Solby | Give Me Love

14. I'll Be Good

The duo walks into the mansion, chatting as their voices fill the silent house with joyful words. They naturally climb up the stairs and make their way to Colby's room. They plop down on the bed as their laughs die down and for once, they keep their hands to themselves, laying on their back and staring up at the white ceiling.

"I'm overwhelmed." Sam finally blurts out, causing Colby to send him a puzzled look, which leads the blonde to continue, "That's how I feel."

Colby rolls onto his side, his eyes dancing on Sam's profile as if he didn't already know each of his best friend's facial features.

"And I'm scared, for you. I want so badly for you to be okay, you know ? I care about you more than any other person on this planet, you don't even know how much I love you. And I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty, I just... I'm here for you and you need to remember that."

Colby couldn't forget that, not that he wants to. Out of everyone around him, Sam's the only one who's been by his side almost 24/7, although Colby has to admit it's because the blonde's the only person he's allowed into his room. But Sam's also the one person Colby needs. Of course he loves his friends, more than anything, but Sam is his rock. Always has been, always will be.

"But..." Colby starts in a tiny voice. "Why are you scared ?"

Sam's hands, that are resting on his stomach, clench into fists as his eyes instantly well up with tears, but he squeezes them shut, blinking the sadness away.

"I don't want to lose you."

Sam tries to keep his voice steady but fails miserably, breaking Colby's heart.

"Sam..." Colby hurries to scoot closer to Sam, before he decides to just lay on top of him and wrap his arms the best he can around the blonde.

The eating habits he's been picked on recently have caused him to lose - too much - weight and although he's aware of the fact that it's not a good thing at all, he knows that at least he's not going to crush his best friend. Sam, on the other hand, can't keep the tears at bay anymore when he feels his best friend's way too skinny body in his arms, the worry he's been subconsciously pushing away slowly increasing.

Colby rests his cheek on Sam's damp one, closing his eyes. "You're not gonna lose me. Not now, not ever."

"T-that is so easy to s-say." Sam's voice cracks as he speaks, choking out the words in a stuttered cry. "Those are j-just words."

"Words that I mean." Colby quickly replies in a pained tone. "I would never lie about it, okay ? I will get better, it's just a hard time."

Sam's usually not a blunt person, he'd always think before speaking to avoid hurting whoever he's talking to. However, fear is clouding his mind and words spill past his lips before he can even filter them.

"How could you know ? You're not seeing yourself right now, Colby. You can't see how sick you look, or how sunken your eyes are or how your bones seem to stick out. I'm watching you slowly deteriorate and it's like no matter how hard I hold onto your hand, you keep falling. It's killing me, Colbs."

Colby hides his face in the crook of Sam's face when he feels tears prick at the corner of his eyes, he doesn't want to cry. He's managed to keep everything inside for so long, he's definitely not going to let it out now.

But he's soon startled by Sam suddenly yelling "It all just sucks !" before the blonde breaks into sobs, tightening his grip around Colby. A single tear rolls down the brunette's cheek as he can do nothing but lay there and listen to the heartbreaking cries of his best friend. He knows that it's only for the better, obviously Sam's stayed strong for so long and he can't anymore, at least for a few minutes.

Corey, who's just walked up to Colby's door before the blonde yelled, stops his hand mid-air, unsure on what to do. He knows better than to interrupt the duo, but on the other hand he's sick of being left out. He wants to be there for Colby too, he wants the brunette to know that he's there for him, that if Colby ever needs to he can come to him too. He's aware that the bond Sam and Colby share is strong, meaning they'll always be each other's first choice no matter what, but Corey's their friend too. One of their best friends. They shouldn't shut him out.

His shoulders falling, he slowly turns around and quietly walks away, turning the corner when he bumps into Jake who's tip-toed to where he accidentally collided with Corey with the intention of checking on Sam and Colby. The younger boy lets out a yelp when he lands on his butt, being lighter than Corey, and immediately claps his hand on his mouth. If the two boys in the room haven't heard him, then they were definitely deaf.

Sadly they have, because not long after, the door flies open, revealing Colby, his eyes wide despite the lack of sleep making it hard for him to keep them open. Jake, still on the floor, gives him an innocent smile, waving at him.

Sam's not far behind his other half, his arms wrapped around himself as an attempt to protect himself, but from what ? Even he doesn't know. But he takes a step forward to stand next to Colby and this time, the brunette's the one who snakes an arm around the other's waist, uncaring of the fact that they aren't alone.

Their roommates don't fail to notice the trails of tears on Sam's cheek and his shaky breathing yet they decide not to point it out. They know Sam's already embarrassed to be seen in such a state.

"W-what are you guys doing ?" He asks, his voice cracking towards the end as he lays his head on Colby's shoulders. He feels as if he's been drained of all energy and although he feels bad for using the weak brunette as support, he suddenly can't stand by himself.

Both boys keep their mouths shut, even though they didn't do anything wrong : Jake wasn't even there one minute ago and Corey's stood for approximately five seconds by the door when he started walking away. Yet they can't help but feel guilty.

Instead of answering the question, Jake rises on his feet, approaches the pair and carefully engulfes the both of them in a hug. They don't react at first, but Colby's the first to hug him back, soon followed by Sam who's more hesitant. However, the hug grows even tighter when Corey joins them, silently wrapping his strong arms around his three younger friends. He wishes he could take all their worries and fears away. He wishes the world would give them a break, let them breathe for a while. He'd keep the roof from caving in, open all the windows and let relief fly in.

F*ck, if Corey had the choice, he'd take the blows for them, the pain, the demons, the restless sleep and sleepless nights.

But he can't do anything.

•  •  •

sorry for the wait, i had exams (yay...). but i hope you like this chapter (: