chapter 9 ~ perfect

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I've always had insecurities I can't think of a time when I've had none I always tried to fit in but the popular kids made it really hard for me

Allassandro hasn't said a word since I told him that I'd intentionally starve myself maybe he's finally getting some sense and thinking of a way to reject me I wouldn't hate him for it the future alpha deserves the best there is and I'm not the best

"Ruby"he sighed here it goes "you are perfect the way you are, I love how chubby your cheeks are l love your oval face and your body and you should too, don't try to change for anyone"

Huh? What? did he say ruby you're perfect or ruby I'm perfect I think he said Ruby I'm perfect yeah that's it

"Other guys like skinny girls" I said in a whisper

he reached for my chin and brought it up so that I was staring in to his eyes his big brown eyes it felt weird staring right into his eyes but I just couldn't pull away I felt as if I did I'd suffocate but I did when the door bell rang

"lay down" he said

he got up to answer it
I wonder who is at the door

Ten minutes later

He came back and took my hands "come on follow me" he led me into the dining area the table was filled with lots of delicious food
Chicken, fish, Chinese food, pizza, fruits and that wasn't all

Where did it all come from?

We took a seat at the table
"Eat ruby" he said gesturing towards the food I was about to then I noticed he was watching me
He smiled then got up and walked away he was no longer in sight, where did he go?
My focus was turned back to the food l started eating some fruits I still didn't want to eat that much so I mostly ate some fruits I took up some of the food and disposed of it making it look like I ate, the table still had a lot of food on it but surely he wasn't expecting me to eat all of it..

He came back after a couple minutes had passed
"Did you eat" he asked

"Yes"

"But it looks as if nothing was removed from the table"

"That's because there was a lot of food there " I muttered not looking up at him
"Do you feel better now"

"A little.... thanks.... for the food but I can't eat it all" I mumbled

"That's okay let's get you in bed so that you can rest"
"I can walk...thank you" he ignored me and proceeded to lift me
"Stop" I shouted
"What's wrong" he asked
"I want to walk, really I'm feeling much better and I'd rather walk"

I don't want him to carry me he'll probably strain with me or maybe when he lifts me he'll feel the fat flabs on my back
Wait oh my god who carried me to the couch did he carry me!?
Suddenly I wave of self consciousness hit me and I find myself trying to get away from his gaze

I walked up to my room with him following closely behind me
I wonder if he can see my flabs

Oh god I need to get him out of here

"Thanks again.... For.. helping me" I muttered as soon as I walked into my room

"Don't thank me its okay I'd do anything to ensure you're okay"

I smiled trying to show him that I'm okay

"Wow would you look at that smile...beautiful you should smile more often I love your dimples"

I'm not beautiful can't he see, he's just saying this because I'm his mate I gave him a fake smile in response

"Would you like to rest now or would you like me to help you to take a shower"

"No!! I mean I can do it I feel much better now thanks for all your help you don't have to stay here any longer cause I'm fine, my mom will be home soon anyways" I lied she'll probably be home late but he doesn't know that

He gave me this look maybe he knows that I'm lying but doesn't push it

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay and wait until your mom comes"

"No I'm okay you've done a lot already I'm fine" I lied again but this time I tried really hard to keep my heart rate normal so he'll think I'm telling the truth

"Okay... I'll see you at school tomorrow" he said

"I'm not g-- okay see you tomorrow"

"Okay" he opened his mouth to say something else but the words didn't come out instead he smile and came towards me

My heart was beating faster and faster with each step he took he leaned over and kissed me on my cheek my heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode I felt heat creeped up my kneck

He walked out and I let out a breathe that I didn't realize that I was keeping in

I touched the spot on my cheek that he kissed but as soon as my finger touched it I quickly pulled away
What am l doing?
He's just doing and saying all this because of the mate bond
I'm not good enough for him I'm fat and ugly

If we weren't mates he wouldn't even give me a second look

Tears fell from my eyes

Not one single thing about me was perfect

I wandered into the bathroom to take a shower
I stripped and stepped in and turned the shower on

Slowly I slide down against the wall letting the water wonder around all over my body

I found my mate

Thinking about how perfect he is reminds me of how imperfect I am he deserves a beautiful mate with beautiful eyes and nice body with a flat stomach not me with all my imperfections

I don't want him to suffer by having a mate like me

Maybe I should try killing myself

He'll get a second chance mate I'm sure of it even if he doesn't he can pick anyone of those beautiful girls out there

I should do it ......

My mom slipped into my thoughts I can't do this to her I don't want her crying over me I don't want her hurting

What should I do?

I got up to finish my shower

I treaded to my closet and quickly got dress in a hoodie and some tights

The fruits must've helped a bit because I don't feel all that dizzy anymore

I walked out and got back into bed I looked around for my phone and found it under the pillow I took it out and went on wattpad to read maybe it will take my mind off of all as allassandro....

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