Fire Heart (Todobaku)

Deep Thoughts

Before the chapter I want to apologize for not updating for so long. I was in a different country for a bit so it was kind of hectic. Also, I apologize if last chapter seemed short, but this one will be long and full of feels. :)

Todorokis POV
I sit in my bed looking at him with no words to say. No one has ever shown me that much kindness. I know it must have been hard to admit it, at least in front of me. Bakugou really is sweet, of course no one would know it unless they got to know him. Eyes full of admiration I just sit here, what is there to say? His actions deserve far beyond a thank you, and I can't even manage to get that out. "You did all of that, for me?" my voice wavers as tears start to swell up. I don't know if these are happy tears, or sad tears. So many emotions are just flooding through its hard to even comprehend anything. His face now changed to shock, no, to soft. I've never seen him like this before. He has a simple smile, his muscles are relaxed, his eyes are mellow, everything about him is peaceful. "Of course I did. What, You thought I was that big of a jerk?" he teases a little then leans back against the wall. Tears still falling down my face his words pierce through my ears. "Lets talk." he says again snapping me out of my trance. My eyes are wet, and I have no clue if my voice is working but this sounds perfect. "So, what's up with that scar?" he asks, and immediately a flashback hits me like a train. Why was this his first question? Anything but this, and I would have been fine. "I don't talk about it." my tears are now gone, and I'm in full defense mode. I hate talking about myself, my family, my anything. Everything to do with me is awful so why talk about it? "Well then you pick something to talk about." he mutters. "Why did you scream?" I ask watching as his soft expression fades to anger. It is beyond my understanding how he can switch moods so quickly. He lets out a big sigh, and instead of anger, it was more relief. My mouth gapes open, but I quickly close it before he notices. "I ran with you in my arms for what felt like forever, and when I finally made it to recovery girls it said close. No one is in the hallways, and everyone was asleep. I was angry, hurt, scared? A mixture between all of those emotions. I knew I had to get someone's attention somehow, but I had no idea if it would work. As I started to panic, I just started screaming. I blacked out, and when I was back in the right mind set I was on my knees with you not in my hands, still screaming." his eyes darted to the ground, but his voice didn't mumble. He wanted me to hear this. "I was scared you weren't okay. I saw all the blood, and you passed out. It took everything in me to get you safe, but it was worth it..." he trails off locking his eyes with mine. For a single second it felt like my heart had completely stopped. "My mother did it." I mumble. Confused he stares at me intensely. "What?" he sits up straight, and is now intrigued inthe conversation. "My scar, my mother did it, but I don't blame her..." I trail off forgetting him. All of the flashbacks of my mother come to mind, and crash in like waves on an ocean. "Every memory of her that I have evolves her crying. My father basically bought her to make children with powerful quirks for his own personal use. She would cry everyday because of him, and everyday he would train me to be exactly like that. She couldn't take it, everyday she saw my left side it hurt her even more. She poured boiling water on my face as a child. I'm the reason she had to be locked up. If I would have just left her alone, but she was my mother. I loved her with all of my heart, but she couldn't stand me. There were some good times, but mostly not. She told me I could be a hero, and not like my father. I believed her, but after her lock up I was all to my father. He taught me as I grew up to who I am now. She would defend me against him, but only to get smacked. She was my hero..." tears stream down my face as I explain. All of these things replay in my mind as I say them. Every feeling, sensation of those moments coming back. The pain, the hurt, the sadness, everything. The room is filled with silence, and for a moment I thought he had fallen asleep. Blinking my eyes I come back to realitly. "And your dad is supposed to be the second best hero?" he spits angrily. The lines in his eyes appear, and I prepare myself for the rant. "That bastard should have his ass kicked specifically by everyone inthis entire country! You don't do that to kids, and especially your wife. How did he even become a hero? THIS ASSHOLE NEEDS TO DIE!" he screams angrily. I nod my head, and stare to the floor. "That's why I won't use my flames. That's his quirk, and I won't give him the satisfaction of watching me use it. I hate him, he abused me for the last time, and I won't be his pet. He treats me as a creation, I'm not his son. I'm something he wanted to make to beat All Might. All