Jacob Sartorius Imagines

My Greatest Mistake (sad)

this is a part from my previous book, and it has 2-3 other parts that go with it, so those will be coming out soon. this one is pretty sad so yeh

Y/N's POV

I sat in the big chair at his desk, pen in hand, looking at the small piece of paper in front of me. I couldn't keep this up any longer, especially as things were becoming so serious. I was getting worried he was going to ask me to marry him, so if I wanted things to go any further, I knew I needed to tell him. He deserved to know my greatest mistake.

•••

Just over a year ago, Jacob and I went on holiday to Indonesia. We spent 2 weeks in a picturesque villa: candle lit dinners in the gardens, late night skinny-dipping. It was beautiful.

One day when roaming around a traditional market, we came across a trinket stall. They sold all types of intricate metal and wood items; small teapots with monkeys on the lid, silver bangles, tiny wooden turtles, all sorts. As we browsed, I saw Jacob pick up a very small metal treasure chest, smaller than the palm of my hand.

"Secret treasure chest Sir. It will hold all your secret." Spoke the frail old lady who owned the stall.

Seeing Jacob speaking to the woman, I crossed back towards him and picked up another of the treasure chests from the table. They were so precious: dark silver metal, with mother of pearl on the lid, and an elephant carved into it. The sides were covered in tiny engravings and little added silver triangles and circles. I brushed my finger over the elephant, feeling the ridges in the mother of pearl.

"They're beautiful! Can I buy two please?" Jacob asked the lady.

I looked up from the small chest in my hand, and placed it back onto the table, as I watched Jacob pay. The lady wrapped up two of the chests in some cream coloured cloth, and put them in a bag. Jacob turned his head and grinned at me, dimples coming into view. He reached forward and held my hand lightly as we left the stall and continued through the quiet market.

"One for me, and one for you. So if there is ever anything you can't tell me, you can just write it down and put it in my treasure chest. And I'll do the same for you. So we never have to keep a secret from each other." He leant down slightly and kissed the side of my forehead.

"I love it. Thank you so much." I stopped and returned the kiss, throwing my arms around him. "I'll never keep a secret from you."

•••

The small piece of paper I had cut up stared blankly at me. Ever since Jacob bought the chests, we had only ever used them for silly things. Mine was on my dressing table in our room, and his was on his desk in the study.

After we got in a meaningless fight once, I wrote an 'I'm sorry' note and put it inside. And another time, when I had a stupid breakdown about wanting to lose weight, Jacob left a note saying 'you don't need to loose a single pound for me', along with a few packets of Smarties candies. We never used them for serious things. Not like this.

I had been wanting to just man up and tell him to his face for ages now, but I never had the courage. I was taking the coward's way out, and I knew it.

The guilty feeling in my stomach was overpowering. The butterflies were painful. I knew this could all go wrong. He would probably leave me, and I'd have to move out, or he would move out. I didn't know what would happen, but keeping this lie was consuming me.

I felt completely disconnected from my own body, as I watched my hand scribble ink black words across the paper. Putting the pen down, my eyes focused on the betrayal scrawled in front of me. I sat for a while, just staring at the words.

Realizing the destruction I was about to cause. I folded the paper in half, and in half again, and opened the small chest. It fit inside perfectly. I felt ashamed.

I closed the tiny latch, and placed it in the middle of the desk, in front of the keyboard. A deep sigh left my body. Now all I had to do was wait.

I decided I didn't want to sit in the kitchen or living room. I didn't want to have to fake a happy greeting when he came home. It didn't seem right. It was only 4pm, and still sunny outside. I decided to sit on the beanbags at the bottom of the garden.

The back of the study was sliding glass doors, which looked over the garden, so I would see him enter the room, and open the chest. I knew I wouldn't be able to watch his reaction. I picked up my book, and made my way to the bottom of our small garden.

Slumping into the beanbag, facing the glass doors, I crossed my legs and opened my book. I began reading. I didn't take my eyes off the book. Jacob was due home within the hour. I couldn't even look up. I just sat there, pretending to take in the words that my eyes were looking at. Waiting for the storm.

"Y/n..." Jacob blankly shouted. I was yanked back to reality at his voice, but continued staring at my book. The sun had been beating down on my head, and my hair was boiling hot.

"Y/N!" he shouted at the top of his voice. I slowly moved my head up, and saw the beautiful tall boy stood in the doorway of the glass study doors. White t-shirt, black jeans, and his favorite silly donut socks. He squinted at me, and pushed his floppy hair off his face. I swallowed deeply. He had seen it. He had read it. He knew.

"Come here..." he called down to me. I pursed my lips together, knowing I now needed to answer for my actions. I placed the book down on the wooden patio, and pulled my body out of the beanbag. I stood hesitantly.

I couldn't see Jacob's face properly because of the sun in my eyes. Was he angry? Was he upset? I couldn't tell. I just watched as he stood in the doorway, waiting for me come forward.

"Y/N. Come here!" his voice was completely deadpan. Deep and flat.

I dubiously walked forward. Step by step decreasing the space between us, feeling my heart drumming hard in my chest. As he came into view, he looked stone cold - his face completely still, pale and drained. His usually bright hazel eyes were clouded and dark. His jaw was clenched.

I stopped about a meter in front of him, and waited for his move. He looked at me, straight in the eye, and said nothing. We stood there in silence, he could hear me breathing, and I could hear him. The quietness was killing me.

"Come."

I watched as he turned around and walked through the study, into the hallway. As I followed about four feet behind him, he began walking up the stairs towards our bedroom. I knew it, he was going to ask me to pack and leave. I bowed my head in shame, watching my feet carry me up the wood stairs.

part two is coming out as soon as this gets 26 votes and 14 comments <3