Jacob Sartorius Imagines

Insecure Mess of a Person (dirty)

This was a request, in this Jacob is really insecure and has a lot of anxiety. Part 2 will probably be out tomorrow.

Jacob's POV

We walked into her house, both wrapped in towels and laughing about some dumb joke I just made. She wore a black two piece bathing suit while I wore my swim shorts. We had just got done swimming in the pool in y/n's backyard.

"I'm gonna go get changed real quick, when I'm done then you can." Y/n's lips curled into a grin before she placed a quick kiss on my lips. I nodded my head before watching her climb up the stairs.

I took a seat on one of the chairs at the dining room table. I looked around, noticing the kitchen and dining room were almost spotless. Knowing me, if my parents were out of town, I would have completely destroyed the house.

Y/n's parents aren't here, they went on some business trip, which is what she told me. They're only gone a few days, and today she invited me over to kill her boredom and swim. It was the middle of July, so it was really hot outside, but perfect weather for swimming.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I turned my head, a smile forming when I saw my gorgeous girlfriend emerging from upstairs. She was now in a black tank top and jean shorts, her damp hair cascading over her shoulders.

I stood up, grabbing the red towel and draping it over my shoulder. I used my free hand to reach up and ruffle my hair a bit.

"You can go get changed, I'll be up in a minute." Y/n told me, walking into the kitchen and opening up one of the cabinets.

"Kay," I replied bluntly as she took out a glass. I trudged up the stairs, the wet material of my shorts rubbing against my thigh. It's a good thing I was about to get out of this, otherwise it would probably chafe.

I made my way into y/n's familiar bedroom, closing the white door behind me. I didn't bother locking it, it's not like someone's about to walk in on me, right?

I rummaged through my backpack, which sat in the corner of her room, at the foot of her bed. I pulled out a white Levi's shirt and some joggers. I didn't plan on going anywhere today so there was no need to dress anything but casually.

I zipped up the bag, standing up straight. I dropped the towel and watched it land in a pile on the carpet. Looking up, I saw my own reflection in the mirror. I took in my appearance, stepping closer to it. If I'm being completely honest, I didn't like what I saw.

One of my biggest insecurities is my appearance. Normally, it's stereotypical for girls to be self-conscious about their looks and their bodies, but in this case, I was the self-conscious one.

I hated how thin I was; my abs not present, my biceps not big enough. My legs were practically sticks, long and slender. I sighed, thinking about all the other guys y/n has dated.

They were all tall and muscular, being fit and tan. I always had to sit back and act like I didn't care about her other relationships. I always had to pretend that I wasn't madly infatuated with her. I had to act like I wasn't jealous.

I gulped down the lump in my throat, my gaze still glued to my own reflection. Slowly, I gripped the waistband of my swim shorts. In a single swift motion, I pulled them down. They pooled around my ankles, leaving my body exposed completely. I felt goosebumps forming on my damp skin, being exposed to the room's air.

I stared at at my groin in the mirror. Nothing special. Yet another reason to hate my own body. I secretly dreaded ever losing my virginity or exposing myself in any way, as strange as the reason may be. I just didn't want y/n to see it for some reason. What if it's not what she'd hoped for? What if I'm too small? What if she just doesn't like it? I'm an insecure mess of a person.