Hear Your Voice // Aph Lithuania x Poland

Going Back Home

The days passed and Lithuania was allowed to get up. The doctors were slowly helping him walk again and after a week, he was able to walk by himself again.

Poland was happy to see how well his partner was doing and he hoped that soon they would go back home together. Maybe it would not be the same but at least they would be together and they would be able to support each other.

And then the day finally came, Toris was allowed to leave. For Feliks, that was the best news that he heard in weeks and he welcomed it happily.

Toris on the other hand, tried his best to hide the fear that was slowly eating him from the inside. He was so scared of what could happen.

They walked next to each other, not holding hands or speaking. Toris was still walking slower than normal as he was still getting used to standing up and moving his legs. They walked to the door that separated Lithuania from the outside world for so long. The sun was shining through the glass door as if to welcome him back into the real world. It was calling, saying that everything would be alright. Toris hesitated for a second, stopping before they managed to get to the door.

What are you doing? Toris, you idiot! It can't work. Did you think that it would be this easy? He was scolding himself in his own mind.

Poland noticed that Lithuania stopped and decided to give his partner some time.

- Don't worry. - Feliks smiled sadly. - It will all be fine. I am next to you, remember about that. - He added, coming closer to Lithuania. - Take your time. We can leave when you decide to. - He assured the Lithuanian.

Poland could not imagine what kind of dark thoughts were going through his partner's mind. It was obvious that Toris was scared that he didn't want to go out. No matter how much he would try to hide it, it was obvious and that made Feliks feel bad and guilty.

Feliks. I am doing this only for you. This is useless and we both know it. I don't want to go out I want to stay here and die. If you could only heard what I am thinking right now, if you could understand. I need you and you need me but I don't think that I can do this for long. I never wanted to leave this place but I am doing this only for you because you need it. I need to take care of you because you were too busy taking care of me. I don't need help because there is nothing that can help me. I am a lost nation, a useless personification that everyone will take advantage of. Even you won't help that. After all of the things that happened to you in the past, you know how it is to be thrown around, not cared for. This is what will happen to me and you won't be able to help me, just like I wasn't able to help you when it happened. I just closed my eyes and came back to you when it was all over. I know I could have stopped Germany and especially Russia but I was too scared. And I am scared now as well, I am scared for myself not for you.

Lithuania shook his head as if to get rid of all of the thoughts that tried to flood his head. He looked down at Poland who came closer to him. He heard everything that he said but he could not respond.

He simply extended his hand in hopes that his partner would understand what he ment.

- Do you want me to take your hand? - Feliks asked surprised.

Lithuania nodded.

Poland happily took his hand and they started walking toward the door again.

They stepped out of the building and a cool breeze his Lithuania in the face. The sun was shining in his eyes and the whole world seemed different. He started wondering when was the last time that he actually walked outside but he could not recall. Ever since he woke up from the coma, he looked out of the window only once or twice because he didn't want to see the outside world. He thought that if he saw how nice and welcoming the world actually was, he would change his mind on wanting to disappear once and for all. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trusting that Poland would guide him to the car. The air smelled fresh after a rain and the sun gently warmed his face as they walked across the parking lot.

Toris quickly opened his eyes. Tears were forming in them but he would not let them get out because Feliks was next to him. Toris did not know why he was crying. Maybe it was because of the fear that was filling his heart or because he was happy to finally be able to breathe some fresh air and see the streets, be able to walk on the ground and not have to lay in a bed all the time. The colors all seemed much brighter than he remembered them, the streets were empty because it was very early in the morning.

They made it to the car and Poland helped Lithuania get in, closing the door. Toris looked around the car, nothing changed. It was still the same car, the same mess on the floor and the same plastic bags thrown on the back seats. He remembered the car well.

Feliks got into the driver's seat and started the car, driving onto the road. He did not turn on the radio because he wanted to let Lithuania choose what to do. He didn't want to get in the way of thoughts.

- We will be home in fifteen minutes or so. The streets are empty. - Feliks started, smiling. Trying to convince Lithuania that everything would be alright.

Lithuania only nodded, he knew the road to their house well. He passed all of those houses before numerous times but this time felt different in so many ways.

- Toris? - Feliks started. - Have you thought of maybe learning sign language? - He added when he managed to get Toris' attention.

Toris looked at him surprised and shook his head as if to say no.

- You know. Because it might be useful for you. So that you don't have to write everything down. I could learn it with you as well! - Feliks tried to sound happy and encouraging.

Feliks, you idiot! What do you think this is? That I could learn a whole goddamn language just like this? No. And I don't want to because it is useless. I'm not deaf. Lithuania tried to hide his anger and doubt as best as he could. Instead he shook his head again. He really didn't want to learn sign language, he wanted everything to be back to normal.

- No? - Feliks asked sad. - I understand.- He added as if he realized something. - Don't worry about it. I understand. - He assured the Lithuanian.

I know. I know that you want the best for me, that you want to help me but it won't work.

The rest of the car ride, they spent in silence. The radio was still turned off and Feliks decided not to ask about anything else. He didn't know how all of this would work, seeing how Toris didn't want to try anything.

- We are here. Feliks said happily as they finally got to their house after a couple of minutes. Feliks hoped that he could finally escape the silence.

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Hello :3 

I didn't update for a while because I had a lot to do but now I am back. Let me know what you think of the plot and story so far! :3