Guided by Love // a ziam fanfic (on HOLD)

eight

 

(Zayn's POV)

And that's when I woke up.

For real now.

It was all a dream.

It's only been a day since Liam has.... died and he is all I can think about.

It's all my fault.

If I would have just made him shut up instead of talk to me. If I would have just not have been in the room. Why did he always wake up when I was in the room? Every time I was in the room, he woke up and then went unconcious. Why? Why did it have to end up like this? End up with me here in bed and Liam in a different place; a place called heaven.

All I remember from yesterday was when Liam had died was the doctor announcing, "He's gone,"

I know he's gone, but I feel as if his spirit is with me.

Every time I would be in a quiet room, I would hear his husky, weak yet strong voice.

Every time I would here a beep, I would think of his non-existing heart monitor.

Every time I would close my eyes, I would picture Liam, trying to see what he really looked like. Like I would ever know even, if he was alive.

And that made a tear drop into my pillow.

I hate crying but lately, I've been a waterfall. Never ending tears. And when the tears eventually ran out, I would still cry. That's how much of my heart is broken.

I cry when I'm awake but when I dream, it's even worse.

I always picture Liam and it only makes my heart break even more.

I miss him.

The one that was never mine.

I miss him.

The one that will never come back.

I just lie in bed and breathe, thinking about Liam.

I have been in my bed ever since we returned home from the hospital last night and I haven't left it since.

I thought of questions, and they brought even more tears to my eyes.

What if he had lived? Would he have let me get close to him? Would he have cared for me like I did, and still do? And now my questions will never be answered.

All the sudden, I hear the home phone ring and Jules answers it after the second ring.

I can hear her downstairs. She has been making a meal for me and the smell of chicken is in the air. My favorite. I never ate dinner or breakfast and the smell makes my stomach growl loudly.

"Hello?" I hear Jules asks into the phone.

"This is she," she says after a few seconds.

"Um, yeah we will be there in about fifteen,"

"Okay, thank you, bye,"

I hear foot steps coming up the stairs, rather fast and I know she is coming to my room.

My door bursts open and Jules runs into my room and throws my covers off of me.

"Oh my god, Jules, what the," I cry as the cold air hits my body. A shiver runs down my spine.

"Zayn, not now, we need to go to the hospital. They have news for us,"

(Dani's POV: 1 day earlier)

Right after Doctor Haas announced Liam death, the family and friends exited the room so we could shut down the machines and cover the body.

It's another day at work for me, but always the worst.