Come back

Chapter 20

Hiroki's P.O.V.

I stood in the cemetery again, after too long I realised. I had missed talking to Leonora, I had missed the feeling of closeness when I was by her side. But I couldn't talk to her right now. I was on a mission. Mission Shania had forced on me. I hadn't complained though, just sighing internally and agreeing, because she probably knew best. I was also in no position to refuse her anything, I had hurt her enough as it was, and all I wanted was to make it up to her. I wanted to make her happy, and if it was going to talk to Christopher about his daughter then so be it. Even if I had to admit that I had no wish to do so. He was nice and everything, but I didn't know if me talking to him about this was a good idea.

I decided to knock and go in before I could talk myself out of it. When I came in, not even waiting for an answer, I was shocked. This wasn't what I was expecting to see. Christopher, in his signature yellow clothes, was lying on the couch, curled up in a ball and holding something in his hands. His face was clenched, as if he was trying to contain the pain inside of him. He looked up briefly when I walked in and the suffering in his eyes broke my heart. This wasn't just physical pain, there was something else. And I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what that something else was. However, ignoring my brain that was telling me to run away from the image of suffering in front of me, I walked closer and knelt in front of him. Gently, I moved him a bit so he was in a more comfortable position, smiling sympathetically when he winced. Once I had moved him, I simply knelt there and waited. I didn't know what I was waiting for, but I knew that I shouldn't talk and that I should just wait.

I didn't need to wait for long because, after a couple of minutes, Christopher grabbed my hands and held them tightly, making it impossible for me to move. The death grip he had on me seemed to calm him down a bit, because his facial features softened and his eyes showed some emotion other than pain. I couldn't really say what it was, but it definitely was something good, or at least a bit better, and I was glad for that. I only wished the best for him. Yes, he had been a bad parent to both Emilie and her brother, but he seemed to regret now, he had walked the terrible road of redemption, and he deserved some good in life. And if I was the only one who could give it to him, then I'd do my best. I might have been a terrible son to my parents, and I may have yet to do a lot to be able to redeem myself, but I could at least make this man happy, give him something. While he silently held my hands in his death grip, I wondered what it must be like to work in a cemetery. I supposed that it must be hard, being surrounded by death constantly. I wondered if his son was buried here, or if he was somewhere else. I knew that he chose to work at the cemetery because of his son, because of Arthur, but I didn't know much else.

"Emilie..."

I  was startled at the sound of his voice and I looked at him, not understanding. Emilie? Was he asking about her? What was I supposed to say?

"Was here..." he rasped out again, pain lacing his voice.

I looked at him confused, as I thought that Emilie hadn't been here, or at least that was what Shania had told me. Had Emilie been here without telling anyone? I knew that it was possible but it still surprised me because she was usually quite open about what she did and she had been telling Shania everything, asking for advice and such. Christopher must have seen my confusion because he also looked at me confused and I hurried to explain.

"She didn't tell us that she'd been here and Shania, you know my girlfriend, she asked me to come here to talk to you about that," I hesitated for a bit before continuing, not wanting to push my luck and  what I could or couldn't say, "Emilie told Shania that she was afraid of talking to you because she didn't know how you would react, especially because of the past..." I trailed off, seeing how he closed his eyes as if he was in pain. I didn't know how to react to that and I was afraid that I'd gone to far. Maybe mentioning the past wasn't a good idea...

"That explains a lot then," he said before explaining, seeing my confusion, "she was here but she never actually came in to talk to me. I just saw her from the window, but I don't think she actually saw me. I wondered why she never came in, and I never had the strength to get up and go to the door to talk to her."

Hearing him say that he never had the strength to get up to see her made me think of something else, which also worried me.

"If you don't have enough strength to get up, how do you survive? How do you get food and stuff?"

He shrugged and waved his hand vaguely. "I get by, no need to worry son."

This worried me a lot but I didn't know, once again, what to do. It seemed that I was really helpless to deal with people, and I hated that, but I barely knew how to deal with myself so I didn't know what to do to help others and to help them get better, even if it was simply a physical illness. I made a mental note to talk to Shania about this, wondering if she knew something about how he had survived until now. It was the type of thing she'd know. I had got so caught up in my thoughts of how worried I was that I jumped at his voice, even if it couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes since he had talked and I was sure I had been attentive.

"Could you do me a favour son?"