One Small Step | ✔

Similar Stories Of Choice

School on Monday
is almost like every other day.
The only difference being
Roman.

He seeks me out in English
and sits next to me
in the corner.
"Hi."

Startled,
I look up. 
"Hello,"
I reply softly.

"I met you yesterday on the trail."
He says.
I nod.
"I don't mean to pry, but..."

I brace myself for 
the Question.
But instead,
he gestures to my notebook.

"What are you drawing?"
he asks.
Hesitantly,
I open my notebook.

Drawings of trees, scenery,
people.
Done in black pen.
Words mixed in.

I just want
To live 
One more
Yesterday

Roman notices it,
of course.
A bitter smile
crosses his face.

"The past is a
beautiful place,
isn't it?"
He mutters, half to himself.

I simply
stare
at
him.

He just
looks
at
me.

Abruptly he says,
"Do you want to
hang out after school,
today?"

I am
stunned
beyond
words.

He clears his throat.
"I mean,
if you want to,
that is."

The last friend I hung out with besides Tate
was
Adam
before he died.

"S-sure,"
I stutter.
It's been a while since
I've been invited to hang out.

He smiles,
one full of relief.
"Great.
Meet me at my locker after school."

He scribbles down his locker number
and the bell rings just
as he finishes.
341

Class begins
with the same story,
but my story has
changed paths.

I meet Roman at his locker
three thirty sharp.
He's already there,
leaning against it.

"Hey."
His face lights up.
As if he didn't expect me to show up.
"You ready?"

"Where are we going?"
I ask.
"I thought that you
might enjoy something cheerful."

His expression is at ease.
"You've been talked about all week.
So it's my pleasure to be the first
here, to talk to you."

He's just like Adam.
If I had met Adam now,
rather than kindergarten,
I'm sure this is what he'd have said.

"Thanks,"
I say,.
"But you still haven't answered my question."
I suppose I do have to try as well.

"Ah,
to go, or not to go,
that is the question."
He grins.

"Would the arcade work?
Skee ball is
always fun."
He suggests.

"It's always a flirty game too,"
I note.
"Why, Roman,
are you taking me on a date?"

It feels like I'm betraying Carina,
betraying Adam.
and for some odd reason,
it feels like I'm betraying Soren.

I want 
this Pain
to go
away.

Every choice I make,
I will always think 
of Carina,
or Adam.

When I go to university
I'll think of Carina,
when I go to a party,
I'll think of Adam.

Roman brushes under my eye
with a gentle thumb,
"You're crying,"
he observes.

"What?"
I bring a finger up to my eyes.
Sure enough,
There are tears.

"Sorry."
I say,
quickly wiping away the tears.
Roman sighs.

"Tallulah, 
You say sorry
far too much."
He reprimands me.

"You choose what happens,
and you should never apologize 
for what you choose,
unless it hurts someone else."

Suddenly, his voice is distant.
He's living in a memory.
I've done it enough times 
to know.

Someone's choice has hurt him.
Was it like Adam's mother's choice?
Or was it like my sister and Adam's
choice?

Maybe it's neither but either way, he's been hurt by a similar choice.