Promises are Meant to be Broken ✔️

Chapter 16

Song: So Cold- Ben Cocks (Lyrics)
~Chapter 16~

~*~

The moon split in half

and the stars crumbled,

falling like fireworks

into the sea.

I watched my world

fall apart the day

my love left me.

-Christy Ann Martine

~*~

***EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING***

~Lucas's P.O.V.~

I looked at the polished wood of the dining table as Svetlana set a plate of food in front of me. It was eggs, toast, and bacon. It's a meal that most found appetizing.

I found it repulsing.

I picked up my fork as Svetlana sat down next to Andy, who was eating and looking down at his phone. Probably scrolling through Instagram or something. I pushed the contents around my plate quietly and listened as Svetlana engaged in a conversation with Andy.

The smell of food filled my nostrils, and I abruptly stood up. Svetlana and Andy looked up at me with worried eyes. They were always like that. They would look at me in worry. With sympathy.

I hated it.

"I'm not hungry," I mumbled, not looking into their eyes. I knew what I would see. Disappointment.

It's been two months since Thomas took the baby and left.

It's been two weeks since I've eaten a full meal and not thrown it up.

It's been two weeks since all happiness was shattered.

It's been two weeks since I began spiralling down into a dark pit of insanity.

I haven't slept. There are purple bags under my eyes that seem to be getting bigger and darker every day that passes. I can't sleep, and yet I struggle to get out of bed every morning.

My arms. My stomach. My thighs. They're all covered in angry, red gashes, each one deeper than the last. There's no clean skin left. It's all mutilated, destroyed by the hands of a monster.

The hands of an outcast.

The hands of a mistake.

My hands.

I am losing myself. I can feel my brain spiralling out of control.

And the voices.

Oh my Nyx, the voices. They get louder everyday, screaming obscenities and terrible things at me. I can't bare them.

I pulled the sleeves of my sweatshirt down and snuck a glance at Svetlana before making my way to the nursery. I would sit in here for days on end, not leaving until Svetlana would practically drag me out. I didn't want to leave the quiet, where the voices would consume me.

I was getting skinnier and skinnier, my rib cage protruding from my skin. I was weak and I could barely walk sometimes. I was never hungry, though. The hunger and the growling of my stomach soon disappeared and turned to a dull emptiness that I often ignored.

The ache in my chest was getting worse. I was yearning to see my pup, to see my mate, but I couldn't.

I didn't know where they were.

Thomas had changed his phone number and he was nowhere to be found. I searched for days, through different town and cities.

Not one spotting.

I walked over to the corner of the nursery and sat down. I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the voices in my head before looking over to a pile of clothes next to me.

It wasn't just clothes in that pile, though.

It was something else; something dangerous.

It was a "cowards way out."

I moved aside the clothes and saw the shiny metal of a blade and three bottles of pills. Picking them up, I slowly made my way to the conjoint bathroom and shut the door behind me, making sure to lock it.

After pulling off my sweatshirt and jeans, I was left in a tank top and my boxers. I filled the bath tub with hot water and grabbed the bottles and razor, setting them on the edge of the tub. I reached into the pocket of my sweatshirt and pulled out the folded up paper. I had written it months ago, knowing this day would come.

I put the note on the bathroom sink before stepping down into the burning water. It didn't bother me. I stared straight ahead as I reached over and grabbed one of the bottles. I opened it and poured the pills into my hand.

I paused for a second and took a shaky breath. I looked down through the blurring of tears and saw the small tablets sitting in my hand. Without another thought, I threw my head back and dry swallowed all of them. I swallowed the second bottle, left the third, and grabbed the razor, feeling myself grow drowsy. Before I passed out, I pushed the blade into my skin, starting at the area by my elbow and making my way down to my wrist. The blood immediately started running and I managed to do the same on the other arm before sinking down further into the water.

I knew it was all over when my vision went black and I felt my head be submerged in water.

~*~

Svetlana,

know "I'm sorry" won't fix what happened. I know it won't fix what I've done. But I'm going to tell you it anyways. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

You shouldn't have to see one of your family members dead at such a young age. Hell, you shouldn't have to see one dead at all. We're werewolves, after all. But here we are anyways.

I know I took the cowards way out. I know what I've done is selfish. You don't understand, though. The voices were getting louder, they were getting angrier, they were getting more vicious. The ache in my chest was beginning to feel like a stab wound that refused to heal. My heart was shattered.

My whole world was destroyed. My hope was fragile, hanging by merely a string. Then, the rope was cut and it destroyed everything.

I was slipping into a pit of insanity. Nothing was going to be able to prevent this, not even you. It was the cowards way out...

And I'm a coward.

I love you, big sister. Please take care of yourself. And please...

Find Thomas.

With Much Love,

Lucas Grey Peterson-Blood

I love you.

~*~

I'm sad now so yeah.

Guys, this book is going to be over soon >~<

I'm not sure how many more chapters, but I know its going to be over soon

I don't want it to be over, but at least ill be able to work on the sequel ;P

*Edit One- 6/19/18*