Better Off (Lil Peep)

Chapter 6: Coffee & Henessy & Lil Peep

Luca's POV

It was 8 am and I was somehow alive. I had slept maybe an hour and my brain raced. I replayed the track. No. Wrong. I was frustrated and angry at myself as I pulled my headphones off. I needed to cut myself a break and grab a coffee.

I headed downstairs to Jett's, for my usual, straight up Americano. As I entered I saw Goth and Samara in a booth. They were laughing and clinking their coffees. I ordered my drink and slid into the booth.

"Luca!" Samara grinned and hugged me. She was obviously happy to see me. I was slightly taken aback, only because of how sleep deprived I was.

"Hey, Mar." I grinned at the nickname I had just given her.

"You look like hell- what's up?" Goth chimed in.

"Long night dude- I know you know the feels, when you just can't get the shit to sound how you want." I tugged at my mane and sighed as Lia (our barista friend) brought me my drink.

I blew on it eagerly and sipped, not caring about burning my tongue. Straight caffeine to my system and I might make it through this day.

Mar watched me from the corner of her eye looking concerned.

"Even artists need rest!" She insisted. I shrugged.

"I'll suffer for my art then I guess." I chuckled and goth chimed in.

"What's everyone doing today?" Goth glanced at the both of us.

"I'm exhausted- but my day is open."

"Got no plans, let's make some?" Samara smiled.

"Hell yeah. I'm headed to Gus' apartment, we're gonna fuck shit up." He chortled.

"Fuck..shit up?" I questioned.

"Get high, hang out." I clarified. She was sweet and hardly innocent but sometimes didn't catch on right off.

"Sounds perfect." She beamed.

"Let me go get ready? I'll be down in an hour. Gotta shower and stuff." She bounced up from the booth as I moved out of her path.

"So do you like her?" I pressed, sitting back across from Goth. I had no idea what his intentions were. I wanted to know.

"Yeah dude she's amazing."

"No I mean do you like her?" I spat. There was a hint of anger in my voice and my fist clenched. I relaxed for a moment realizing there was no need.

"Dude. Not like that. I see the way you look at her. I'm not a part of this big picture here. I see it all. But Sami and I, were tight." His words hit and I felt the sincerity within him.

I came back down to earth for a moment, and offered an apology. The things lack of sleep made me do, I sighed.

"I adore her. Whether it's as just a friend or more- I'm just worried." I sighed.

"About? She's doing great here already. And you're doing great dude. You'll be a part of GBC soon and it's all going to fall into place. Trust me. I know." Goths words were soothing, I felt reassured.

" you're right, dude. Thank you. And thank you, for being a good friend to her. She needs it."

I slugged the rest of my lukewarm Americano and tossed my cup into the trash. We sat and waited for Samara. I thought of the future, if only months away.

Putting out more music. More shows outside of LA. Collaborating with Tracy soon. Being inducted into GBC. It was all so close. It was why I had been pushing myself so hard.

I pictured Samara on my arm, I pictured myself a part of the clique. I pictured the happiness and dreams and it all felt so close I could nearly taste it.
Until I snapped into reality. I needed to focus on my work and not in Samara.

I wanted her and there was no denying it but I needed to get into GBC before I let myself fall too hard. I didn't want to stray from this. I'd put too many months and too much work and I was too invested with these guys as my brothers, to quit.

It will all fall into place. Goths words stuck with me.

I sighed as I pulled myself from my head. Today was not a day to be worried, but to be free, above all else.

Samara came downstairs again, she was dressed casual but still cute as ever.

"If it's meant to be, dude, it'll be." He whispered to me. He was right.

We were only eight blocks from Gus' apartment, the sidewalks rushed with art and life, we walked slow. There was no need to hurry. The day was young and we had nothing so vastly important to rush us there.

I popped two xanax while no one was looking- it was no secret that I wasn't clean anymore, I guess. Neither was Goth or Samara but it wasn't something I presented so easily. Much like Samara I was private about it.

I felt my pain and anxiety unfold within and I felt the rush of calm, the reassurance of my best friends by my side. We arrived at Gus' with the promise of an open day, as he invited us into his small cave like apartment.

I had not been here in what seemed like a little while. Gus lived here, mostly alone, but also with Emma, who was constantly around and then not around and then around again. His soulmate, in a sense, but she was fiery and could not be tamed. Him either for that matter. They were a swirling ball of chaos most times.

It didn't surprise me that Emma seemed to be gone again, and I wondered what if was this time. Sometimes it was about the girls- sometimes about the drugs. Sometimes it was about herself.

Goth touched my arm.

"He really needs us today."  And I knew being here was more than just hanging out.

"Who's ready to fuck shit up?" Gus smiled deviously, his eyes only small slits. He was clearly half gone already, as he raised the fresh bottle of Hennessy in his tattooed hand.

I smiled and in this moment, I remembered, this is what friends are for.