Gundham Tanaka x Reader One Shots - DISCONTINUED.

Seeing Red Again

Heeeeyyyyy eurryone. Hope *Swats Nagito away* you all are having a nice ass night or day <3

This was requested by RhaelynMoore, thank you so much for requesting! :3 I deeply apologize that this was much later than I anticipated it to be! >___<

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DEPRESSION AND SELF HARM. DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERED.

The holidays have finally rolled around again and it was the time of year where you would see all of your friends, a festive get together at your home. Normally you would be excited, slap on that mask where you wore a too convincing smile to hide all of your true pain and you were actually really good at hiding how you really felt. It fooled everyone, or so you thought anyways. Your nails were constantly scratching at your arms digging into your scarred flesh and causing old wounds to break open just to smear the little red drops that oozed up onto your skin. Your once clean nails now having blood caked around and underneath them. Washing your hands multiple times to hide it was only making your skin dry. Nothing was ever going right.

Anxiously walking around your apartment, you were making sure you had everything out on the large table; snacks, drinks, festive food and candy, perfect. However, nothing was ever perfect. Clenching and un-clenching your fists, you continued to walk around double checking everything even though you knew it was unnecessary. Among your friends, your longtime crush was also coming over and that made you even more of a train wreck. You knew he would never love you, even though you were so madly in love with him. It hurt, but with your chronic depression, everything hurt. Pain was a very common feeling for you, an old friend even. As you sat down on your couch in front of your small fireplace, your (E/C) eyes focused on the orange and red flames as they lightly swayed in their own wind they created. Was everyone really your friend? Would they all really waste their time on you?

Sighing quietly your fingers found their way back to your arm as your nails began to run over the already red surface of skin. Light Dried blood was in faded patches on your skin from your open cuts, but it never bothered you. Knowing everyone would be here any minute caused your depression to plague your mind and body worse than before, forcing you to scratch even harder. Hearing multiple car doors shut and soon followed by a few voices, your heart plummeted as you jumped from your couch. Smoothing out your festive sweater and quickly fixing your (H/C) hair, you double checked your sleeves were long enough to cover your damaged arms before you sped walked to your door and opened it just as a few knocks rattled it.

Opening the door the first sight you had was Sonia's bright sparkling eyes as she squealed loudly, flinging herself at you in a tight hug. "Hello my friend! Let us get this shit on the road!" You chuckled as you patted her back stepping aside to let her and the others inside. Ibuki grinned as she walked past you holding her hand up waiting for a high five, which you gave her. "Ibuki is excited to see Y/N! You're rocking that sweater!" You smiled brightly, a pro now at faking happiness as you giggled. "Thanks Ibuki, you look great too." Akane gave you a quick hug before running off to find the food, Nekomaru nearly broke your back as he hugged you, and Kazuichi fist bumped you. You lost count at how many hugs you gave everyone, even though you were surprised they actually wanted to hug you. 'Why would anyone want to touch me...'  As you were looking down shutting your door, you didn't even notice Gundham was rather close to your side.

A small squeak from one of his Deva's made you turn to look over your shoulder, your face instantly flushing as you and him made direct eye contact. As the others ran over to the food and snacks, Chiaki turned on Rock Band causing everyone but you two to become distracted. 'They don't even care about me, they just wanted to play games...'  Looking down again, your vision caught Gundham's black boots take a step closer to you. "Y/N, are you feeling well?" His deep voice sent electric shivers right down your spine as you felt your face heat up more. "Y-Yes, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" Forcing yourself to look up at him, he had a furrow in his brow as he crossed his arms watching you like a hawk. "I have noticed your behavior deteriorating as of late and I am quite concerned." Shit. Your palms began to feel sweaty and your throat become dry. You were hiding it all so well! How did he happen to notice? 'Since when does he even pay attention to me?'  Gundham's eyes were softening as he noticed your internal struggle. You had no idea how much he cared about you, how often he would dream of you both being together, how hard he longed to be with you.