Solby | Give Me Love

12. Liability

Idk why I decided to title every chapter with a song title bc it's kinda hard but title coming soon lmao :') Enjoy (:

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   "Hey, panini head, are you even listening to me ?"

   Sam speaks in a playful tone, hoping to ellicit a laugh from his best friend, and it works. Of course Colby's listening, it's all he's done for a while now. He's naturally quiet and a good listener but paying attention to what Sam's saying is what manages to get him out of his own head. Besides, he feels bad. Everything's been all about Colby lately, and he knows it, although it's not even his intention. Sam deserves attention too and Colby wants to make sure the blonde's got all of his.

   Sam parks in front of the familiar building, turns off the engine and turns to his best friend, worry spread across his features.

   "Do you really wanna do this ? We can still go home."

   Colby nods his head, smiling thankfully at Sam, but the blonde's not convinced.

   "Are you sure ? Because we're gonna be jumping around and it's gonna be exh-"

   Colby quickly puts his hand on Sam's shoulder, cutting the boy off in a voice as reassuring as he can.

   "Sam, I'll be fine."

   Colby doesn't even know he's lying until not even a half hour later when he finds himself sat in a corner of the super-trampoline park, hidden from everyone. He's trying to catch his breath as quickly as possible, his heart thudding in his chest. He doesn't have much strength left and he feels like passing out.

   Sam, who's just dived into the foam pit after throwing an impressive backflip he's just learned how to do, pops his head out, chuckling. He accepts the hand Corbin's offering him and they high-five before joining Elton in the center of the room.

   Then he notices Colby's absence.

   Last time Sam's seen him, the brunette was casually jumping on the trampoline and now he's gone.

   Instantly, fear creeps in as Sam frantically looks around him, then he stops himself and tries his best to act casual. There's no doubt that the last thing Colby'd want is for five people to freak out and look for him, it would definitely overwhelm the brunette.

   So Sam gives his friends a small smile and calmly walks to the Minecraft section, jumping from wall to wall while searching his best friend. He makes sure to look in every little corner, each of them empty.

   Where the hell could he be...

   He's about to give up on that section to head over to the bathroom, which he thinks he should've checked first, when he hears a whimper that wouldn't have been audible if the blonde wasn't so close to the source of it. He loses no time to jump down and just like he's hoped, he spots the familiar fluffy brown hair and ring-covered hands covering a face he can't see but he doesn't need to. He rushes to Colby's side, crouching down next to him before gently placing his hand on the boy's knee. It causes Colby to jump slightly, letting his hands drop as his eyes widen in surprise.

   "Hey, hey." Sam murmurs softly, trying to stay quiet. "What's happening ?"

   Colby just shakes his head, burrying his fingers in his hair as his eyes brim with angry tears. It's so frustrating to not be able to do anything, everything is exhausting to him. He came to have fun yet here is, almost crying at the fact that he's too weak to keep goofing around with his friends.

   Closing his eyes, Colby finally lets the tears fall, tired of doing his best to keep them at bay. They roll down his cheeks as though they weighed the world, or at least that's how he feels. His heart is heavy in his chest, as if it just wanted to sink down into the ground, just like his tears. A cloud of pressure is floating above his head, reminding him that he's never going to get better and that people would probably be better off without him. A cloud of lies, the bunch of lies that he repeats over and over again in his head, unaware that the words are leaving his mouth in a hushed tone and that Sam's calling him repeatedly, trying to get the boy's attention.

   But the voices are getting louder, his insecurities are kicking in and he feels like slamming his head into a wall to shut them up. His hands are pulling on his hair harder and harder while the worry in Sam's heart is growing bigger.

   Until one word reaches his ears.

   "Baby."

   The word slips past Sam's lips before he can even think about it and he catches himself off guard, almost apologizing but deciding against it when Colby finally looks up at him, a mixture of fear, surprise and defeat in his blue eyes.

   "Take deep breaths for me, okay ? You're speaking so quickly I'm afraid you're not even breathing."

   "I'm not." Colby admits, realizing how breathless he actually is.

   He instantly reaches for Sam's hands, holding them tightly in his own when he hears Elton call the both of them up. Sam quickly replies that they're coming soon and thankfully Elton doesn't push it. A few months back, the older male would've made some kind of joke about the boys making out or something #Solby-related just for fun but lately it's like he's walking on eggshells, too afraid to talk even though it's unlike him.

   Sam places his hand on Colby's cheek to force the brunette to meet his gaze and, in a slow, serious voice, asks :

   "Colby, do you wanna go home ?"

   Colby exhales deeply, does he want to ? Part of him wants to stay, to stop being such a buzzkill with his stupid problems but a bigger, stronger part screams for him to say 'yes'.

   So he does.

   And Sam nods silently, rubbing Colby's shoulder gently before getting up and reaching down to pull his best friend on his feet. Once they're both standing, they find their way out of the Minecraft maze, Sam's arm wrapped protectively around Colby while the brunette's leaning on him for support.

   When Sam and Colby come into view, Elton instantly grins at them, but his face falls when he sees Colby's tear-stained cheeks and Sam's serious expression, two things he's grown to hate seeing. Before everything started going downhill, he'd always see his two friends with a smile on their faces or hear them laugh. Whenever the pair was together, you could feel the happiness radiating from them and it was contagious. Now Elton doesn't even know if either of them remembers what true happiness feels like. They don't care about sunrises, only nightfalls, when the dark joins them and the duo turns into a trio, reunited because of Colby's destructive thoughts and distress.

   It's sad, and for some reason it's the only thing that makes Elton feel helpless. Plus he doesn't live with them anymore, although he's started crashing on their couch more often, much to the whole house's suprise because who would've thought Elton and Corey would agree on sleeping under the same roof again ? There are so many things that can go wrong while Elton's not there and that's what scares him.

   He just wants the best for Sam and Colby yet he sadly can't even give them that.