The Bachelor's Bed Games

Chapter 23: White Lies

Love. Big word. At least for most of the more than seven billion people running around Earth and most especially for Kei.

How would you define it? How would you know that you were already feeling it? How would you know if you were really in love? Were you really sure if it's love that you're already feeling?

See? It's tricky. Being in love is too strong for a word yet much more stronger for an emotion. You're not even sure if it's really love that what you're already feeling. Oftentimes, we took it for a mistake. We thought that we're already in love but our feelings were just being blinded by other emotions like sympathy, pity, attachment and even lust. It's hard to differentiate it from other emotions. There's a thin line among them that makes it hard for us to know which is which.

That's what Kei believed in. But hearing Kian say those words on her ears made her whole system tingle in delight. The words felt so divine coming off his lips. But being the skeptical woman she was, she did not belived him.

She did not answer. Instead, she kept her face buried on his chest. She heard him expel a heavy breath before she felt him kiss her hair as he pulled her closer to her. His arms gently confining her body was really putting her into serenity despite the storms of thoughts devastating her mind and heart.

"Kei?" he gently called.

"Hmm?" she answered, keeping her eyes close.

She felt him sigh again. "Hindi ka na naman sumagot," he murmured against her hair. "Every time I tell you something as serious as this or every time I tell you my true feeling, you always opt not to answer," he said, no accusation heard from his voice but pure statement of facts.

"Do I need to answer every time you tell me something?" she asked carefully.

He shrugged. "I don't know," he uttered. "But at least say a word, even just it's only an okay, so I would know that you acknowledge what I said."

"I don't know what to say," she murmured against his chest.

"As I said, okay will do. You don't have to say that you feel the same way towards me. I just want to know that you believe what I told you."

"You're demanding."

"Whatever it takes for you to believe me."

"How can I do that if you yourself are not sure on what you truly feel?" she questioned referring to his choice of words in his confession.

I think I am in love with you, she heard him say inside her head. Focus on the word THINK. He's not certain of his feelings. He might just be confused by his strong desire for me.

When he did not answer she smiled sadly. See, Kei? He's not really sure on what he feels, she told herself.

"Sige nga, how can you say that you are really in love with me?" she asked after a few minutes of silence.

For the third time, he inhaked deeply. "I don't know. That's just what I feel. And it felt right to say it," he retorted truthfully and in all honesty.

Kei shook her head. Disappointment rushing over her. "You're not really in love with me, Ki. It's just the aftermath of a mind blowing sex that's why you said that," she spoke. "Let's sleep."

"Okay."

Okay? Okay lang ang sasabihin mo? You won't even defend yourself to me? Kei asked herself in frustration when Kian did not mumble anything anymore. She felt irritated. But she did not know if it was because of Kian or it's because of herself.

She scrutinized his face and when she saw that his eyes were close, she assumed that he was fast asleep. Gano'n siya kapagod? she asked herself incredulously. Sabagay, he was a bit drunk when he came here.