Jacob Sartorius Imagines

Body Imperfections (sad)

Warning: If you are sensitive to anorexia, eating disorders, extreme body insecurity, or suicidal thoughts and behaviors, you may not want to read this chapter. Some readers may be triggered by this chapter and it may not be right for everyone. Read with caution and please don't be influenced by any behaviors in this.

You started at your reflection in the full-length bathroom mirror. Your stern expression didn't change as you eyed your body up and down. You wore only a plain black bra and underwear. Although you could visibly see that you were thinner than you were a few months ago, you still weren't satisfied with your body.

You thought of all the models you had seen on Instagram. Their bodies were perfect. They were thin, yet toned in all the right places. They had curves, yet they were thin. You wanted to look like that. Your boyfriend, Jacob, always told you that you were perfect the way you were. But you didn't think so.

A single tear slid down your cheek as you poked at yourself. Your head was jumbled with negative thoughts: My stomach isn't flat enough. My thighs are too big. My arms aren't skinny enough. My breasts aren't big enough. My butt is too small. My waist isn't thin enough. My shoulders are too broad. I have fat in all the wrong places. I'm ugly. I'm disgusting.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and pulled the hair band off of your wrist. You pulled your hair up into a quick messy bun. It wasn't the kind that was meant to be cute. Just a way to pull your hair up real quick.

You silently opened up the lid to the toilet. You got down on your knees, feeling tears starting to form in your eyes. Without another second of hesitation, you made yourself throw up.

You vomited up everything you had left in your stomach. The burning acid lined your throat as you hunched over the toilet bowl. You started to cry. Quiet sobs escaped your lips as hot tears streamed down your face.

Why am I not good enough? Why can't I look like them? Why am I even alive?

Your vision was now blurry due to all of the tears. Over the loud sound of your cries, you faintly heard the squeak of the door opening, but you couldn't move. You couldn't get up.

"Y/n!" Jacob's worried voice echoed through the small room. You felt your body being lifted up into his arms. He closed the toilet lid and set you down. You couldn't even open your eyes. You couldn't even look at him.

Tears began to pour down Jacob's cheeks as he kneeled down in front of you. "Baby girl," He spoke softly, "Please look at me." You took one last deep breath before finally opening up your eyes. You saw Jacob, tears streaming down his face with puffy, red eyes and messy hair. The sight of him like this broke your heart.

"Why did you do it?" He asked, fighting back the urge to sob. You didn't say anything. You just stared at him, unable to speak. "Y/n, why did you do that?" He repeated, grabbing your hand. You took a deep breath.

"Because I'm ugly." You said at almost a whisper. Jacob furrowed his eyebrows. "Wha-" You cut him off. "And I'm fat, and disgusting and you deserve so much better than me, Jacob." You broke down into tears again.

Jacob pulled your body into his, wrapping his arms around you in a hug. You hugged him back, squeezing him tightly. Once you stopped sobbing he pulled out of the hug.

"Y/n, listen to me." He spoke sternly. "You are absolutely perfect. There's nothing wrong with you or your body. There's a reason I picked you as a girlfriend. I don't deserve better, because there isn't anyone better than you."

You wiped the tears from your eyes with your fingertips a Jacob continued. "And I don't want you to ever do this to yourself again. You're perfect. I don't want you to change. What your doing is only harming you. It's unhealthy and there's no reason for you to do it."

You looked at your lap in shame. You always knew Jacob cared for you, but you didn't know to that extent. It was at that moment that you really knew how much he loved you.

"You're so gorgeous, y/n. I don't care what anyone else says." Jacob kissed your hand. "I've said it once before and I'll say it again; I don't want you to look like those Instagram models. I want you to look like you, y/n. I want you to look like my beautiful girlfriend who's  perfect just the way she is."

Jacob finally took a deep breath. A smile crept onto your lips. The first real smile you've had in a really long time. No one has ever been that honest and sweet to you. That was, until now.

"Jacob," You sighed, "I love you so much." You smiled. You looked up at him, seeing a twinkle in his hazel eyes. He returned the smile. "I love you so much more, babe."

"Now, let's get you cleaned up, yeah?" He stood up. "Start up a warm shower and I'll bring you some clothes." You looked down at your body, seeing you were still in only your undergarments. You nodded. "Okay." You stood up, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

He left the bathroom to go get you some clean clothes as you started up a shower. As you stripped your bra and underwear off, you started to think. Maybe what I did actually was wrong. Maybe I don't need to change. Maybe he can actually accept my body as it is.

Your own thoughts even surprised yourself. For once, you were thinking positively about yourself. And it was all thanks to Jacob, easily the sweetest person you had ever met. You don't know what you would have done without him there.

Wow, this is actually really serious compared to everything else I've posted. But I wanted to post about something serious just for everyone to know that you shouldn't do it. Eating disorders are really serious, and if you or anyone you know is struggling then don't be afraid to let someone know about it. It's okay so seek help. There's no shame in that. Everyone is perfect in their own way, and it doesn't matter their body size. I know i sound cringe or whatever but it's really the truth. Anyway, I have a "hot" imagine coming out after this so be prepared for that. It will get slightly dirty so don't say I didn't warn you haha