Changes

CHAPTER 9

Hey guys! This chapter is practically a straight continuation from the last chapter. Only, it goes off of the second ending. So its when Eddy went all pity-party and bitched out Kevin :3. And this IS a story revolving around mainly Eddy, but I’m going to try to put some Ed and Double D in this story here and there. But there will mostly be Eddy. I’ll actually do a bit of everyone. I’m pretty sure thats all I need to cover…. Alright. On with the story!

 

Disclaimer: (Do i even need to say it anymore?) I DO NOT OWN Ed Edd n Eddy!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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Eddy’s POV (Sorry, no Ed or DD yet ;~;)

Fuck. Fuck!

 

I slammed a pillow over my face.

 

‘God, how could I be such a fucking idiot?’ I mentally cursed myself. I grabbed the pillow from my face and threw it across the room. I sat up. The door leading to the backyard had everything, heavy enough to hold my door closed, pushed in front of it. Which, that included my weight set that my brother left in here that we never took out. My recliner that I got for christmas last year. All of my shoes. My bookshelf for my CD’s was tilted sideways, blocking the door. Pretty much anything I could find. What can I say? I was pissed. And now, I’m regretting everything because I probably just lost every friend I have. Yeah. Great fucking job, Eddy. You really screwed yourself over this time…

 

After everyone had left, and I made all of the new arrangements in my room, I just threw myself on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I looked at my stereo across the room. It was blasting a Bring Me The Horizon song. Can You Feel My Heart. Of course, I took out all of my CDs before I put the bookcase in front of my door. I was angry, not stupid. Well. Thats a lie because I was fucking idiotic. How could I have done that to anyone? I layed back down on my bed.

 

I swear to God… I like revealed everything to them. I told them I fucked with them as kids because I felt worthless. My hand drifted to the scar on my shoulder. I put my hands over my eyes and pushed down. Hard. When I saw stars, I stopped. I ran my hands through my hair. I mentally cursed myself. After I got back, and I snapped at Nazz for asking me about LA. No one asked about my time there anymore. I could have let everything go… But… Just the fact that Kevin came to me. It just made me mad. I dont even know why. I feel like an immature fucking kid.

 

“You’re just an emo little boy who tried to play in the big leagues and got shut down. You’re never going to be anything. You are just going to sit at home, wasting space. All you can do is feel sorry for yourself because of how your life turns out and its going to fuck you over in the end.”

 

I grimaced as the words bounced in my head from so long ago. And, what hurt most, was they were true. I never was going to be anything. I kept shoving away everyone away. I never will get over my past… God… Fuck……

 

I’m scared to get close and I hate being alone. I long for that feeling to not feel at all. The higher I get the lower I sink. I can’t drown my demons they know how to swim.