The Home

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They made their way up the pavement. Lithuania was only looking down, trying not to remember how many times he has walked the same road before, together with Feliks. The sun was shining gently on his face which made him even more tired. Toris prayed for this to be over. He just wanted to get to the house and close the door forever. He wished he would never have to come out of the house ever again.

Poland was looking over at Lithuania from time to time, checking if he was alright but every time he only grew more and more concerned for his partner. He thought that this all would be alright and that Lithuania would feel better once he gets out of the hospital but it proved to be exactly the opposite. Lithuania even refused to look at him... feliks did not know what to do or what to say anymore. The moment that was supposed to be so happy for him, changed into a moment that he wished was over.

Finally they got to the house, all Poland had to do now was to open the doors and let his partner in. His hand froze on the doorknob as he forgot to unlock the door. He quickly looked for the keys and put them into the lock. Feliks then looked over at Lithuania who was still only looking down. All Poland wished for was that Lithuania would look at him at least once. He waited a while longer until he lost all hope and opened the door.

When Lithuania heard the door unlock, he looked up at Poland surprised. Why was he surprised? They were going to the house after all and he could expect the door to be opened very fast. Fortunately, Poland did not look at him anymore as he was too concentrated on opening the door.

Poland pushed the door open and let Lithuania in. He walked in slowly and looked around. The house was exactly as he remembered, maybe a bit cleaner than before. The lights were switched off and the curtains shut, as if someone was trying to hide inside. Tears began to enter his eyes once more and he tried his best to stop them. He wished to be gone, to be able to become one with the darkness and be forgotten forever.

Feliks stood behind him, observing how his partner was looking around as if he was trying to remember where he was. In fact, he could see how tears gently rolled down Lithuania's face. Feliks was still divided. On one side, he wanted to comfort Lithuania as best as he could, hug him and take care of him. On the other hand, he was too scared to do it.

Toris felt like a part of him was missing and he knew that it would be missing forever no matter how hard he tried to get it back. Before he even let Poland move from his place, Toris set off deeper into the house, entering every room to see if it was exactly like he remembered it.

It was... And it made him smile.

Feliks followed him, smiling from time to time as Toris opened door after door. He felt happy because Toris was smiling more and more.

When Lithuania had no more doors to open, he stopped in the hallway feeling empty once more.

- I think you should rest. - Feliks finally decided to say something after a long time of silence. - The doctors said that you should not walk that much because you are still weak.

Lithuania only nodded and followed Poland. He had to admit that he felt very tired and needed some rest.

Poland lead his partner to their room, the same one as before the accident and let Lithuania lay down on the bed which was in the room.

Toris lay his head down on one of the pillows and automatically felt sleepy, it was obvious that he was still weak and needed sleep.

- I can go, if you want. - Feliks said, standing over the bed.

Don't go. Stay with me. Are you scared of me now? You never were scared. Lithuania wished to say all of this but all he could do is shake his head in hopes that the other understood that he wanted Feliks to stay.

- I'll stay then. - Poland sounded a bit happier. - I'll unpack your things for you. - He added, turning away to open the bag. He started to take out Toris' clothes and setting them on the shelves.

Feliks... I wish you could hear me now. I need to ask you something: will I ever manage to speak again? I don't mean writing things down but using actual words. Will you still stay with me even if I don't manage to speak to you?

I'm happy to be here but this will not work. I find it harder and harder to communicate what I want to say to you and I really don't want you to feel hurt because of it. It is not that I don't want to try... I just can't try. I can't, okay?

Before Lithuania could think of something else, he fell asleep in silence.

Poland looked over to his partner and saw that he was sleeping. The thought of that made him more calm as he knew that Lithuania would get enough rest. He unpacked the notebook and pen that Lithuania has been using and set it on the small bedside table next to the bed. He knew that Toris would not want to use it but that was the only way he could say something... at least for now. Maybe in the future, Poland would convince his partner to try to speak again because he believed that it would be possible for him to learn how to whisper again. Maybe it was not a lot, but it would help Lithuania to get his voice back and maybe then things would get back to normal.

Feliks gently kissed Toris on the cheek and went out of the room, closing the door behind him in hopes that he would not wake the Lithuanian up. Now that he knew that Toris was back home, he had to think of a way to make him feel better. Unfortunately, this would not be easy looking at his partner's current mental state... but it wasn't impossible.

Feliks entered their small kitchen because he wanted to eat something but ended up sitting on one of the chairs in the kitchen, not able to move. He was experiencing flashbacks again, the rooms were too dark for him and forced him to remember everything that he didn't want to remember. He tried to force himself to get up but he couldn't, he felt as if his body was paralyzed. His legs refused to move and forced him to stay still on the chair no matter how badly he wanted to get out.

Seconds...

Minutes...

Enough!

Feliks forced himself to get up but only fell forward onto the floor, he slowly crawled to the window with all of the strength that he still possessed. His head was ringing with people screaming. The he tried getting up once more and this time he managed to stay up on his legs enough to open the curtains and let in some light. When he did, the screams became less audible as he fell to his knees, covered in sweat which was now mixing with the tears that were dripping down his face. He felt exhausted and only managed to look up at the window one more before he fell asleep from exhaustion on the cold floor.

He had no dreams but maybe that was better for him.

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Hi! I hope you enjoy this fanfic! I might be less active now since I have exams soon... I also decided to participate in Fanfiction Bootcamp which is organized by Wattpad so that should be fun. 

I already wrote the first entry for the Bootcamp which you can read on my account if you want to. 

Thank you for reading!!!! :3 

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