Better Off (Lil Peep)

Chapter 7: Monopoly & The Club

Samara's POV

I'd never thought I would be here. Here in L.A., here alone. These people in the room around me- it felt like I had somehow known them my entire life. I was sitting by the window, smoking a cigarette, and asking into the sill. It was grey and dismal in the streets, but in here, we were more than alive.

Gus sat on the floor, fixing the blunt in his long, tattooed fingers, laughing at Goth and Tracy who were imitating someone or something, I watched them so carefully and I laughed. I admired for no reason, the way that Gus sat on the floor even though he was in his own home. He sat cross legged and sparked the blunt, handing it over to me.

"She's fucking pretty, guys. How did we find her again?" His words made me go redder than I wanted to and I tried to not look at anyone.
Luca was on the floor beside Gus and he looked completely un thrilled at his comment.

"She is. We're lucky, the universe- and Luca, brought her to us." Goth saved the almost awkward situation quickly. Tracy kept his mouth shut somehow.

Was Goth the only one in the room who didn't want me? I thought carefully about each and every one of them around me- and about Wicca too, who wasn't even here.
All I really wanted was friends.

"What is really lucky," I began "is that I have you, all." And I meant those words something fierce. Whether they fawned over me or not, they were truest friends I had ever had.

"Were all on top of the world guys, let's not forget it." Goth grinned. He was mostly speaking to Gus, I knew.

Gus had this strange sad about him that I didn't know how to place. He was an absolute mixture of happy and sad all at once when he looked at Tracy. I swear I saw him tearing up.

"To us. We're all gonna live forever, baby." His words were dripping in nostalgia as he raised his cup, as we all did.

Luca stared at me from across the room as I caught Gus and Goth stare at one another. I felt the elephant in the room and I glanced at Luca then glanced away again.

Tracy left the room and he returned with board games in his arms.

"Okay, pick." He grinned.

"Monopoly" we all basically yelled.

"I'm going to kick your ass, Trace." Gus rubbed his palms together, giving him a devious look. I watched him pour more purple drink, he was never ever shy about it, and he passed his cup to Goth almost immediately.

"Nah dude you're goin down." I loved seeing the guys get all competitive with one another.

I felt Luca's gaze on me for most of the afternoon. Several times I met his gaze but I was so shy. Gus literally kicked all of our asses at Monopoly somehow, nearly three and a half hours later. The darkness began to settle through the city, and I looked out as it unfolded.

I didn't want to sit in this apartment anymore.

"Let's go out." I said blankly, hoping it would stick somehow.

"FUCK YEAH!" Gus agreed practically jumping up off the couch. Hours ago he was sad and practically dead to the world.

We all agreed that the night was young as we left Gus' apartment and headed for the city- no car, just the five of us.

I kicked a rock along the sidewalk and I ended up at the back of the group, with Luca.

"Hey you." He whispered.

"Hey." I looked at him but he was somehow unreadable in this moment.

"Being here with you today- I just, I really enjoy being with you, Mar." he slipped his hand in mine and I flinched but I did not pull away.

"Luca I can't be with you. I can't be with anyone." I pulled my hand back suddenly. I almost felt tears brewing. I liked Luca, I did. But I didn't know anyone well enough to begin to even want to date again. It was much too soon.

"I-I'm sorry. I understand. I'll wait, if I have to. And I won't bother you until then." He did not press any further as I quickened my pace and met up with Goth. I tried to not let it phase me but Goth wasn't dumb and he could see it all over my face.

"I don't know what to do." I whispered to Goth.
He rolled his eyes, half with disgust.
"Luca sometimes doesn't know when to let things be, Samara. I know him. This isn't new." I somehow didn't want to know what Goth meant by that. All I could was nod and shrug it off.

We entered Club Hell, and the boys swiftly dipped to the bar, and ordered drinks.

"How-" I began.

"Mar, this is Megan, my sister. Megan meet our new photographer Samara." Luca introduced me. I had no idea he'd had a sister, much less a sister who was the bartender of the club.

Gus ordered me a jack and coke to start the night off, I knew I wanted to dance and I didn't care with who. I suddenly dragged him out to the floor, and began to grind up on him, as the music bumped loudly and my inhibitions left my body. I didn't care if Luca glared at me, or if he was already jealous, Gus' hands slid to my hips and I felt him move with me.

It took every bone in my body to feel like I somehow wasn't going against Goth, but I felt Gus pull me in tighter to him and turn me to face him.

"Luca, needs to stay away from you." I gave him a wide eyed look.

"Don't think I didn't see baby, I see all." He chuckled.

"Now why did you really pull me out here?" He tried me. I didn't exactly have an answer.

"I'm fucked up- and I want to have fun." I wasn't lying there. I slurred my words and nearly laughed at myself for it.

"Me too, baby. Me too."

We danced the night away, and when closing time came, I was far from anxious to walk home with Luca. I couldn't hold his hand but I somehow felt the need to go grind on Gus at the club. Good one, Samara.

The walk home was awkward, all twelve blocks, five of which, Luca and I walked alone.

"I shouldn't have done you like that and I'm sorry- I think sometimes I just get ahead of myself" I turned around to face him, surprised as he nearly bumped into me. I was short compared to him, barely meeting the top of his chest.

"Thank you- for apologizing I mean. I didn't mean to get all scared I'm just- I don't need anything right now besides friends, Luca. Not now. That isn't no and it's not yes either but just, please please don't hate me, I want us to be friends- best friends even."

And that was wholeheartedly the truth.

"So you're not into Gus?" He asked carefully.

"I'm not into anyone- I was just upset and I shouldn't have done all of that. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. Friends, then?" He put out his hand to shake. Instead I pulled him into a hug. I felt warm and safe from everything in that brief moment.

"Friends."

*AUTHORS NOTE:

Woah, this chapter is a lil all over and crazy but I hope you enjoyed! What's a story without some drama am I right? Hopefully will update more in the morning!! Please give ideas still!!