Forget Me Not (Nouis)

40th Petal: Second chance...?

"So you think that will magically change everything?" 

I can still hear clearly how Louis said those words, full of mixed emotions; anger, frustration, relief... Negative emotions outweighed the positive emotions though, and that hurts. Of course not. Of course I didn't thought of that, that I would be forgive nso easily but I just hope.. I just really hope that... Well.

I was embraced by Crissy the moment I stepped out of my car, I guess my face shows it all. He kept rubbing my back comfortingly but nothing will comfort me. I feel worse than before. 

"What are you gonna do now?" Kross asked as we're sitting on the dining table.

I looked up at him and Crissy and shook m yhead. "I don't know..."

"What?!" Crissy asked rather in an exaggerated manner.

Kross and I looked at him wide eyed, surprised by his loud voice. It's like we're woken up from a bittersweet and kinda-calm sleep by a very loud sound.

"Sorry. I didn't mean that to be so loud. What I mean is, why are you looking so doooown? Like you'll never be able to stand up again? Don't tell me you're giving up already?" He said, still in a loud voice.

I sighed, "I don't know... I mean, I've pulled all my cards already."

"But we all know he still loves you Niall." Kross stated.

"Just because you love a person doesn't mean you will jump at every chance you get to be with them... Especially if they've already hurt you enough you're just kinda become, numb." I said, staring off in the distance.

They both sighed hopelessly. They know I've spoken the truth.

"What about the other lads? What about them? Can't they help you to win Louis back?" Crissy asked.

I shook my head while smiling bitterly. "One chance, last chance. That's all they've given me and I already used it. Damn, Liam even barely gave me his blessing."

"Seriously, what's Liam's problem with you?" Asked Kross.

I rolled my eyes at him, "Duh, of course he's angry wih me leaving them and all especially because I've hurt Louis so much."

We were all silent until Kross let out a confused groan. What now?

"Sorry. I just, don't know...  kinda don't like this Liam lad." He said.

I rolled my eyes again and immediately defended Liam. "What did he do? He's a good lad I swear. He's just angry and he have a perfect reason for being so."

"Whatever." He muttered.

"Y'all should go now though. It's getting late." I said after a moment. They looked at me, unsure.

"Are you okay by your own?" Asked Crissy.

"Of course, silly. I'm just really tired."

They looked at each other before nodding. "Okay we'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure."

They said their goodbyes and left and now I am all alone in solitude and sorrow. How pitiful of me. I walked around my house and again realized how big this house is for me and struck by the truth that I am so alone. I laughed, yes alone, quite hysterically because of how pathetic I am right now.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

Hmm... I looked around and found a piece of crumpled and torned paper with a so used pencil it's almost just 4 inch long beside it. I quickly shuffled to get it and saw that the crumpled paper is blank on the other side, this will do. I made myself comfortable sitting on the floor while writing.