Gundham Tanaka x Reader One Shots - DISCONTINUED.

Leaving Tonight

This was requested by Vivi_69_ ! Thank you so much for requesting! <3

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER HAS BLOOD, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SELF HARM. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED.

You sat in your cottage staring straight ahead at the white wall with a distant gaze. You have tried so hard, so God  damn hard to be nice to everyone, to share your interests, explain your ultimate talent as an Occultist, but you always got laughed at. Pushed aside. Mocked. Called a 'freak' or 'the weird creepy chick'. Why was acceptance so hard? Why was your talent looked down upon? You weren't evil, you were actually a very sweet girl, but did anyone give you the time of day? No. Well, Sonia thought you were a pretty cool individual with her interests in the Occult, though she rarely talked to you. 'And him..'  Gundham, your closest friend, only  friend, the man you fell in love with.

He accepted everything about you and even loved your talent. He asked you many questions that you were more than happy to answer and each time he learned something new from you, his eyes gleamed with happiness. You two often stayed up at late hours through the night texting one another when curfew hit to stay inside your dorms talking about anything and everything. He shared stories of his Deva's and their 'dangerous' adventures through Hell and back, literally.

You loved every second of it. His voice made you tremble, his eyes made you weak in the knees, his smile made you dizzy, his presence made you feel happy. That's rare these days with the constant bullying. Slowly, your eyes dropped from the wall and landed on your lap where your bloodied fingers were resting on your blood covered thighs; red oozing out of many fresh deep cuts you had just inflicted on yourself. That's when your mind began to create every single negative scenario possible. 'What if Gundham just feels sorry for me? What if he actually hates me? Embarrassed by me? What if someone dared him to be nice to me and he can't wait for me to die..?'

Your fingers curled inward into a loose fist on your thigh causing more blood to collect under your scarlet fingernails. 'I'm just a burden to him, an annoyance he feels like he has to deal with.. All I do is cause trouble.'  You looked over to see your small yet dangerously sharp knife sitting next to you on your bed, red smears on the blade and on your blanket as you slowly picked it up. You were in so much pain, yet you felt so numb to the world. "Ha! That's your talent? How the Hell did you get in this school you low life?" The voices echoed in your head of all the hurtful things everyone has been telling you the last three months.

"Did your parents pay the principal to let you get in?" You felt your hand tremble that was holding the knife as your breathing began to escalate. "How the fuck is that even a talent? You're just a creepy girl with a creepier hobby. Get the Hell out of my school no talent!" At this point you were grabbing your head and hyper ventilating, your bloody fingers grabbing at your H/C hair once the knife slipped out of your hand and landed on the floor. "Shut up.." You whispered loudly as the laughing from these bullies became so loud in your head you swore it was going to explode. "Talent-less freak!" You screamed as you slipped off your bed and onto your knees on your floor.

Your body was shaking and you could feel the blood drizzle down to your knees from your deep cuts on your upper thighs, but you didn't care. Your fingers were pulling at your hair and your eyes were clenched so tightly closed to the point where it almost hurt your head. "Let me die.." You whispered loudly as you opened your dampened eyes to look for your knife. As you went to grab it, your door suddenly opened quickly causing you to jump and look at the intruder with wide horrified eyes. You were still suffocating from your panic attack that you barely even registered that this intruder was Gundham.

He was panicked, though he kept his calm composure as he rushed over to you, crouched in front of you and gently took your blood stained hands in his pale ones. His eyes were full of concern, fear and pain as he looked over your panting and shaking form seeing your bloody cut up legs. "Y/N." He spoke in a very clear and calm voice not wanting to scare you in your already traumatized state. You looked at him like a fish out of water, oxygen was all around you but you felt like you couldn't get any air in your lungs. "You need to breath. Inhale slowly, release slowly." He gently said as he did breathing exercises with you until you calmed down enough to actually breath on your own.

He didn't have to ask what happened seeing the red drenched knife and your cut up thighs, he knew. He knew you cut yourself. He carefully walked into your bathroom and found some thick bandages before returning to your side and slowly began to wrap up your legs not caring that blood was getting on his hands. You were in a state of shock just sitting there and staring at the wall again as he treated your wounds, the silence thick with despair. When he was done wrapping both of your thighs, he set down the roll of bandages and gently took your hands in his. "Y/N, please talk to me. I must know what possessed you to harm yourself.." He was trying so hard to stay strong, but internally he was freaking out.

You gave a small shrug, dead eyes still staring at the wall. He chewed at his bottom lip before he swallowed hard running his thumbs over your knuckles. "Y/N, is this because of what those students have said to you about your talent?" You slowly nodded. He was now seeing red. These bastards drove you to harm yourself? They're going to pay. Swallowing hard again, Gundham continued to rub your hands soothingly. "I just can't take it anymore." You suddenly said quietly causing his heart to shatter. He didn't realize he was squeezing your hands as his mind was coming up with ideas to murder these assholes that did this to you. "Y/N, you are far more stronger than them. They feed on your weakness, it fuels their hatred they feel from this world which they project on those who have what they desire." You finally looked away from the wall and made eye contact with him. "No one desires me."

His eyes showed the pain his heart was feeling. He hated seeing you in such despair. "This is untrue." He replied as his eyes glanced down to your bloody bandaged thighs. You snorted. "No one wants some freak that cuts herself." He shook his head again. "You are not a freak. You possess such incredible abilities, such beauty radiates from you even with your battle scars." You blinked. Beauty? He quickly continued trying to fight off the blush threatening to appear on his face. "Everyone, even the Gods themselves carry the burdens of imperfections and imperfection is perfection. It makes you real." His voice was so soothing and his words made you hiccup on a sob as he held you close to his chest as he gently rocked you both back and forth.

"I desire you Y/N, more than anything in all the realms I've been too. I assure you you will never feel such pain again, for I will do everything I can to help you heal, my love." Through your tears you and Gundham shared a shy yet loving kiss as he wiped your tears away and whispered about how beautiful you are and how he can't live without you. "I love you.." You whispered in a hoarse voice as he hummed running his red stained fingers through your H/C hair. "And I you, my precious angel."

HOLY CRAP THAT WAS LONG D: I've been a little meh lately so I was totally feeling this one >____> HOPE YOU ENJOYED <3