Hear Your Voice // Aph Lithuania x Poland

The Search

Feliks woke up. He felt much better. It was already dark outside and the lights in the room were turned off. He turned to his side to see if Lithuania was still there, but he wasn't. That didn't scare or bother the Pole as he assumed that his partner was somewhere around the house, cleaning or cooking some food for the both of them. The rain was beating violently against the window, the sound made Poland shiver as he quickly got up to turn the lights on.

That was the moment when he noticed a folded piece of paper which was laying on the bed, right next to where he was sleeping just a second ago. He came closer just to see his name written on the top of it in a handwriting that he knew all too well.

Feliks picked it up confused. He knew that it was Lithuania who left the piece of paper there because of the characteristic cursive that that Toris always wrote with. He quickly opened the piece of paper just to realize that the handwriting inside was much different from the one that his name was written with. It was much more shaky... much more chaotic as if Toris was in a hurry when he wrote the letter. That fact made Poland worried but he tried to remain calm. He just had to read the contents of the letter as fast as he could. Find out what was going on.

"Dear Feliks, I don't know what to do." His heart stopped beating for a second. He was scared to continue on reading but he knew that Lithuania would want him to read everything that was written. He kept on reading, his hands were trembling more and more with every sentence and word. He could not believe what he was reading, he could believe that this was really happening.

"I never had hope in my future and it won't change." Tears gathered in Feliks' eyes as he tried to force himself to calm down... but he couldn't. It was all too much for him. The letter that he was reading was a confession, something that Lithuania was never able to say by himself because he was too scared to do it. Feliks felt terrible. All of those years, Toris was only pretending to be happy and managed to hide his pain and problems from Feliks.

"By the time you will be reading this, I will be out of the house." Feliks got up and ran out of the room, wishing that all he read was false. He checked every room in the house, he tried to call his name but the tears took the words away from him. He collapsed onto the floor with the letter still in his hand. He continued to read in hopes that he would find some kind of clue as of where Toris went and what he wanted to do.

"You don't need me anymore so I have to go."

- Please. - Feliks whispered, trying to wipe the tears off of his face with his sleeve. - I need you. This is all a lie. I can't... without you. - He kept on speaking to himself, unable to formulate a full sentence. His thoughts were racing back and forth as he tried to think of what to do. Instead, he could only focus on the next words. He didn't want to but he had to.

"I love you. Feliks, I really do."

- I love you too. - Poland whispered, his throat sore from all of the crying.

He finished the letter unable to comprehend what he has just read. He turned it around a couple of times as if to check if there wasn't a back side to it... There wasn't.

Without thinking much, Poland got up and rushed outside. The rain was pouring like crazy and there was a lot of puddles on the streets. Feliks ran out in whatever he had on, forgetting to put on a pair of shoes. He just managed to grab his car keys and rush out to the car. He started it as fast as he could and drove off into some random direction.

What was he hoping for? That Toris was still somewhere here? Where could he be? Did he hope that he would see Lithuania on some random street?

He was driving around the whole city, shouting his name as he drove, stopping at times when he thought that he found him. No. It never was him.

Feliks had no idea how long he spent in the car. He was wet from running around the streets when he was tired of driving. His socks were completely soaked but that was the least of his problems now.

For some reason he didn't want to give up on looking. What if Lithuania simply got lost? What if something happened to him again? Someone attacked him? He knew that looking for him in the middle of a stormy night was useless but he couldn't turn back now. What if Toris was waiting for him on the next street?

The sun started to rise as Feliks parked his car next to his house once more. He was tired and felt sick because of exhaustion. He had no idea how long he has been riding around the city but it didn't matter. He didn't find him and he never will find him. There is no use. Toris is gone. What if he decided to take his life or injure himself? No! He would never do that.

Feliks went inside of his house once more only to realize that Lithuania's bag and some of his clothes were gone. How did he not realize that before?

He started to cry once more, surprised that he still had some tears left to cry. He curled up on the rug and screamed. He could not accept what has happened.

He was alone. He forever will be alone. No one will want to spend time with a mentally ill nation.

- Why did you leave me? - He whispered as if he hoped that Toris would hear him. - Please come back. - He added.

He was still wearing his soaked clothes. His hair was wet and tangled but he didn't care. He was unable to get up or do anything. He didn't want all of this to be true. Why did Toris leave?

- Have you ever thought of how I would feel?! - He let his emotions go. He could not whisper anymore, he had to scream. - I need you and you just leave me! I will die! Is that what you want? One day you will want to come back and you will realize that I am dead! Is this what you want? I wanted to help you, I didn't care that you couldn't speak! You were the one who I loved for so long ago and one stupid accident would never change that. I don't care that you can't speak, you are the same Lithuania that you were before. You helped me so much and now you leave me! You know I won't live without you! We could have tried again, we could have sorted everything out but you just wanted to give up! Why did you leave, Toris? What it really for me or did you want to save yourself? I don't care what your reason was, you left me and that's the truth. I'm hurt! I need you and you need me! Goddamnit Toris! I never asked for this and I never wanted you to think that I stopped loving you. I just really, really wanted to speak to you, feel you next to me. That is the only thing that ever helps! And now, I spent the whole night looking for me. I'm cold and my clothes are wet because of you. I will probably get sick and end my life because I have no idea how to continue it without you. - Poland took of his clothes and changed into some clen ones in hopes that Lithuania would knock on the door at any time.

Of course, that never happened.

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Poland lost with Colombia in the World Cup so yeah... That's why I updated. :) 

I hope that this chapter didn't hit you in the feels as hard as the previous one... and well, if it did... then sorry. 

I'm planning to finish soon but I think I need a couple more chapters... What do you think will happen next? :0 Leave your ideas in the comments!