tears in her eyes, I wiped them gently as the slipped out, falling onto her perfect cheeks. She giggled and it was the most beautiful sound to my ears.

She slipped into the hospital bed with me, and I held her. From now on I would trust her, with all of my heart. This girl was my home, and I was going to show her that, with every last day that I had on this earth alive.

AUTHORS NOTE: soooo hey guys, don't hate me. Gus is alive and well in this book. I'm gonna be finishing it up pretty soon, so stay tuned. THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL!!! thank you so so sooo much for 2K reads, I feel so blessed. Let me know what you guys want next besides the sequel. I've been having writers block on the Post Malone book but I'm still gonna be writing more stuff. Only a few more chapters left of this!! LOVE YALL