Come back

Chapter 16

Emilie's P.O.V.

I stood in front of the cemetery. Wondering why I had come here despite telling Shania that there was no way I was going to go see my father. Especially not when he lived in the same cemetery where they were buried. But once again, my body did the opposite of what my mind wanted. So now here I was, staring at the graves that were neatly laid out. I couldn't help but think of the people there, of those that were buried, of their families, of their friends. Of those that never got any visits, of those that got visits regularly. Of those that had been there for years, of those that had been there for a short while, like..

I stopped myself before I could take that thought further and shook myself mentally. This was not the time. This was the time to see my father, who was sick and needed his daughter. Did he even need me? Did he even want me to be there? Did he know that Shania had contacted me? Did he even know that we were friends? Or was he alone, sick, with no idea at all of who was who, of the connections between Shania and me, between Leonora and me? Was he thinking that he'd never see his daughter again? Did he regret anything? Did he feel that everything he did was right? Would he hate me for coming?

I sighed and shook myself mentally once again. There was no point in questioning everything, I supposed I'd know the answers, or at least part of them, if I went to see him. Or, better said, when I saw him, as I wasn't about to turn back now that I was here. Or was I going to? What did I even want to do? If I was honest with myself, I didn't know anymore what I wanted. I was also scared of wanting something and seeing it disappear before my very own eyes. Like Leonora.

Oh god, how I missed her and her laugh and her beautiful smile and how she'd pout when I told her that it was bedtime and how she'd hug me tight when one of us was sad and how she'd squeal in a really high pitched tone when she saw something cute or that she liked. I missed those days when we were together and when everything was fine. I missed holding her and hearing her voice. I also missed my brother and how we'd playfully fight like small kids over who could finish the packet of cereal, him winning all the time of course. I missed how he'd sneak into my room at night and we'd tell each other stories until we fell asleep in each other's arm. I missed my brother from before he got his boyfriend. He was so carefree and happy and alive. I missed them both because they were the people I had loved the most and about whom I had cared the most. They would have probably loved each other had they met. Did they maybe meet now that they were both in the same place? Where were they even? I glanced up at the sky and wondering if they were up there. Maybe they were happily jumping from cloud to cloud, playing something while also keeping an eye on us living people. Or maybe they had reincarnated themselves into the most beautiful flowers ever. Or into the cutest animals ever. Or maybe there was nothing after death and I was just telling myself stories to stop myself from collapsing.

I couldn't think about this now however. I had a task at hand. I had to get over my fear and go ahead and go see my father. Who I hadn't seen in years. Who I didn't even know if I wanted to see. Who probably didn't even care about me. Who would probably kick me out the moment he saw me. Who probably hates me. Who had lost his "dad" title to another man. Who hadn't even looked for me when I left.

"Stop it Emilie. You don't know what your father thinks. Now walk in there and go see him. You can do this. You can do this."

I probably sounded crazy, talking to myself staring at the door but I couldn't care less. I was too scared to go see him. I was too scared to face the man that had kicked his own son, my brother, out just because of who he was. Ironically, I had left my girlfriend for the same reason. Because of who she was. And I had missed out on time with her, on precious time I would never get back now.

Sighing, I left the cemetery, knowing that I wouldn't be able to see him today. That I was once again too cowardly to face my own father.

🥢🥢

Hello there lovelies!😊

How'd you like this chapter? Sorry that it's a bit shorter than usual but I didn't want to give you an overdose of emotions and of feels😇

Anyway, do you think that Emilie will manage to see her father? Also, in case you forgot, when she left home, she got adopted and her adoptive parents are the people she calls mom and dad. Just wanted to clear that out in case anyone forgot😅

Do you want the next chapter to be about Hiroki and Shania or about Emilie and her dad?

*insert the most annoying ads music ever* self promo: please check out my 'Little me' books (especially the second one)! I've started updating the second book again so pleeeeease go have a look. And if anyone here read it before and abandoned it because of my lack of updates, I promise I'm gonna update regularly again! *pinky promise*

Have a good day/night/evening!💖