Gold

{16}

Taehyung felt uneasy as his back rested against the wooden frame. He flipped his body various times, tugged at his comforter and let out tired sighs.

He couldn't sleep.

Jisoo's scent was overflowing in his nose as he slept in her bed. The most annoying thing was that he couldn't leave the room, it would disturb the girls. He wanted to have a quick walk outside with a book in his hand.

But having no book he could engage himself in, he decided to check what kind of books Jisoo read. Slowly growing curious as to what her interests were. Did she like romantic books? Perhaps, drama? Or maybe humorous?

He was left with an open mouth as he saw the hundreds of physiological books against one another. They were on the shelf, arranged by the scheme of the ones she biased.

Taehyung moved his thumb against the books, the fresh scent of the pages sending him a blissful pleasure, making him lose all the weight he once had to carry all alone.

He smiled.

Peace was a far away land that seemed surreal for him, yet here he was, with a girl having him wrapped around her fingers. He was willing to keep going with Jisoo, to have her as a companion. But he chickened out every single time.

He didn't have the courage nor the ability to ask her out. To interpret her feelings. He didn't have the looks, the personality and the wealth to keep her happy. He didn't want to burden her as well with his endless traumas.

And his past.

"Tae?" A voice mumbled.

Taehyung flinched but turned around to see Jisoo in her pyjamas standing by the door, yawning as she rubbed her eyes.

"Whatcha doin?" She walked closer to him, resulting in him quickly putting her books back.

"S-sorry, I got curious," he scratched his nape.

Jisoo shook her head, "Don't be sorry, I figured it must've been new for you to sleep in someone else's bed, so I wanted to check on you. Want a cup of coffee?"

Taehyung grinned, "I'll make it."

☘☘☘

"Why the hell are you so good at making coffee?!" Jisoo whispered as she took another sip.

Taehyung chuckled, pouring himself a cup too, "My grandmother used to make amazing coffee, I observed and learned," he paused, "she never got to taste it, unfortunately." A sad look overcame his face.

Jisoo bit her lip, "I'm sorry to hear that Tae."

Taehyung smiled at her, taking a seat in front of her.

The room was dim with barely any lights. The moon shone through the windows, igniting the living room with a glimpse of its light. The moonlight did no justice to Taehyung, he couldn't see the beauty in front of him.

Being with Jisoo was starting to feel essential, he couldn't go a day without seeing her. Her eyes were so deep, he would get lost in them. Her million dollar smile made a thousand butterflies erupt in his stomach, the giddy feeling of being in love overflowing. Her comfort was one in a kind, she was the pill he needed.

"Hey Tae?"

"Hmm?"

"Why don't you ever talk about your family?" She made circles on the tip of her cup, looking down, hoping she didn't say anything stupid.

Taehyung fluttered his eyelashes, sighing as he put his cup down. He faced the window from his seat, "There's nothing to talk about them," he replied bitterly.

"Tae," Jisoo put her cup down, "you know you can't lie to me. I'm at least at that stage where I can tell if you're hiding something from me."

Taehyung took in a shaky breath before rubbing at his temples. He knew it was gonna be sooner or later that Jisoo found out about his family. He couldn't keep her in the dark anymore.

"We were never a happy family to begin with. There were no moments where we liked to see one another. Bitter sweet is the definition of our small family. I hate to say it but," he looked in her eyes, that showed true generosity, "we all hate each other."

Jisoo gasped, "W-why?"

Taehyung chuckled, blinking a few tears back, "My mother was a famous model, still is, and my dad is a business man with thousands of deals around the world. They're both wealthy and successful, standing at the top of their empires. Not letting anyone let their guard down. The only problem is," he hung his head low, "Kim Taehyung, their son."

Jisoo carefully listened to his words, letting him put his story out. It hurt her heart to see him being uncomfortable and getting saddened as he recalled whatever buffered his mind.

"I wasn't needed, Jisoo. I was just another accident on another night. They were young and selfish, fulfilling their pleasures with no signs of facing the future together. Once my father found out my mother was pregnant with me, he got furious. He forced her to take birth control pills but she refused, she said it was cruel to kill a life that didn't even make it to the world. She was happy that she was becoming a mother but her company told her they wouldn't like her to carry around a child. So, once I was born, they sent me off to my grandmother."

He continued, "I was raised under the love of my grandparents, they made me feel like I was wanted, I wasn't useless, I had some importance. I never felt like I needed my parents to continue, damn I felt like I was on top of the world with just my grandparents by my side."

Jisoo squeezed his hand, allowing him to continue, "But on a twisted road, there are always horrific accidents. So once I grew old enough to graduate middle school, both my grandparents passed away due to a fire. I wish I was there to save them, I wish I c-could help them." He let his tears flow out, letting his vulnerability stand.

Jisoo wiped his tears with her thumb, "Tae, you don't have to continue-"

"I tried to kill myself around that time."

Jisoo's hand dropped her cup, creaking noises scattered everywhere around the house. Echoes of her gasps were repeating, reminding her again and again what she had just heard. She hated the thought, she hated everything that came with the thought of Taehyung committing suicide. She wanted the earth to swallow her.

"I'm sorry, you had to listen to this." Taehyung held his head in his hands, "I don't know where to go, Jisoo." His voice was low as a whisper, a broken whisper. "I don't know where my parents are and I barely know anyone else, please, please don't leave me Jisoo," he raised his head, "You're the only person that was able to comfort me in my darkest hours, you're the only family I have."

Jisoo kicked her chair and immediately went over to his side, grabbing his shoulder to pull him towards her heated body, "I'm never ever leaving you, idiot. I'm here for you, always." His arms went around her waist as he pulled her closer, "I'm sorry you had to go through all of that alone but I promise I'll never shut you out, you're important to me. You're not alone, you're needed and wanted. You're the strongest guy I've ever met. I admire you, I really do." She whispered in a rush, her voice croaking as her tears started rolling too.

That night, they laid in each others' embrace, letting intimacy take over them without any hesitations. Taehyung felt his anxiety go away and Jisoo felt her solitude go away.