Forget Me Not (Nouis)

7th Petal: Oh gods...

I... I'm gay?

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What the actual fuck?!

After convincing Crissy and Kross for almost an hour to tell me how come I'm gay, I came home confused and defeated. They didn't explain anything. Instead, they just told me that they can't believe I also forgot about that. Like, seriously! I can't be gay!

I stormed inside our house looking for my Mum and for fuck's sake, why does it seem that every time you need someone or something is also the time they decided to disappear?! It's like they can sense you're coming for them so they'll just go and hide somewhere.

I ran on the stairs and when I reached her room, I knocked furiously.

"My, wait, I'm coming! Why do you have to- Niall? What is, you look... Pretty banged up. What happened?"

"Mum please tell me the truth and nothing but the truth... Am I gay?"

My Mum looked at me funny. Like she's saying, "The fuck are you talking about sweetheart? Why are you asking such things? I don't know about your effin' sexuality! Why don't you go to your room, meditate and ask yourself?"

And it's really what she said. Except, no cussing.

"What are you talking about sweetheart? I, I'm really not sure about your sexuality right now. Why are you asking anyway?"

I bit my lip and pulled my hair in frustration. I sighed dramatically.

"What do you mean about 'right now' Mum? And I'm asking because Crissy and Kross told me. Now please just get straight to the point and don't speak so mysteriously."

She furrowed her eyebrows and shook his head, like she's sorry for me or something. She stepped aside and motioned for me to come inside her room.

"Come inside Niall dear. I have to tell you something really important."

I'm confused as fuck right now but I decided to come in. Like I have other choice.

I sat on his bed and made myself comfortable. She closed the door and faced me. My hands are wet, I'm nervous. Sexuality is... Very important for someone like me that's in this industry. You might lose everything in one wrong move. And I have this deadly feeling that I might. Soon.

"Niall dear, you... You were gay."

It took me a few seconds to process the new information my mother just told me. I'm... Shock. Gay? Were? Were gay? Me?

"W-what do you.. Mean?"

"When you were in highschool, you were gay. In fact you had a boyfriend. Haven't you thought up until now why your brother used to hate you?"

"Boyfriend? Me? Wait. Let me clear it. So I had a boyfriend? Like a boy, as my, as my lover?"

"Yes. And have you forgotten about what your brother did to you back then?"

"No. I was actually a little creeped out when he was laughing with me on the first day I got back here from the hospital. But until earlier, I thought he hated me because I'm the reason why you and Dad divorced."

"And why do you think he blamed you?"

I opened my mouth a few times trying to say something but no words came out.

"Come to think of it. I... I can't remember."

"Well, that's the reason Ni."

"Dad... Did he really left because.. Because I was gay?"