Solby | Give Me Love

3. Pretend it's OK

Colby wants to be mad at Corey.

He wants to blame the boy for causing him to admit to himself that Sam doesn't love him. His friend's words had echoed through his head so many times as if they were bouncing off the walls of his room.

He wants to be mad at his roomate for not seeing that the situation is worse than Corey thinks, but he can't.

Because when he wakes up that morning, the first thing he feels is Sam's arms protectively wrapped around his waist. It feels like, even sound asleep, the blonde doesn't want to let go of him and, despite everything, that makes Colby's heart flutter in his chest. He squints his eyes at the harsh light seeping through his blinds and winces at the slight pain coming from his scalps. He's pulled at his hair so hard the night before, which was a contrast to Sam's delicate touch when he'd brushed his fingers through Colby's brown curls.

Colby hasn't felt at peace in so long, it's become such a foreign feeling that Sam's presence next to him has somehow brought back. It's scary, how one person can own the reigns of your emotions.

As much as he wants to stay in Sam's embrace forever, it's just a matter of time until one of the roommates comes knocking on his door to ask for help to clean the house. That's an agreement they have, whenever they throw a party at the Trap House, all the roommates have to give a hand the following morning. So he props himself up on his elbows and gently shakes his best friend awake while whispering his name softly. His throat is dry and his voice cracks, but he doesn't care.

Sam shifts a bit before his eyes flutter open, but he soon closes them again, ready to go back to sleep as he pulls Colby back towards him. A small chuckle escapes the brunette's lips as he shakes his head.

"Sammy, wake up. Time to clean the house."

Sam groans, bringing one hand to his face to rub at his eyes, it's obvious he didn't sleep as much as he usually does.

"Do we really have to ?"

Colby slowly nods his head, a faint grin on his lips. "We do."

At first Sam doesn't come to the realization that he's in Colby's bed, cuddling the boy the way he'd cuddle a lover. Maybe he's too tired, maybe he doesn't care. However, he doesn't have time to think about it as a pair of footsteps are heard from the hallway. From the sound of the knock on a door, the person's gone to Sam's first and it's not going to take long until they find out his room is empty.

Letting out a grunt, Sam unwraps his arms from around Colby's waist and slides out of the bed. He stretches his arms up, yawning and walks over to the door, opening it just as Jake's about to knock on it and smiling at the youngest of the house.

"I was coming to get you guys so that we could start cleaning as soon as possible."

Sam ignores the slightly supsicious look Jake gives him and he just nods his head, telling him they'd be down in a few. Jake breathes out a 'okay' and disappears down the hall. Sam turns towards Colby once their roommate's footsteps have faded and he leans on the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest as he watches the god that is Colby climb out of bed. The smile that's grown on his lips vanishes quickly though, once he notices how skinny the boy is. So skinny it makes Sam sick to his stomach. It looks like his best friend hasn't eaten in days, which reminds Sam that he hasn't seen Colby without a shirt in a while. Ususally the boy would just lay around shirtless.

How have I not noticed ?

The question rings through Sam's mind as he bites down on his lip, deep in thoughts. Colby's voice snaps him out of his trance minutes later and the blonde realizes his friend is now standing right in front of him.

"Is something wrong ?"

Sam blinks a few times, confused but quickly composes himself and flashes Colby a smile.

"No, no. Let's just go downstairs."

Colby raises an eyebrow at his blonde best friend but nods nonetheless, following Sam out of his bedroom, after pulling a hoodie over his head, and down the stairs. Once they see the ground floor area, their jaws drop. It's way worse than they thought it was.

   "Well, the sooner we start, the sooner we'll be done."

   Colby quietly laughs at Sam's attempt to cheer the both of them up and they decide it's time to start.

Throughout the morning Sam keeps stealing glances at Colby, noticing how weak the boy looks. Every move he makes seems to be taking so much from him, and at one point Sam can't take the sight anymore. He grabs Colby's wrist and the brunette doesn't even have time to protest as he's dragged out of the house. Hands are placed on his shoulders once the two boys find themselves in their backyard and pairs of blue eyes find one another, each expressing different emotions.

"Colby, when's the last time you slept ? Or ate a full meal ?"

Sam takes in the sight of Colby's dark circles under his eyes and his chest tightens. Colby's shoulders feel too bony under his hands and he realizes how blind he's been, he kept telling himself that Colby just loved hoodies. If only he hadn't been so naive.

   "Talk to me."

Sam's eyes are pleading, his voice begging. He hates Colby's silence and the way he adverts his gaze. It's like he can feel him slowly slip through his fingers and it's killing him.

"Please."

For a moment Sam feels like he's convinced Colby, like the brunette's about to open up.

Sadly all his hopes crash down when the boy closes off, weakly getting out of the blonde's grasp and wrapping his arms around his own body as if to protect himself from his best friend.

Sam's heart crushes at the gesture, he could never hurt Colby.

"It doesn't matter, Sam."

Sam opens his mouth to retort but Colby cuts him off in a murmur.

"I don't matter."

And he walks back inside, leaving the blonde on the grass, thoughts swirling in his mind and darkness filling his heart.