Come back

Chapter 7

Chapter dedicated to ShawnMendesLover6703

Shania's P.O.V

It had been a week since Hiroki had left, and I still didn't manage to get over it. I couldn't think of anything else but how I had failed him and how in the end I had pushed him away. And I didn't even know what I should have done differently in order to help him.

And now I was all alone.

Yes, he technically hadn't broken up with me, but the end result was the same. He was in the Japan with his parents and I was here all alone. What could that mean except that he'd broken up with me but didn't have the guts to tell me so to my face?

I sighed and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Eyes that looked dead, black rings under them which showed how little I had slept the past nights, unruly hair that I hadn't brushed in I don't know how long, sick-looking skin which was so pale it was scary. What had I become? What had happened to me? This wasn't the person I knew myself to be. The Shania I was would never have let herself become this way. She always took care of her appearance and she was a healthy person. Who was this person staring at me in the mirror? Scared, I took a few steps back and then ran away. I couldn't bear to see myself in the mirror, I didn't want to see this sick-looking person I had become because of the death of my best friend and the departure of my boyfriend. I didn't want to see how much it affected me. So I ran.

I left the flat and ran out on the street. I kept on running, ignoring the stares of the people around me. I ran until I reached my unknown destination. Destination that I hadn't chosen and where I would have never gone had I been in my right mind.

The cemetery.

Hesitantly, I walked in and walked aimlessly among the graves. I knew, deep down, that I should have come here earlier, but I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to admit that I had let time pass because I was a coward, because I didn't want to face the truth, that she was gone forever and that she wouldn't come back. That I had failed her. That I didn't keep my promise to her. That I didn't manage to protect her. Mechanically, I brushed away the tears that were starting to flow down, and I knelt in front of her grave. I hadn't even realised that I had reached it before now.

I knelt there and let the tears flow. I let them flow, trying to get rid of all the guilt and pain and grief in me. I didn't want to feel anything anymore, and I hoped that the tears would take the feelings away with them. I didn't know how long I had stayed there crying, but when I finally came to my senses, I saw a man standing there, a couple of steps behind her grave. I looked at him with wide eyes, silently taking him in, trying to figure out who he was, who this man in yellow was.

"You were also her friend?"

His voice brought me back to reality completely, and I nodded, not trusting my voice.

"I've only ever seen the young man here. But he hasn't come by in a week. He listened to my advice and went to get help, didn't he?"

I stared at him, feeling anger boil in me. This man knew Hiroki and he knew why he'd left. What's worse, he'd told Hiroki to leave. To leave me.

"How could you? How could you tell him to leave? To leave me? How could you meddle in someone else's affairs? HOW COULD YOU TAKE MY BOYFRIEND AWAY FROM ME?!" With that I started sobbing again and curled up on the ground, holding onto my hair tightly as if that could stop me from going crazy and from breaking down even more. I stayed that way until I managed to calm down, and I had almost forgotten about the man, until I heard his voice again.

"I never wanted to take him away from you, and I apologize for unintentionally hurting you like this. But he needed his parents. He wanted to kill himself and he needed his parents to be there for him."

"How could you know that? How could you know that he needed his parents? You know nothing," I spat, anger and hurt and pain in my voice.

I felt a twinge of guilt when I saw the look of pain in the man's eyes, but I refused to let myself feel any remorse, not now.

"He had the same look as my son when he asked for our help before killing himself."

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