One Small Step | ✔

How To Save A Life

His lips are chapped,
his eyes closed.
His body is connected to more
than one machine.

I can only stare in shock,
trying to put the happy, vibrant, 
truthful person, into 
this body.

A question enters my mind
and I want to slap 
myself
for it.

Does he
wish he was
dead or alive?
He's stuck.

Neither
dead
nor
alive.

I stare, 
too numb to tear
my gaze
away.

Roman lets out
a choked sob,
and his hand grips
mine tightly.

Then I remember
something Soren said
and run out to ask
a nurse something.

She's startled
by my question
but she gives me
the answer I need.

I find Mrs. Olsen and
ask if I she can give
me a ride home
and back here.

She gives me
a strange look
but complies
and we rush to my house.

I surprise Ambrose,
almost running
into him.
"What are you doing back already?"

I don't answer,
instead grabbing what I need
and run back out
the door.

Mrs. Olsen takes one
look at what I've brought
and realization dawns on her.
"I like you, Tallulah Bay."

I 
just
smile
at her.

At the hospital, I take
my violin out of my case
and begin to play
his mother's song.

After a few minutes
nothing spontaneous happens
and so I ask Mrs. Olsen.
"Can I come tomorrow?"

She nods.
"I'll tell the nurses to
expect you and Roman."
She lays a hand on my arm.

"Thank you for trying."
Again, I smile.
But this time,
it's sad.

A memory
floods
my mind.
A memory of Carina.

When I was eight,
I got pneumonia.
I was feverish for 
days and days.

Dad didn't come check on me,
not even once.
Ambrose, eighteen at the time, 
had tests every day.

But Carina,
decided I was
more important
than schoolwork.

She didn't trust
Dad to
look after
me.

I can't remember 
much
of the
experience

I remember the murmur
of voices,
the sound of fretting
and the sound of shushing.

I remember being
delirious,
seeing someone who
looked much like my late mother.

I remember the
hot, white,
blinding pain.
But I what I remember most is

Carina singing, playing music,
stroking my hair
as I went through
fits of coughing.

She only left my side
to get food and water.
Tate and Jacob did that
when they got home.

I 
miss
Carina
so much.

For days after the first
visit, Roman brings
me and I bring my
violin.

Song after song,
I keep playing,
willing Soren to wake up.
hoping I can save someone.

Roman gently pulls me out
of the music and asks me,
"Want some dinner?"
I'm frustrated, not hungry. Still, I nod.

When the food comes,
neither of us touch it.
Instead we stare at each other.
Roman breaks the silence.

"Tal, I know how much
you want
my brother to 
wake up."

"It's not just that,
it's-"
and I begin to
cry.

Roman gets out of 
his side
of the booth
and slides next to me.

His arm goes around me,
his head on mine and I lay
my head on his shoulder.
"I know," he says quietly.

"I feel like I've failed him. Failed them.
There has to be something I can do to
help him. There has to be."
I say tearfully.

"I know," he says again.
"How do you save a life?"
I ask him,
not expecting an answer.

"You don't," he sighs.
"You can only help a life
but the life is the person's
to control and carry on."

 We end up
only taking a few bites
each of our dinners,
taking the rest back with us.

He holds my hand as
we sit there next to Soren,
his thumb caressing mine
absently.

My head rests on his shoulder.
My face is still blotchy from before
but Roman doesn't seem to mind,
A few tears of his own slipping.

And though
neither of us are religious people,
we pray and will as hard
as we can for Soren.

Sometimes, the only way to save someone's life, is to just hope and help in the best way you can. 

 _______________________________

I really, really, really cannot resist sharing this video with you all. The Vitamin String Quartet is a group of musicians who switch on and off, but there is always four of them, and all their covers are AMAZING! While writing this chapter, I've been listening to so many of their songs. "Paradise" by Coldplay, covered by The Vitamin String Quartet, the video featured in the media section is one of my favourites by them.