Room 1 (Bates Motel)

Chapter 24

My chest heaves violently up and down and I spurratically blink my eyes to regain my vision. I must have woken up too fast or something. The  last thing I remember is being in Nates car bobbing my head back and forth trying to stay awake until we made it back to the motel. After that I can't remember anything else.

"W-were a-am I," my words stumble out out. The sillouet lowers infront of me and I press my back furthur into the wall.

"Melissa, you're in your room," a male voice says. The sillouet reaches to touch me and again I push harder against the wall wanting to melt within the walls to escape. "It's me Dylan. You remember me don't you?" Dylan? How am I with Dylan? I thought I was with Nate. Everything around me begins to de-fog itself and my surroundinggs become clear again.

I'm back in my room, not that house. I am safe for now. Dylans terrified face sits right infront of me. His kneeled body stiff unsure of what to do with my unstable state. "It felt so real," I wheep out. Droplets of water are continuously falling. When did I start crying?

"So real," I hug my knees and bury my head. He's seen me like this too many times, way too many times. It's pathetic I'm pathetic. My nightmares are getting worse as time goes on . It's supposed to get better, not worse. 

"What? What was real," Dylan hesitantly asks. I wipe my eyes and look up, trying to regain my lost composure. "N-nothing...it was just a really bad dream. You can go now," I try to confidently say.

"Thats the third time I've heard you wake up screaming in terror, somethings wrong."

"It's nothing just leave," my voice grows louder. I want him to leave. I want to be alone. I hate how he's always magically here when I start to lose myself. Why can't I deal with this agony alone and not have some one probing me for information that I have no desire to give? Is it friendship or just pure curiosity because of how insane I sound.

"Melissa I just wanna-."

"LEAVE!" I scream. I'm pretty sure the whole motel could hear me and there will most likely be complaints in the morning. But I don't care I just want to be left the hell alone. Dylans face hardens and no longer looks soft and sympathetic anymore as he stands up.

"Fine be alone! I'm just trying to help, but if you don't want to be helped then I don't even know I keep trying. Being alone isn't going to help you move on from whatever you're running from," he spits and slams the door making me flinch. I know that being alone isn't helping me, but it's what I deserve.

I never moved from my spot in the corner. I didn't want to I was overly tired and physically exhausted for some reason. The whole night I was drifting in and out of sleep not moving from my corner. I need to stop this. I need to atleast try to move or something I can't be living my life in this hellish loop hole of misery. But how do I move on without feeling some sort of guilt to distract myself from my own thoughts?

Building a new me is gonna be hard, but I don't want to live day in and day out like this. The nightmares will never fade I know for sure. But maybe if I improve myself that my mom will some how be proud of me for being strong and moving forward instead of behind. I know that the very first step in recovery is to let people in but I already have trust issues so I'll just skip that one.

Well I guess the first/second step to emotional recovery is get up off the damn floor and clean myself up for school. I've been skipping a lot and going back to school would be another distraction for me. The one thing my mother did brag about and was proud about was I was such a 'scholar' in school. Don't know how I'm gonna get there considering the fact Dylan was the one who takes me.

I shower myself and get ready for the day applying apropriate amount of make-up on so I wont look so tired and basic blue jeans with a longsleeve and my leather jacket. Before I leave I stop at the door my hand on the knob. The minute I walk out this door I have to leave all my thoughts, fears, and guilt behind or else I won't be able to create a new me.

The new me may not be nicer, meaner, or act the same. The new me will still be me, but with a new outlook on things if that makes any sense at all. I guess I'll just go with the flow and see how this new me crap works out. If it doesn't work out then, well, I guess I can't get it any worse for me.

I open the door and am greeted from cool crisp morning air that sends little bumps up my arms and legs.The sound of a bus wizzing by on the road alerts me and Norman waving bye. You have got to be kidding me...already my day is shitty and I just left my room.

"You need a ride," an amused voice asks. "Yea," I groan at the smiling balck haired messy boy.

**********

The whole day was such a blurr. I try to make a new start and slow myself and all I get are bitchy teenage girls scoffing at me while I walk down the hall. English starts and ends faster than I wanted it to. English i'm good at and for as much effort I put into trying to look like I don't care and am not intersted I actually adore this subject more than the others.

"Melissa can I see you and Nate before you leave," Mr. Bryan asks but it's more like a request. Nate and I exchange confused glances and walk up to Mr.Bryans desk. Mr.Bryan looks up at both of us, removes his glasses, and rubs the temples of his head.

"Have you guys once got together to study," he asks with a hint of irritation in voice.

"Uh yea we just met up last night," Nates awnsers. Mr.Bryan glares at Nate and I with doubtful eyes and slams a paper with a 55 on it infront of us. "It doesnt look like it," he responds.

"Whatever you two have been doing has been anything but studying. I'm willing to give you both another chance if you score above an 85 on the next test." My eyes widen at the minute he says 85.

"I'm sorry Mr.Bryan, but to go from a fifty-five to an eighty-five is just...well impossible with him. I've tried but instead of reading books he makes forts out of them. How am I supposed to work with that?!"

"Well excuse me but your not the most pleasant to be around either," Nate snaps back.

"Atleast I'm not the one being tutored," I face him. "So much for that date I was gonna take you on," he tries to shoot.

"Who ever said I was even intersted?"

"Well you were pretty interested when were at the river," he whitfully comes back and shuts me up.

"Enough!" Mr.Bryan slams his hands on the desk making Nate and I snap our heads away from eachother and to Mr.Bryan who looks about as red as a cherry tomato. "These charades end now. I dont care if he won't listen,fdrce you just need to make sure he gets an 85. And you," he points at Nate," studying is not suppsed to be fun. if it was fun then we would all be getting A's but thats not the case here."

Mr.Bryan lowers his head as if he's given up and releases a frustrated sigh. " The next test is in two weeks so you better learn everything you can about 'The Odessy'. Now go," he says. Nate and I stand still as a deer would do infront a set of head lights. Do I stay? Is he going to say more? Nate and i give eachother unsure looks as we awkwardly walk out the room and out of the building.

-Hey guys....sorry for the million years wait on the update. As always alots been going on but things are getting better and i finally have time/motivation to continue the story. Seeing your comments made me want to start writing again, so again thank you are sorry for the wait!-