Better Off (Lil Peep)

Chapter 25: The First Show (& Party)

Gus' POV

It's night one and shits already insane. The crowd is hype in Portland, most of the guys have gone on and it's almost time for me to go onstage. I'm nervous like I always am. I'm standing side stage and I can feel myself start to get sick. I grab a trashcan and I full on puke into it. Nerves, man. I feel better after that, this is going to be one hell of a night.

Coldy exits the stage with Goth and both their energies are high, I love it.

"Partttttyyyy tonightttt." I hear Goth slur into my ear

I'm getting ready to take stage. I see Layla in front. I see Samara perched on the edge of the stage taking photographs. I step out into the light, with HorseHead beside me and Luca behind us doing the DJ set. I feel strangely at home, we start to play Regrets together, I'm signing and all I feel inside me in warmth and light. The fans in the crowd know every word.

Horse leaves the stage after we finish playing "Girls" and I start the solo portion of my show with "Hellboy" then "Nose Ring" and so on. The crowd loves me, they practically try to drag me down there with them. I love it. I don't ever really get tired of performing live. My all goes into it.

By the end of the set, I'm sweating- I move close to Samara so she can get the best shots of me. She's on her knees, tilting the camera up at me. She's staring at me and she looks so fucking hot but that's not even remotely what I should be thinking of in this moment. I prance closer to the edge of the stage- my emotions are starting to take over when I play "Walk away as the door slams" I'm half on the ground, nearly sweating and crying into the mic. The crowd has slowed down but they're still in it. Everything is fucking perfect. I'm half crying because I'm singing as loud as I can and because of all of this- this dream, this tour- I stare at Layla while I sing. That's who I should be focused on.

When the show ends, I find myself dawdling backstage, nervous that someone noticed me staring at Samara. I never understood why I did that but she was undeniably attractive. She was my best friend though and that kind of made it weird considering Layla was here on tour with me.

I remember Goth saying something about a party and I asked eagerly.

"Wicca rented the Penthouse suite at the best hotel in town! It sleeps like 15 people. A bunch of the friends from LA came out to party and support us after night one! Most of them were in the crowd. Can't believe he planned all this!" Goth was overexcited.

And right fully so. Giant hotel party? I think yes. We all headed back to the bus, giddy as ever, whooping excited and punching the air.

Wicca closed the us door behind us and we all whooped even louder.

"Best. First night ever! Good job tonight guys! Are y'all really to party? Cause guess who else is?" Wicca announced. We heard a knock on the bus door, and in came lederrick, yung cortex and his girl Bella McFadden (Layla's best friend), nedarb, smokeasac, Tracy, Haylie, and even Coldy's girl Luna.

There was copious amounts of screaming and hugging and reuniting within the next few minutes that couldn't quite be contained.

"How did y'all get here? This is amazing!!" Layla piped up. Her and Bella were already deep in convo by now.

"We all pooled together on our own bus thanks to Smoke." Ned added, elbowing him in the ribs.

I hugged my brothers tight, it was so good to see them. Especially lederrick, who I hadn't seen in maybe a few months, since the start of the summer when we were last working on shit together.

"Alright alright, so- where's this hotel?" Luca asked amongst the chaos.

"Down the street. It's going to be high profile. Cmon guys, it's 11:39, let's roll out!" He announced.

Upon arriving at The Dossier, it reminded me of our own adventures in hotels in LA. It felt welcoming. We checked in anxiously, locking up the buses.

Coldy was bringing in bottles and bottles of liquor with Horse, Ned had party favors up the wazoo and of course, smoke brought beer. What was a party without beer, I laughed to myself.

In addition to all of our friends, other people started showing up. Fat Nick came through, with Pouya in tow, some of my brothers. I welcomed them eagerly into our abode. Of course, Nick brought lean with him, as always. I didn't quite feel fucked up enough yet, and at my own party really.

Nick poured the lean into the soda and I grinned devilishly as he handed me a double cup.
"Tonight, we rage." He said clinking our cups together. Next through the door came my buddy, none other than Post Malone. We hugged tight, it had also been months since I saw him.

"What are you doing here?" I mused excitedly.

"I had a show tonight here too man, wanted to stop by and say congrats on everything dude! I miss you!"

"thank you my dude, here get yourself a cup, I hand him a double cup and he grins. I look around the party and things are beginning to get wild, just how I like it. I can't see Layla and my heart starts to thump. She's probably in the bathroom or something I don't doubt it.

Minutes later she's at my side. "Hey Peepers" she's clearly coked out or something and I wonder who had the coke.

"Coke?" I asked.

"Bellaaa." She pointed half way across the room at her, and I grinned.

"Take me.." I whimper to Layla. She giggles and grabs my arm as we make our way across the room.
Everything is perfect. Samara is drinking with Wicca, Goth and Ned are half passing out on one another, Smoke is passing a blunt to Horse, Yung Cortex is Djing, Posty is in deep convo with Luca and lederrick. Luna and Bella are right by Samara and everyone's having a fucking blast. Suddenly the door knocks. It gets awkward for a moment because everyone is already here.

Horse opens the door just as Bella and Layla take me into the bathroom.

"Russ?" I hear someone say.

My heart drops into my stomach.

Fucking Russ.