Come back

Chapter 4

Chapter dedicated to Inky_Purple

Hiroki's P.O.V

"You're what?"

"I'm leaving," I repeated, looking down. Why was this so hard to say? Why did she sound so hurt? I had come to this decision after thinking a lot about it, coming to the conclusion that this was the best for both of us, and yet those words were so difficult to say. It wasn't as if I was leaving her.... Then why was I feeling so bad about this? "I'm going to my parents' house for a while. I.... I need some time to grieve and come to terms with the fact that my, our, life has changed in this way. And I can't do that here because there are too many memories in this place. And I want my parents...."

"I understand...." She sounded so broken while saying those two simple words. And it broke my heart to hear her say that. I didn't want her to hurt like this. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow. I already bought the ticket." What I didn't tell her was that I didn't know when I'd be back. That I might never come back, depending on how things went. That it had been either going to my parents or joining Leonora. That I had thought about this ever since her death, because I just couldn't deal with it. How was I supposed to tell her that? She was my girlfriend, I couldn't hurt her in that way, I loved her too much for that. And that was why I was leaving. To maybe recover and be able to come back and help her with her own pain. Pain that she kept hidden away in order to help me. It was my turn to do something for her. It was my turn to help myself and get rid of my demons.

"Okay," she looked away and took a deep breath before forcing a smile on her face. "I'll help you pack."

I nodded, knowing that helping me pack would help her keep some control over herself and not feel completely useless. It would help her accept the situation. Who was I to refuse her that?

I followed her to my room and took out the suitcase with which I first came to Europe. It was deep blue, although in some places, for some mysterious reason, it had become light blue. Shania smiled when she saw the stickers that decorated it. They were all from singers and groups that I liked and showed my inner fanboy. H.O.T, god, Sechskies, N.R.G. My favorite groups. Somehow, despite my father being part of one, I didn't really like modern Korean groups and stayed with the old ones. And I didn't listen to Japanese music either. Or Western music except for the Beatles sometimes. I was happy with the few groups I listened to. And, even if I wasn't, I wouldn't be able to learn anymore songs by heart.

I shook my head; this wasn't the moment to think about them, I had to concentrate on taking all the stuff I needed. I opened the suitcase and turned to Shania, who was already starting to put the things I'd need on my bed. I helped her take out the things. Clothes for all seasons and weathers, shoes, my favorite books and other necessities. Once everything was out, she pushed me away and silently started putting everything in the suitcase. At some point she had to stop in order to dry her tears, but she wouldn't let me come near her or the suitcase. So I just stood there silently watching her and wondering what I should do.

Once she was done and, after closing it, brought the suitcase to the front door of our flat. Then she locked herself in her room, leaving me alone in mine. It's what happened everyday, but why did it feel different and wrong this time? What had changed? Why did it feel so wrong? Nothing was different. Sighing, I went to the kitchen, made Shania a dinner and, after putting it away in the fridge and writing a note to let her know, locked myself in my room to sleep.

Like every single day. Nothing had changed after all.

🥢🥢

Hi there lovelies!

I'm back with my normal length chapters, what did you think of it?😊

Do you think that Hiroki made the right decision? Or should he stay with Shania? Please let me know your thoughts.

I was listening to H.O.T's Warrior's Descendant while writing this chapter, so that's why it's above in the media. Feel free to listen to it! I've been obsessed with that group since yesterday so yeah😅😂😍😍😍😍

Have a good day/night/evening!💖