Gundham Tanaka x Reader One Shots - DISCONTINUED.

Suffocating

(Beautiful artwork above is not mine)

Aaaayyye everyone~ I just got a power chain on my braces today, ugh not fun...having braces in my 20's makes me look way younger lol. Hope you all are having a snazzy day~

This was requested by XsimplyfangirlX, thank you so much for requesting! You wanted angsty as possible so I hope I got this right!

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DEPRESSION, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE. DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED.

You know those stories you read where someone falls for their best friend but they don't love them back? That's basically you in a nutshell. Or at least that's how you feel right now anyways. You're childhood friend Gundham Tanaka The Ultimate Breeder has captured your heart and will selfishly never give it back. Of course he doesn't know this and he never will. Unfortunately for you, he already has someone else, is already in love, is already happy. Sonia Nevermind The Ultimate Princess. Obviously he would choose a princess. She's a tall pretty blonde and that's what all the guys want right?

You sighed as you looked at your reflection, your brows furrowing at it. 'I'm disgusting.. No wonder he never noticed me as nothing more than a friend... Sonia is beautiful, perfect and I'm....a nobody..'  You were currently gripping onto your wrist tightly as blood gushed between your fingers that were so tightly holding your wound. Your flesh was slippery as the open wound was deep and burning, your bloody razor in the once white sink. Your E/C eyes glanced down to the scarlet mess you created before you felt this sudden urge to cough.

As you did, it felt even worse as something was forcing its way up your throat and into your mouth. Wanting to gag, you dry heaved and what came out of your mouth terrified you. "No.." You heard of this illness, but you didn't think it was actually true. As you coughed again, wheezing trying to get a breath in, bloody red flower petals lay in your sink and in your scarlet stained hands. 'Why...How?'  Then you knew instantly as you lightly squeezed the soft petals that stuck to your hands. 'Gundham....I love him, but....He loves Sonia...'  Your eyes stung knowing that you were indeed in a one sided love, that you will never have who you want. It hurt more than anything, more than these petals trying to suffocate you.

Quickly cleaning up your wounded wrist and your bloody sink, you wiped the small traces of blood from your lips before you took a shower trying to let the hot water relax your trembling body and racing thoughts. 'So, it really is true....this disease, Hanahaki really does exist..'  As you stood in the water letting the shampoo run from your H/C hair, you ended up having another painful coughing fit watching as more bloodied flower petals dropped from your mouth, your lungs feeling like they were being filled with heavy sand.

'I can't breath well...what if this kills me?'  You felt your eyes roll as a 'tch' escaped your lips. 'Does it even matter? Watching Gundham and Sonia together every day already kills me...'  Eyeing your deep gash in your wrist you just inflicted on yourself not even twenty minutes ago you flinched as you ran your fingertips over it. 'Maybe dying is the way out of this Hell...Not like he would care anyways...'  Before you got out of the shower you used your razor yet again on your skin, your thighs being sliced as you pressed the razor blade firmly into your skin watching as your S/C flesh split in two allowing the blood to flow and disappear into the water down the drain. The flower petals were too large to go down, so you ended up throwing them out in your trash can once you were dressed.

'Why does this have to happen... Why couldn't I be his princess? I envy Sonia so much...'  You were late for school, again, but you didn't care nor did you think anyone noticed. As you walked to your class from your dorm you slowly entered your classroom sitting down, Chisa barely saying much as you took your seat. The class was divided into pairs for a project, though you told Chisa you will just work alone as no one else was available. Your eyes drifted over to Gundham and Sonia who were of course a pair, his face was a lovely shade of pink as she whispered into his ear. 'He didn't even notice I walked in...'  You felt your hand grip onto your pencil as you knew damn well you could not focus today. 'Why did I even bother to show up...'  Sonia let out a little giggle as Gundham rested a hand of his on top of hers, your heart breaking more as he gave her the affection you always craved. 'I wish he would hold my hand...Wish he would blush every time I would say something to him...'

Class was Hell, but you survived somehow. Lunch was worse. You always sat with your classmates, Gundham and Sonia right across from you as you quite literally were getting ready to snap. Sonia let out a squeal as she clapped her hands together looking right at the breeder. "I am very excited for us to hang out tonight!" Oh, your heart is ripping in half. Ow. Gundham was blushing as he nodded looking the other way slightly. "Yes my precious Dove, we shall spend all the time together that you desire." Ah, that slow tearing of your heart, man that hurts. Sonia giggled as she leaned over and kissed Gundham on the cheek, his face heating up as he tried to hide his face in his scarf. "I love you so much Gundham!" She smiled as he nodded, mumbling quietly to himself. "And I you, my beloved."

Oh okay, that's what it feels like to have your heart slowly ripped in half, stomped on then burned. Torture. Sonia turned to you, her eyes gleaming as she smiled. "Do you have any plans for this weekend Y/N? Perhaps we can hang out as well!" Gundham and Sonia, they don't even get it. They're both your friends, Gundham from your childhood, but they don't even understand that they are making you suffer so badly. "Uhm...I'm busy sorry..." You whispered, your eyes suddenly widening as you felt that heavy sand start to fill your lungs again. 'Fuck..'  You stood up and quickly left yelling that you have to go, racing to the girls bathroom making it in time just to cough up what felt like hundreds of scarlet petals. Wheezing and struggling for breath, you clenched at your sore heart as you leaned your head back against the stall door, your eyes burning from the pain. 'I can't do this anymore...'

And so you didn't. You left, moved, got the Hell out of there. You never looked back. That was the last day you were there at Hopes Peak, the last day you saw your friends. You never even went back to get your backpack, nothing. You moved away, hours and hours away, never answering your phone as it blew up with text messages and phone calls from your friends. You're a strong girl, but everyone has their limits. You grew up with Gundham since you were both babies and seeing him in love with someone else was literally killing you. There was surgery to get rid of the disease, but you couldn't afford it. This was your only way out of this Hell, this torture. You had cut open every inch of your skin on your body, your limp corpse laying in the bathtub filled with scarlet water as your grey white eyes stared up calmly at the ceiling. Ruby red soaked flower petals floating in the water around your dead body. You never listened to the last voice mail you got on your phone and you will never know it was ever there, ten minutes before you died.

'Y/N, where have you gone to!? I am very worried. Please answer me! It has been over a month, please Y/N....Have I...Have I caused this? If I have caused us to divide our paths, please let me remedy this... It's...It's been quite lonely without you... This time of your disappearance has been cursed by the Devil himself. Sonia and I have parted ways and I cannot get you out of my tortured mind...I-I fear I may have been in love with the wrong woman, for I now understand that my heart belongs to you.....Please Y/N...Please answer me..' - Gundham Tanaka.

FUCK THIS WAS DARK AND I FELT SAD WRITING IT D': I hope I made this the angst you wanted!

REQUESTS FOR GUNDHAM ARE STILL CLOSED.