One Small Step | ✔

Family

The August air is killing the spirit
of summer.
It's too hot to move,
much less go to a wedding.

Ambrose and Dara's wedding
is happening
in literally a day
and so far, it's been catastrophic.

Jacob's flight has been delayed,
Tate's girlfriend just broke up with
him so he's been a wreck
and Dara's mother passed away two weeks ago.

At least
neither of them
are insane...
yet.

But truth be told,
neither of them
are the freaking out type.
They're both insanely calm.

Absolutely,
infuriatingly
calm.
Every single day.

We're at the hair salon,
and I've just gotten my hair trimmed.
It's Dara's turn.
She's getting her hair curled.

"On a scale of one to ten,
Tallulah,
I want to know,"
she says abruptly.

"Want to know what?"
I ask, looking up from my
magazine,
tilting my head a little.

"How much you approve of
me and your brother.
And so soon after
Carina."

I'm considering her words
and I can feel her growing anxious.
"I'm breaking the scale."
I say finally.

Her brows furrow.
"What?"
I smile gently
at her reflection in the mirror.

"Dara, before I moved here,
I hated my life.
Absolutely hated it.
I wanted to kill myself."

My voice is quiet.
The hairstylist makes a
sound but doesn't respond.
After Soren, the town's been silent.

"Ambrose buried himself in work,
Jacob erased us from his mind.
Dad didn't respond to anything.
We were all slowly fading.

"Then you came back into
Ambrose's life.
You pushed me to play
music again. 

"And I remembered
how I survived the years
after Carina went to 
university. Music.

"You brought it back into my life,
you brought happiness back to
Ambrose.
You're the reason our family is still together."

Dara has tears in her eyes.
"So if you're wondering how much I approve,
let me tell you this."
I stand up and walk up beside her.

"If Ambrose ever breaks your heart,
come tell me. My brother will
severely pay for whatever
he did." I say seriously.

"Don't do that!" she laughs,
obviously relieved.
"You and Ambrose are closer
than you think. I'd hate to stand between you."

I smile again and she says tentatively,
"I know I can never replace
Carina. And I don't want to.
But do you think I could be your sister?"

My mind flashes to all the moments
I shared with Carina.
The fun, the laughs,
the smiles, the jokes.

The life she and I shared plays
like a movie in my mind
and I think to myself,
I want that again.

My throat is closed up
and I am unable to utter a word
but I nod.
And that is all Dara needs.

"Sisters." I manage to finally get out.
I hold out my pinky and
she links hers with mine.
"Sisters."

If I hadn't been given the life I had,
mother dead,
father absent,
brothers distant,

Would I still be cherishing
the fact that I have siblings?
Would I be so willing to
accept another sister?

Probably not.
Robyn detested
her sister with a passion.
Her sister hated her too.

But now, I realize
my life would be
dull without
my siblings.

My family was non-existent before
though we shared the same surname.
We shared
the same DNA.

Ambrose.
Carina.
Jacob.
Tate.

My father.
Aunt Margaret.
And
me.

Now we have Dara.
And
the Olsens are
like family too.

Adam was family.
Now Diana is too.
I never got why everyone had an obsession
with family.

But
now
I
do.

Some families aren't worth
time,
trouble,
anything you can offer.

Some aren't
worth a
piece of
crap.

But the one I have, is 
dysfunctional,
struggling.
Perfect.

Family is what
we make it,
what we try to 
make it.

Family is who
we are,
who we 
choose to be.

And I wouldn't trade my family for everything.