because his quirk alone couldn't do it. He doesn't care about me, or feelings. As long as I'm strong that's all he cares about." I grit my teeth talking about him. I hate even his prescense in my mind. Especially my thoughts of him slipping through my lips. "You're nothing like him Todoroki. You have feelings, you have kindness, you have a heart. Using your flames does not evolve him. This is your body, not his. Surpass him, and then show him is rightful place. That bastardbastardto get shut the fuck down, and your the person to do it. Don't let those things hold you back though. Let go, and be free. I'm the worst one to be telling you this, but its true. I still have to learn it myself." he gets up, and slowly walks to my bed. Sitting on the edge beside me he places a soft hand on my shoulder. "I never had a rough childhood. My parents are great, and accept me. Well, not when its to early to my screaming, but other then that. Weakness is not in my vocabulary, and I hate being nice because that is weakness. That is what everyone thinks anyway, but its not true. I would love to let go of this pride, and be chill like the rest of you. To joke around, and be kind to everyone I meet. Everyone in class, in the streets, everywhere, they think I'm going to be a villain. They say by the way I look I look evil, to angry to be a hero. I get nasty looks everywhere I go, and fearful ones as well. I have next to no friends, and constantly feel lonely. When I am nice to people they make it a huge deal that becomes annoying. Like I can be nice if I want to be, its not a big deal. When others are nice they don't make a deal of it, its just me. I constantly get pointed out, and no one ever tries to get to know me. Of course I'm a jerk at first to everyone. That's only to see if you even want to know me, or just need someone for the moment. I hate it, people judge and they don't even know me. Well, its hard not to live how they picture you when that's all you hear, that's how you are treated. Why try anymore?" his voice is hoarse still, but the sincerity masks it all. All these people treat him like a monster. No wonder he acts the way he does. This explains why he looked so relieved when he explained why he did those things for me. I never made it a big deal, I didn't even tell him thanks. That's all he has ever wanted. To do the right thing without looking weak, without getting special treatment. To be treated like a regular human being. "You're one of the strongest people I know Bakugou. Your pride, your will power, your strength in general is above plus ultra. You can be kind, and strong though. I know how people see you, I once thought that way myself. The difference is that I actually got to know you even though you hated me. Even after everything you said to me I stuck with you. I want you to know you can be kind to me, and you won't get treated like a big shot. You will be treated like everyone else, and never have to deal with the bullshit. Be yourself around me, no more hiding. Be who you want to be around me is all I ask of you. If we really are friends then this shouldn't be an issue for you." I now put my hand on his shoulder as we both sit comforting each other. We both needed this. To get things off our minds, off our chests, and to confide in one another. Even though our stories are different, there's a similarity in both. We both need to learn to set ourselves free. To do the things we want, and not hold back. To not limit ourselves but push beyond each expectation. "You know, if you want we can learn to set ourselves free together..." I trail off removing my hand. What am I even saying? What even just happened over the course of us walking into this room. Everything that has been said feels as a dream, but the more Bakugou looks up at me the more real it gets. "You're an idiot Icy Hot.." he chuckles a bit to himself. "But I do like the sound of that." he slightly smirks while going back over to his own bed. The room fills with silence, and that's okay. For once the feeling of being alone is gone, and happiness has entered in. I finally have someone to talk to, to be nice to me. To actually show me what true kindness is. To feel like I am actually important to someone. Instead of someone needing me, I actually need someone. Instead of darkness there's finally some light. Its like a fire as been set within me, and its new. A good new of course. I couldn't ask for anything better then this. To think though that it would be Bakugou of all people. This makes it ever more special. To think the one person who hated you is now your safe place. The person you can tell all your secrets too. Someone who finally understands what it feels like. I smile to myself as the overwhelming feelings rush over me. It isn't even close to be the time to go to bed, but just being in his prescense makes me happy.  As I stare at the ceiling thinking over everything that seemed to good to be true my whole body seems to be burning. Is this what love feels like?