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Chapter 15: Rifts

Dean's POV

"What the hell was that?" Sam asked me, storming in from the garage.

My hands were gripping the edge of the kitchen table to avoid from shaking. I knew I over reacted. Every time Y/N was around I overreacted. The fear of something happening to her on a hunt overwhelmed me.

"We barely know this chick and you expect me to let her tag along to get Abaddon?" I asked angrily. My anger was misplaced and I was aware of that.

"I know you think you're doing her a favor by shutting her out, but you're not. Dean, that girl is out on her own again knowing very little about the big monster's she recently learned existed. If she's like any hunter I know, her first plan is going to be hunting the Starships."

My brother was angry at me for letting Y/N leave. I didn't only let her leave, I pushed her to leave. Sam was right. I knew I was doing her a favor. Being around us Winchesters tended to give a bad rep to people. Being a hunter, she didn't need a larger target on her back.

"She's been on her own long enough. She'll figure out like before."

"And what if she doesn't? What if, this time, there's no one to save her when the Hellhounds come. What if she gets in over her head and there is no one because you pushed her away."

"Oh, don't give me that crap, Sam."

I started to leave the kitchen to pack for Las Vegas. The conversation, in my mind, was finished. Sam had said his piece. He thought it was safer for Y/N to be with us. I knew better. It has never benefitted a single person to be close to us. It was better for her this way. Safer.

"She could essentially get killed because we didn't prepare her for the big bad," Sam said quietly. "I don't want that on my head."

"She could essentially get killed for even knowing us," I shouted, spinning on my heels to glare at my brother. "There's something about Y/N...I don't know, man. Maybe it's because I haven't had any action in a long time, but there's something about her that draws me in. And that's the exact reason I pushed her away. I can't drag anyone else down." My voice ended quieter than it started. I didn't know why I admitted that to Sam. That was more information than I would offer while drunk, let alone while sober.

Did I truly want Y/N to leave? No. But I knew she needed to in order to be safe. She lived as normal of a life as any hunter could. She hunted the small things that would give her a longer life than what Sam and I could offer her. I've thought it many times before...Sam and I are in way too deep with what we hunt. Yet, here we are. For some reason, we are able to still be alive while nearly everyone we have ever loved has died.